I May Have Accidentally Passed Herpes to My New Boyfriend
Posted , 3 users are following.
I have been diagnosed with HSV-1 AND HSV-2. I have had coldsores since I was really young, I remember my mom telling me the pediatrician thought it (HSV-1) was probably from the guy who sexually assaulted my sister and I as young toddlers. Then in 2017, my husband of two years cheated. He then passed to me HSV-2.
It took me over a year to come to terms with it. I resented him for it. I resented myself. I feared if I would ever be able to have a normal relationship with someone else ever again now. But then I did A LOT of research and educated myself.
For the first year of my diagnosis, I was having very intense outbreaks once a month after I menstruated. So my doctor put me on daily medication which helped for awhile. Then I ran out and I stopped filling it. My last outbreak was August or September of 2018. It is October 2019 right now and I am having one for the first time in forever.
I had a yeast infection already and was treating that. And as that seemed to lessen up I met with a dude I have been talking to for a bit online. He stayed the night and we had sex... I had him buy condoms. As far as I knew, I wasn't having an outbreak at all... I had no sores or anything... He persisted we didn't use the condoms... I tried to argue but gave in like an idiot.
Keep in mind this guy and I haven't had the herpes talk yet... I was scared and I know I should have told him before we had sex... honestly I didn't even think about it. I mean I have not had an outbreak in over a year.
We had sex on Friday. It is now Sunday and NOW I have ulcers and am in pain. I am having an outbreak. I am scared that I didn't notice it coming on and that the virus was active and that I could have passed it to him.
I plan on telling him... but I want to do it in person. And I do not know when he will be coming back over because he lives an hour away.
I am so scared he is going to leave me. What do I do?
1 like, 5 replies
tone42388 brianna09151
Posted
you should of gave him the choice to make up his own mind for one. you just don't forget about having herpes, if anything it's always in the back of your mind. Also female to male is harder to get so hopefully not. I was put in a similar situation and was told later and the girl had the audacity to cheat and expose the next man and didn't tell him either until I did cause I knew him. anyway had she told me from the Begining honestly I'd of still pursued her and just been extra cautious. the fact that she told me after I was extremely p****d and it lead me down a spiral. I've tested negative at 50 weeks and also a negative 8 month western blot. moral of the story you dont always contract the virus with a onetime experience. I wouldn't say nothing and see if he gets symptoms. If you tell him now it's gonna put him down the same testing and worried path I was in. worste case tell him after sex you had wierd symptoms and u think it's probably herpes and ask him to get tested. he just might have it too..
brianna09151 tone42388
Posted
I have memory issues anyway. From other medical issues I have. There have been times I forget what day it is. Or still write the wrong year sometimes on s**t. No I did not just forget it was a thing... I just honestly never thought of it. It never even crossed my mind. Because I have been living life so normally I just kinda didnt remember the precaution. 😕
tone42388 brianna09151
Posted
have you tested with blood work after your diagnoses with hsv2. I kno it's rare but it could be hsv1 down there given the lack of recurrences down there.
brianna09151 tone42388
Posted
No actually I have not. I plan on going back to the doctor though and getting a second opinion.
nunyabiz brianna09151
Edited
First off, people like you are the reason this virus is spreading so much. All the research you claim to have done and you, for one, didnt tell your partner you have herpes, and two, had unprotected sex with him?!! Maybe you didnt do enough research so let me tell you, YOU CAN STILL PASS THE VIRUS WITHOUT AN OUTBREAK ITS CALLED SHEDDING. Now here is what you need to do as a decent human being. Tell him as soon as possible so he can get tested and also because its the right thing to do. If you persue a relationship with anyone, you must tell them BEFORE sex. And go back on medication! This helps prevent passing it. Always be protected, but if its someone you plan on seeing longterm, have the conversation with then ahead of time and together the two of you can decide to be be unprotected and careful. You're really too old to be that careless.