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I need a confidence boost any good advice?

Posted , 4 users are following.

carla13439
carla13439

Hey...ummm not to sure how to start this but 7months ago I found out I had chlamidia and was right on to it....its like I knew the moment something was wrong so I went to the first available doc...got that sorted pretty much straight away...though after I was cleared of it I kept getting sores around the area and I been back to doc and explaining what was going on and that I wanted to be checked for everything...tho they kept sending me away saying im fine

...anyways recently had a breakout so I went to get my results from new doc and got him to check for herpes and come back positive for the 2nd virus I think it is...still trying to get my head around it .im angry, im scared and I feel dirty and hopeless...angry the docs didnt listen to me for the last 7 months...scared because I dont know what to do and dirty and hopeless that I wont find someone who will agree with it and that its to much of a risk with having kids factor...I think all im saying is I dont know what im going to do...

0 likes, 16 replies

16 Replies

  • feelbroken
    feelbroken carla13439

    Posted

    Carla, it is understandable you would feel this way, we all have and at times still do. So many people have it and over 80% don't know. Do not worry about the childbirth situation, I have several friend that have had two to three children and have herpes. None of the children got herpes and are doing great. You can request a C section if it's that big of a concern, but all my friends birthed vaginally. They put you on meds the last trimester to ensure you don't break out during delivery. It takes some getting used to the idea, but eventually you will and you'll see that life keeps moving right along and that this is just an annoyance in the Kong run that you'll have to deal w Evey now and again.
    • carla13439
      carla13439 feelbroken

      Posted

      Thanks heaps for advice...I wont be having children for a while but its just good to know that when the time does come that it is possible...
  • theresa48911
    theresa48911 carla13439

    Posted

    First, you are not dirty. You are not gross. The unfortunate reality is herpes is way more common than you think, just not talked about because of the negative misconception around it. I had a friend who got genital herpes from her husband who had a cold sore on his lip when he gave her oral sex. So many ppl have herpes and either don't know it or don't tell their partners. The two men i have loved in the last 16 years since i contacted the virus still loved me once I told them.

    Second, with good communication and knowledge of the virus it is very possible to not spread to your partner. I have yet to spread this virus to a partner. If you are in tune with your body like i am you notice signs almost immediately and then refrain from sex until all is clear.

    Having herpesvirus is not the end of the world. After time you will just learn to live life with it and be more careful with future partners. Don't get me wrong, having herpes totally Sucks. Outbreaks are painful but after time they become less painful and less frequent. Good luck. Pick your head up 😊

    • carla13439
      carla13439 theresa48911

      Posted

      Thanks heaps....im trying not to stress about it...and the horrible feeling of trying lay blame on someone...its not me...im determined to find away to get rid of it since im on a health mission anyways...have you heard of olive leaf extract...apparently it can help...ive been stalking google facts for last few days....
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken theresa48911

      Posted

      Theresa, how soon did you tell those two partners? I feel like every day even while on daily meds that I am active at least at some point. I feel like I'm gonna end up spreading it.
    • theresa48911
      theresa48911 feelbroken

      Posted

      I told them soon as we decided to become sexual. I educated them on the virus, and they made the decision to continue with the relationship or not. As far as I'm aware i have never spread the virus to anyone else. Now let me tell you I do NOT tell every partner nor have i even told my closest friends or family. It's sad but unless you have the virus you are not educated or understanding of all it entails. I do not have sex during a outbreak even with condoms. Again to remind you I've been infected for 15 years. I've had a lot of time to understand and live with this virus. It's not a dirty persons virus, or passed between whores. I was sleeping with one man who did not care to tell me or keep me protected.
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken theresa48911

      Posted

      Why haven't you told other partners? The virus can be spread when you're not having an ob, but I'm pretty sure you know that having it this long. I can't believe you've kept that secret from your closest friends for 15yrs. I could barely keep it to myself and told people I shouldn't have told. I hate that I have a hard time keeping stuff like that inside, but I know now I have to do a better job of protecting myself by not sharing it. Why do you feel you couldn't tell your best friend?

      Do you have hsv 1 or 2? How often did you have obs and were you on daily therapy? Did you not feel the same down there for a year? I will feel like I get hot spots if that makes sense. I know it's nerve stuff. I itch most days of the month, if not all. I should probably start journaling it. Has sex ever hurt because of it?

      I am so terrified of telling someone, because I feel like I can't assure them of the low transmission risk, cuz I seem to have some strange sensation every single day. Yes, it has lessened over the months, but still. I've been getting a tickling feeling in random little spots that last a few seconds on my buttock and back of thighs, that makes me have to itch it away. Almost the same feeling as when you get a single hair lying on your skin and you think it's a bug crawling. I don't know if I should take that as a sign that I'm active or not

    • theresa48911
      theresa48911 feelbroken

      Posted

      OMG trust me, even your best of friends can't handle knowing something so personal about you. Since they don't understand the virus they have no idea how to live with it. They will spill the beans to ppl regardless of their loyalty to you. I have 4 sisters whom I've never told either. Having HSV2 is too private for me.

      I don't tell all my partners cause if they don't love you they don't care enough to keep your secret. Use condoms! Having this virus for 15 years i always know can feel a outbreak the day before it happens. Usually there is a dull pain or slight itch in the area, then just like always an open sore the next day. I never get more than one sore and it's very tiny in size. I've only had maybe 3 very bad outbreaks in 15 years. It does get better over time.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken theresa48911

      Posted

      Well aren't you not supposed to have sex w someone if you haven't told them? Those are people who could have gotten it and never knew it was you, cause they always used condoms w you & like most ignorant people, believe they won't pass it if they use protection. Well we all know by now that's not true. Ypu are right that some people will tell, but herpes doesn't is talked about more and not as stigmatized as it was back when you got it. Times have changed. But I agree, most of your gfs will go back and tell their husband or bf, because they justify that not being the same as telling other friends
    • theresa48911
      theresa48911 feelbroken

      Posted

      I am being honest with you. Not asking for judgements. You take what you want from my advise. Condoms aren't 100% protection from everything but they do protect me from transmission. I get a single sore and it's always in the same area, which is protected by a condom. But like I've said over and over i DO NOT HAVE SEX DURING A OUTBREAK. I only get 1-2 a year also. I went 3 years without a single ob. The two men I've had sex with without condoms knew about my virus beforehand.

      Many may not agree with me, but i have my reasons and you will have yours too. Be very careful who you discuss this with unless you want the entire community to know. You will be labeled and criticized. The right man will love and accept you for all you offer. Plus statistics show many many ppl have the virus already so you aren't alone in your fears. Good luck.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken theresa48911

      Posted

      I'm not judging, hence the reason I worded it as a question. It's just that the theory of only being contagious during an ob and/or the spot that you have a sore only is outdated info. That is actually not the case. The virus sheds 5xs a yr or more w no signs or symptoms and not necessarily in the same spot, so there is still risk of transmission. I completely understand why you do what you do and I don't blame you, I couldn't take away someone's option like what was done to me.

      It's also illegal to knowingly to have sex w someone knowing you're infected and not inform them. There are people who have used and it is public and in the news papers. Trust me, I remember reading one case in the local paper about 8yrs ago.

      So you've never had pain and things felt normal w sex having this?

    • theresa48911
      theresa48911 feelbroken

      Posted

      Sex has never been painful for me.

      I should tell you that both men i was in a relationship with whom knew i had the virus still have never contracted it. I was with the 1st man 12 years ago for a year and the 2nd man for 5 years. Since i told them about being infected they had the choice in where to take our relationship. Both stayed. With either relationship we did not use condoms as both were willing to take the risk once educated. I still remain in contact with both men and neither have the virus still. My point is don't take everything that is written so literally. I believe that herpes is spread during a outbreak but that's my opinion.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken theresa48911

      Posted

      OK.. Thanks for sharing and I really do appreciate your honesty. I hope one day I don't break out much like you and that I never pass it either
  • princess52104
    princess52104 carla13439

    Posted

    Carla13439 you just like me but i had trichmonais i was carrying both diseases at the same time and when i kept going to the doctor they told me that i was fine too but i kept itching and a nurse pract told me 11/11/14 i had herpes
    • carla13439
      carla13439 princess52104

      Posted

      Trichmonais??I havent heard of that one...

      Its only been 2 days since I found out...but yeh the last 7 months was getting frustrating. ..ill be right for a week then id break out the next...was told it was thrush or something to do with not wearing breathable clothing... think its the docs im p*ssed at the most...7 months...honestly what do we pay them for....but im so happy I found this page...felt really lost...but its good to know that im not the only one and can have a chat or ask question about the subject...my new doc...I told him that for now on if I want them to check something out to just do it...because usually when I think somethings not right unfortunately im usually right. ..meh

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