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I need help.. Social anxiety, GAD and depression (probably)

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Contakt2
Contakt2

I'm 20 years old. I suffer from severe social anxiety, depression and GAD. That's at least what my diagnose, but I'm still not 100% sure if that's the case. I have a very hard time leaving my house. I'm struggling with this for 3 years, but I haven't improved, it only went worse. I have followed therapy for longer then a year, but I didn't improve from it. Currently I haven't left my house for 2 weeks and it's also increasing my GAD I think, because I got so much time to think. I'm waiting for a new psychologist and I had my first appointment which went not great, but I manage to get through it. About a few days I have my next appointment where they are going to discuss a plan with and after that I have to wait some months before I actually can start therapy. But it's extremely difficult to get to the appointment. I already cancelled one and I am super afraid this one is not possible too. It seems even harder then the first one.

Back to my GAD, it's really destroying my life. I have noticed that my mind is actually constantly busy finding fears. Through out the day I'm literally constantly busy with my thoughts and feelings. It's super exhausting. I'm questioning everything because of it. I can't enjoy anything anymore. I am constantly feeling super bad in general. I feel very bad in my own skin. It's super hard to describe how I feel and I often feel that people don't know how I feel which is difficult. I experience derealization as well. I feel very disconnected. One of my biggest fears is losing control and because my mind is so unwanted negative I feel like I am not in control. It freaks me out. I'm super afraid I suffer from schizophrenia. Everything that seems out of the ordinary freaks me out. I am constantly in battle with myself. I don't know who I am under all of this anxiety, because it's going on for so long. Because of this my confidence is super low. I feel like I don't even trust myself and I hate myself. I also have extreme fears of medicine, alcohol, coffee and even tea (caffeine). It makes me super nervous and anxious. But again, my mind is actually constantly finding new fears and it's basically in everything right now.

Because of my GAD and all of the side problems I mentioned I have a very hard time leaving my house. I'm avoiding almost every social contact. I can't even open my door anymore for someone. I am experiencing physical symptoms when being out in public and of course anxiety, stress and panic. Eye contact and such is freaking me out and situation where I feel I can't leave.

My depression is another thing as well. Everything feels so overwhelming and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Is putting this much effort worth it? I tried tons of exposure over the years, but I didn't improve. Is there a change of a happy life? Because right now I am just super depressed and unhappy.

Is there a way out of this? I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Anyone recognize him or herself in this? Hopefully someone would respond, it would be appreciated a lot. Any tips and/or advice are super welcome.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • michael63720
    michael63720 Contakt2

    Posted

    I would say find something you enjoy doing music running etc put you over thinking mind into something like that it really helps change your thought patterns also get a elastic band put it on your wrist when ever you feel out of it dizzy etc flick that banned on your wrist and say this out loud I am here this is not real this is just a feeling and it will past. I wish you so all the best I have suffered with anxiety and depression since I was 15 I am 40 this year and still here so do not give up people like you and me are unique remember it's all about using the over thinking to benefit your life

    • Contakt2
      Contakt2 michael63720

      Posted

      Well, it even effect my indoor hobbies right now. I'm making music, but even then I feel uncomfortable sometimes and often I start out and after a little hour I got unmotivated. Watching movies is another thing I liked.. Well, that is no fun anymore as well. Running or basically anything outside is a huge anxiety struggle for me, so it wouldn't change my thought pattern. I'm living in a city so it's not that I can easily go outside when having this much social anxiety. So it's currently just constantly with me. No wonder I got depressed. I would try that elastic band idea of yours.

      How can overthinking benefit your life? Yeah, all I am thinking all day long is negative and depressing, but that's what I'm doing and how I feel for a long time now. I don't know how to turn it in positive thoughts anymore. It's so difficult because it's just thoughts and feelings..

  • JoshBailey
    JoshBailey Contakt2

    Posted

    Hey im 22 and i myself are just like you, ive been struggling for 5 years ish, started off as just abit of depression and anger issues i would punch things and run away to the park or something if i didnt like the outcome.. but now im the complete opposite, im just constantly anxious, i never leave my house for about 2 years now and i only really leave once in a blue moon just for a doctors appointments, im also scared of caffiene and anything with sugar, i mainly drink water, if i go out, i have to have a giant water bottle with me or else i wont go, it doesnt help much but it helps enough to make me need it everytime, i rarely drink anything else, im also afraid of eating, i hate nausea, vomiting and any sort of stomach issue, so i try to avoid eating to much, although some days i eat so much and other days im just scared to eat anything, like today i just ate 2 slices of water melon, apple and like 6 grapes and some chicken and mayo wraps, i always get heart palpitations from eating,it just seems to get worse that is when ive eaten alot, but i also have heart palpitations pretty much all day, i dont exercise or leave my room, im so certain its a heart attack in the making, but ive had probably 20 EKG's in the part year or so, several paramedics and several hospital visits, it just feels like no one believes me or are missing the heart problem and its constantly on my mind, i get really breathless,shaky, chest pains and warm feeling in my chest arms and thighs its horrible, and of course the palpitations which seem to be alot stronger during an anxiety attack but my heart rate is high most of the time but its not always so noticeable, constantly feel like crap,cant cope, only have my mum and she doesnt get it, constantly alone in my mind, this condition feels like a death sentence, cant enjoy life anymore it just scares me, i miss when i was 16-17, coming out of my first love relationship thinking the world was ending lol! if only i could understand how much worse things could get...

    Honestly i cant assure you that its anxiety thats troubling you but the probability suggests it is, but do remember although i forget all the time that your not alone, if you want a chat, abit of reassurance or a shoulder to cry on, message me because it sounds like we both need someone to comprehend everything with

    • Contakt2
      Contakt2 JoshBailey

      Posted

      Hey Josh,

      I don't know if we really have something similar to be honest, but perhaps we could help each other out a bit.

      Correct me if I'm wrong. You're often or constantly afraid that there is something wrong with your physical health right? My anxiety is especially focussed on my mental health. I do have physical symptoms. So stomach problems, heart palpitations, nausea, dizziness etc. are familiar for me. But it's a long time ago that I really thought there was something physically wrong with me. I'm more afraid that there is something mentally wrong with me. I often feel very nervous without really a specific reason. I'm constantly busy with my thoughts. I'm constantly afraid of losing my mind. I'm anxious of myself, because my personality might be evil or something. I often have unpleasant thoughts and I feel like I'm not really having control over them. Everything life has to offer and who I am I'm constantly questioning something might be wrong. I feel weak. I feel like being stuck at home is effecting and increasing this. I am struggling of accepting myself. I'm a very thoughtful person. I always been, but now it's really working negatively in every aspect of my life. I'm feeling very disconnected of everything. We have saying here in the Netherlands; Make an elephant out of a fly. For me I think that applies a lot. Every possibility my mind has to add another anxiety problem it takes it. It can be a small thing, but it feels like that big elephant, although the problem is the tiny fly.

      I had a tough childhood. I never really had a change to develop myself properly and I was exposed to things I should not have been to. I don't have traumas, but I never really have experienced happiness in my life, so I don't really know what it is. I struggle with social anxiety whole my life, but it really went out of hand last year. 3 years ago my anxiety became unmanageable.

      The day after tomorrow I have my appointment, but I honestly don't know how to pull it off. I'm already feeling anxious and stressed about.

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