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The knowledge of the following people are required to understand the situation.

I have a sister, who used to be a pretty normal girl as I remember. Her personality changes drastically.

I have a mother who might be bipolar, she has very weird personality issues, where she has been suicidal on and off, and has been ranging from extremely nice to extremely mean. She never does physical punishment, however she continuously insults my father and it has been ongoing - divorce has been heavily mentioned, and she calls my dad a wimp, tool, nerd, and more. I'm not kidding, and my father has been diagnosed with depression for the past 6 years or so, he is suicidal as well. She is from Taiwan and speaks fluent english.

I have a younger sister and brother. They are pretty much out of the story, and have little effect on the situation.

My father is very complicated. He is extremely nice. It is rather extreme of how nice he is, because he rarely says no. He spoils us whenever we want, and spends money until he is at 0. He is not in debt, however frequently falls below zero, but usually makes it back to positive. He works at a desk job from around 6:30 AM to 10:00 PM and it usually takes him around an hour to get home. My father tries to make everything work, but usually cant. He often tries to achieve and makes lots of plans to, however never does. He rarely actually does work to achieve his goals, however he is not a bad person.

My grandfather is my favorite. Not because of his wealth, however because of who he is. Although he is very wealthy, I actually have no idea how much, but he is a very accomplished millionaire. I don't suck up to him for his money, he rarely spends money on us and only tries to fufill our needs. I have other deep connections with him, because we often go on trips together and he taught me how to play piano. He takes care of our family and I love him because he is funny and is a fun person as well. 

My grandmother is very simaler to my dad. Although not depressed,  [this part may confuse you now, ill get to it later] and not completely dominated by my sister, she is still somewhat in command of my sister. She does recieve occasional insults from my sister, but they are not as severe as to my father. She does have control over my grandfather's money, and is extremely kind. She is in a completely different world however, and is extremely easily tricked for decietful purposes. She can be easily tricked and lied to, and she never realizes the reality of a situation. She is much like my father.

And last but not least, there's me. I am not just saying this to look like the normal person in the situation, but I really am the middle man. My two little sibblings are always in childish conflict with eachother, and which i'll get to later, my sister moves out, so I don't have any troubles. The only thing I truly suffer from is other conflicts throughout the house. Like my mother's constant suicidal thoughts, as same with my dad, and the entire situation on his side with my sister and mom. I play piano, love intellectual practices, and do considerably well in school. I rarely create conflicts and am just observing the entire situation.

Here's where it begins. I'll give the shortest recap of the past few years - when everything begins to happen.

For me growing up, my sister was a brutal person. Although she did have a sweet side, that dissapeared very fast as time went on. She often beat me up and gave me bloody noses. Before she moved out at around age 14, I was called by my mother a baby and she said I needed to man up. I didn't really have strength power over her until I hit puberty. I was always extremely jelous of her, because she would beg extremely hard for everything. She got so much more than me and I always got mad at my dad for falling for her begging. She had so many more electronics than me, and she nearly had 5 phones at age 12 where 4 broke. the 5th was an iphone 3gs.

A very wierd and long story incoddent occured at my church, where a conflict between my mother and my sister occured. My sister called my mom an "A-hole" and my mom said "If i'm an A-hole, then i'm not your mother". From that point, things went downhill. Oh yea, and for years around that time period, my mom constantly called my dad a wimp and a tool for always buying my sister stuff. My sister was an extremely spoiled 12 year old who took control of my dad's money. My dad was in debt and my mom blamed my dad for listining to my sister. Now many conflicts which only got worse arose between my sister and mom, which all got piled on my dad.

Eventually, my mother drives my sister out of the house, where she just luckily gets to live with my grandparents who live in the same town. I love going there, because they have a pool and hottub, and there are often people there. The only effect it has is that my sister had their house as an option when they hated eachother a lot.

My sister now lives with my grandparents, and my mom has almost no contact with them.

My sister learns that she can easily take advantage of my grandmother, because she always gives a lot of money out. My sister does many deceitful tricks to get money from my grandparents, to buy drugs, or clothing for herself.

My grandfather has little care over the massive amounts of money she spends, maybe even thousands a month on anything she desires.

My father is a tool compared to her. He always gives in to her threatening my father. Here are a few words I heard in a call with her and my dad, while my dad was trying to deny her request to drive around. Before i get to the quotes, I wanted to say that she is allowed to drive, however only with a guardian, and so she spends literaly hours of my dad's free time making him sit in the car while she drives him around. My dad takes no action to stop her, and often has suicidal thoughts. "You better drive me around you f****** piece of s***. I'll cut myself and blame it on you to get you in jail. If you don't let me go out, i'll come to your house and break in and hurt people. I wont study and tell my counsaler it's because of you!" So my dad says yes. By the way, these threats are frequent and my dad always says yes to her requests.

My mother only adds to my father's depression, she slowly fades out of the situation.

My sister is the dominant figure in this entire situation. We have gotten therepy and counsalers to help with the situation. All the perameters gives for are reasons that my sister can take advantage of my dad. If my dad got home at 10:30 PM and my sister forced him to drive around until 12:30 AM, for 3 days straight, if he didn't do it the fourth, she'd tell the counsaler her father did not want to spend time with her. She easily makes situations seem extremely favorable towards her side. She could reword a situation to make my father seem like a horrible person. My sister practically controlls my father's decisions. I said I would call the cops on my sister eventually and my dad said "don't you dare do that, ill handle this". My dad keeps telling me that he wants to die very soon and I keep telling him to not give in to my sister's commands, however he always does. My dad admitted that accepting to take my sister out was a stupid decision, and i brought him to the conclusion that if he went, he would become more depressed. He still went with my sister.

I want to kill myself, so I don't have to see my father do it. I also have several other problems that have to do with social situations, but that's irrelivent.

My father want's himself to die.

My mother has wanted to commit suicide many times.

Something crazy is going to happen. I don't feel safe around my sister, and everything is extremely unstable.

Somebody please freaking help me. I wish my sister was dead. She is a horrible person.

What the heck do I do

1 like, 7 replies

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    I don't really know but by the way you are talking it's your illness.i think you need to talk to a professional sooner rather than later.it seems there are a lot of issues needing sorted out.
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  • Posted

    I will be honest, I don't fully understand your post. It reads as a story and I'm not sure what to make of that.

    You have asked what should you do? What do you want to do? You cannot help how other people feel or what they do. You can start by advising anyone contemplating suicide or hurting themselves to seek medical help. But I think you know that. If a member of your family (or anyone) is violent they need to seek help and you should tell the police. Finally, if you feel your family are the cause of all your problems leave home and find somewhere else to live.

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  • Posted

    I am with tony15730 on this.   As well as trying to get counselling for yourself, you should try to distance yourself yourself from these people asap if you are old enough and have the financial means - i.e. find somewhere else to live.

    It may be from that point that you are in a better place to help your dad to also seek counselling and gain more confidence to assert himself.

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  • Posted


    Positive= you've pretty self analysed things (obviously from your point of view) - You didn't mention what side the rich Grandparents are but if Its Mums, then SHE is expecting your dad to 'achieve' what her dear daddy did and cause she sees no monetary achievent and ignores the personal / family achievement she Hates your dad for lowering her 'social status'. (just a suggested explanation of why.)

    The daughter may have been trained the same way - hence the demand for the latest stuff.

    YOU see the real stuff - like your dad ... Think about your Church.. Its all about the people not the posessions HEY? smile

    So - so what if Mummy and Sis get 4g phones? Are they going to Heaven? I don't think so!

    Agree with the others, I've moved across the city to make family communication much less. It DOES help you, but I WOULD move near friends cause its not nice living in a rented garage on you own which is whai I'm doing.

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  • Posted

    you should read the Toxic Parents
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    • Posted

      or toxic family, i am trying to get the toxic parents book as i have really bad issuses from childhood which at 51 still hurt when my Mother phones  and just wants to hurt me. I can't talk to her as the next thing everyone knows what I have said. My sister doesn't talk to her or anyone for that matter. She has stayed locked in her house for around 15 years
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  • Posted

    Hi I agree with the others.   You are not responsible for your parents or your sisters behaviour - it is up to them to sort out their differences.   I think you are too close to see this clearly but you have to leave them to sort it out.

    If you are old enough and working I would be looking to move out and get a life outside the family.   

    Bev x

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