I need some friends....I sometimes feel like giving up!

Posted , 9 users are following.

I'm 24 and a guy. I've chosen online entrepreneurship as my career instead of being something regular. So I'm at home all day and I don't feel like working. I can't meet new people because my place is a very small town with not many people my age. I only have some family members and one or two friends to contact by phone. It seems like people don't contact me unless I contact them first and it's heartbreaking. Every few days someone tells me I should just choose something regular instead of entrepreneurship. Sometimes I feel like I should give up my dreams and be a 9 to 5 ordinary guy with zero excitement in life. Sometimes I feel so low I just want to not exist. I need some friends to chat. Anyone I can WhatsApp?

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi, Noor 200!

    I’m sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time finding friends. I can certainly relate to your struggle. While you have chosen entrepreneurship as your form of alienation, I am attending college online right now, so I find myself in a similar predicament. I choose not to work so I could focus my efforts on school, but that has also left me in a lonely state. I have also forsaken the majority of friends I have previously had since our virtues are no longer compatible. I wish I had some legitimate constructive advice for you. It’s just that when it comes down to the reality of both of our situations, we have chosen solitude. I cannot even count the times I have thought of giving up, and those thoughts can be so discouraging. The only thing that keeps me going is hope for the future. It is an evident fact of human nature that we need to be social. We need other people. According to Aristotle, we should consider ourselves fortunate to have a few perfect or true friendships throughout a lifetime. This requires more than a friendship of simply passion or utility, but mutual care for one another. It wouldn’t be very fair to expect others to care for and love us if we do not give love initially, or in return. I can see why someone like who who chose entrepreneurship would find themselves in this situation, but please do not give up hope! You are 23, still so young and full of opportunities. There is so much to look forward to. I’m 28 and just beginning to get a handle on some of my thoughts. I admire your willingness to seek help and I genuinely hope that you find what it is that you are looking for. I am pretty unfamiliar with how this site works with regard to communications, but I hope that you find some of what I said useful. I don’t have WhatsApp, otherwise I would be happy to continue this conversation on a more personal level. Being human is weird sometimes and it’s not easy by any means. However, it is our duty to keep trying. Best wishes to you! Take care and have a good day smile

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the reply. Well it's great that you have decided to better yourself by taking classes. For a while I joined a proper college but disliked the subject as well as the people so had to stop going for my own sanity. Hope you're out of school soon and find a great career path. Good luck to you too!

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  • Posted

    Please don't get wrapped in your solitude and perhaps your chosen job is not ideal to meet people. Don't make work your b all and end all join a group perhaps volunteer . Take it from one much older than you who has spent most of his adult life helping others as a social worker. I had little interest or time for hobbies and had few friends whom since I have taken early retirement have not made much effort to stay in touch. I'm finding my reality of my profession had me not wanting to go out much as work was stressful and towards end not very rewarding. Thank god I have a great partner but I am finding it difficult to find interest but know that I need to put myself out there and try to make more friends as my days are quite empty and have just moved to Eastleigh in Hampshire and becoming a bit of a recluse    

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  • Posted

    My 19 year old grandson sounds just like you. He has started an online business only has virtual friends   He says he is fine but I know some social contact is important. He does use What’s App. I will show him your post and see if he would like to text you. 

    You are still very young maybe you are not ready to make any major steps. Think small changes. Be kind to yourself. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Noor - social isolation will be the next big psychological health problem in this world. You have given your own answer to the problem - get a job with real-time, real-human social interaction. Better still - why did you choose a job that would isolate you - is that your subconscious speaking? A 9-5 job doesn't have to be ordinary - it's what you make it - and the notion that someone working those hours has no excitement in life is just plain ignorant.

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    • Posted

      Hi Wayne! I certainly don't mean that all regular jobs are devoid of excitement. For other people they may be great fits. However personally I get excited by entrepreneurship the most. It's a weird and unusual thing. As for getting a real job, the thing is I've thought about being a doctor, an engineer, an accountant and whatnot. I always conclude that I won't be comfortable with the lifestyle. So that's the issue.

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  • Posted

    So proud of you for reaching out.  I hope all young people like you know that when something is interfering in their life they should always reach out for help.  Thats the first step of getting better.  So first feel good about that and about yourself.  Second, know that loneliness  can be a real issue with any human.  Humans must have socialization and some people need more than others.  But it's necessity for wellness. 

    It sounds like you need to make some changes.   Or maybe this is only a temporary situation and you can withstand knowing further down the road you can make a change that  would add more socialization.  I don't know enough about your situation but brain storm options.    Don't beat yourself up, try to stay positive.  Don't worry if your friend is not reaching out.  You keep  reaching out to them. 

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Amy! The thing is I used to be one of the smarter kids back in school. I did my senior years from the most popular institute in the state. So most people expected me to become a doctor or something that is traditionally respected. However I left schooling after that. Tried my hands on online entrepreneurship and people don't understand. In my mind I'm someone who will hopefully succeed later in life. In others' mind I'm someone who has failed to do something with life. I believe people are no longer proud of me because I've not become something already. My parents are somewhat sad too cause their son didn't become a doctor or an engineer or a banker. But I just can't get excited about those jobs. I can't. So I think most of my earlier friends feel that I'm a failure already and so don't want much to do with me.

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    • Posted

      good for you for  doing what you want.   Doing something you love means you will never work a day in your life. You've got to give this a try at least. 

      As far as what other people think, you may be wrong.  Many times what we tell ourselves with negative self talk is not even a true fact. Is there really anything they have said to prove they really think that?   And even so, it really doesn't matter what they think.  This is your life, not theirs.   I 'm sure you don't care what they are doing so they probably don't care what you are doing as a profession. 

      Plus, many very successful people have to work long and hard to get to real success. 

      But we still need to find a way for you to have more socialization!

       

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  • Posted

    I'm 25 & also have no friends & honestly although it can be boring & frustrating at times it's better to surround yourself with people you actually care about & trust rather than having a lot of 'friends' but still feeling alone x

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    • Posted

      Well Yasmine I agree that we need friends we can trust and respect. But right now I'm in a position where I can't meet new people offline. So I want to make online friends with whom I can share day to day things and just chat generally to pass time so that I don't get too lonely. I've had some really good online friends in the past so I don't see it as useless. Since you're 25 let me know if you'd like to WhatsApp. In case we don't like each other we can always stop chatting.

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  • Posted

    Hi Noor,

    No one should dictate you on what you should or should't be doing. Maybe you need to be more self-reliant. Few people but real ones are enough. It gets messy having too many people with different opinions and say on how you live your life.

    Anyway, you chose this kind of job. You were happy with it. Maybe you just reached a point where it became routinary and boring. Eventually, you'll realize that it is what you wanted. 

    Have your tried going on vacation? To refresh your mind. Since your work is online that means you can do it wherever you are in the world.

    Dee

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