I never thought I would deal with anxiety this serious
Posted , 5 users are following.
As weird as it sounds to admit to myself, I am somewhat grateful to be going through heavy anxiety and depression. It's something I have never experienced in the past and also never took seriously. It all started with a panic attack on February 18th, 2017, while I was trying to doze off in the passengers seat of the truck on the way to San Antonio for a weekend to unwind. It was crazy, I didn't think I could truly and unconsciously think my way into a panic attack that caused my heart rate to shoot up to 130 and stay there, but I did. I wanted to believe so badly that something was wrong with me health-wise and that it wasn't stress or anxiety. In my opinion, it's almost worse to find out its anxiety because there's not one concrete thing that's causing the pain, it could be so many things and so many uncontrollable thoughts. When thinking about when it all started, I remember that the previous week before the trip, one of my teeth on my right side started hurting really bad again. I dealt with severe pain in that side a year before but the dentist said it was just a cavity and filled it. I'm not sure if this was the underlying cause that resulted in a panic attack 5 days later, but I did know that I was really upset that my tooth pain came back. I got fillings in that side of the mouth and I also sleep on that side of my face and was told that I could be grinding at night when I sleep. I'm not sure what the cause of it is still but I keep dealing with teeth pain issues. After the panic attack incident everything went down hill. I went through multiple ER visits, wisdom teeth surgery, antibiotics and anxiety medication. For someone who never takes medicine, as I try to let my body take its natural course, it was a sudden change for me. I felt like my immune system was deteriorating. I was so weak, I lost 16 pounds in two weeks, and began to have trouble getting sleep. All of this was so new to me, I've never felt so bad in my life. People would always characterize me as stress free and easy going. I felt the same way too, especially when compared to my twin sister, who is the stressor in the family. It's been 3 months now, and I slowly seem to be getting back on track. The mere thought of waking up one day and feeling like myself again motivates me to make it through every day. I've had some really negative thoughts and identity struggles, but I can say that I think and hope it's getting better and to just try and be patient and let this anxiety and depression pass. Some days are okay and some days are really bad, keeping me in bed all day crying, but while I'm in bed I read through all of these other stories that are all eerily similar to mine and it really helps to know all of you are going through this too. Don't lose hope, no matter how hard it gets. Don't take the easy way out, and always pray about it.
2 likes, 7 replies
diane524 tia53370
Posted
tia53370 diane524
Posted
Wow, I read quite a few stories regarding anxiety stemming from heart issues. It's actually what I thought my anxiety might have been triggered by. Although my ekg's came back normal, I'll be getting an echocardiogram done soon just to make sure it's not the heart. I'm sure the year was rough but it's really refreshing to hear that you are getting back to a normal level of anxiety. I hope your heart issues are getting better too, I've read a lot about the stents helping people when they find out they have issues with their heart, I hope it's doing the same for you!
dannie75821 tia53370
Posted
Needhelp_asap tia53370
Posted
It's good that you shared your story and that you give hope to people!
You will get through this! And I hope everyone on here gets to the level they want. Best of luck to you!
Bless you!
tia53370 Needhelp_asap
Posted
elahw tia53370
Posted
Wow, this is almost like you're describing what happened to me in December of last year just minus the tooth pain. I was treated for anxiety as a teen but now that I have experienced intense anxiety, I feel like what I had before was NOTHING. I too lost weight and could hardly get out of bed. I felt like I was in an alternate reality. It is so hard to describe the feeling. I am getting myself back and that's also what motivates me. Thanks for sharing. It's helpful to know others have gone through or are going through the same thing.
tia53370 elahw
Posted
Thanks for replying! It is so hard to describe the feeling, I like that you stated that. It felt like one thing after the other, one symptom after the other and I also felt like I wasn't myself and just not a part of reality. I scroll through old pictures just to try to get a sense of myself and how care free I used to be and what changed that and how do I get back to myself, and that helps sometimes. From what I've read out of all my research, it's clearly not something that happens overnight, but the anxiety will pass. It is definitely motivation to make it through every day and a good way to learn patience. It's so great to know you're getting yourself back, good job for pushing through it and I can't wait to be back there too! I never thought anxiety could affect people in this type of debilitating way, weakining people and making them lose themselves and even seem crazy, especially for people that are new to panic attacks and anxiety, like myself. Thanks again for replying!