I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE....

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi guys, it's been a while since I've posted and while my anxiety has improved a bit, things are still a bit off for me, especially when it comes to my career and trying to find myself. I can't seem to get out of my head. I am constantly talking myself out of things and I don't know why. I am into so many things and can't seem to focus on one thing out of the fear of making the wrong decision. I am into art and I'd love to get into doing it professionally/full-time, but I'm scared that I am not good enough and that I won't be successful. I want to start a blog, but I don't know if It would be a waste of time and people won't find me or what I blog about interesting enough. I want to help other people who deal with anxiety, but I can't seem to get myself together. I can't make up my mind about anything and I am only wasting time. It causes me so much distress and I get frustrated with myself. Idk what I want to do with my life. How do I get over this and stop getting in my own way? 

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  • Posted

    I can't help but smile at how much this posts reminds me of myself a year ago smile First of all I love that you're so interested in things and energized to make a contribution to the world! Obviously, you've got to pull back a bit first, and settle into a stable, sustainable rhythm otherwise you won't be able to direct your energies in a focused manner.

    I think we can agree that a strong first step here would be to prioritize your state and mind and equipose over the actual activities that seem so important at any given time. I am not sure what techniques you use in order to relax and get centered but I can tell you what I use... they're really basic but effective!

    1) Heart rate variability training/breathing

    2) Stretching / yoga

    3) Temperature shock therapy (e.g. hot/cold shower, sauna/cold pool)

    There are other little things, and some significant mental models which help me stay balanced, but in general I would say tthat acknowledging that working on yourself before commiting to an external endeavour is a strong move.

    So, what are your current techniques for calming down?

    Cheers,

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    • Posted

      I haven't really done much to calm myself down. I've been dealing with constant muscle tension and kind of lost hope that anything would work. I've tried working out, tried drinking tea. While the tea and hot baths help me relax a bit, it's only temporary. 

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    • Posted

      Well then, sounds like you've gotten a nice start then. There are many people I've talked to that have zero respite from their anxiety, or those who resort to toxic behaviors like drinking alcohol without moderation in order to find peace. The fact that you have identified hot baths and tea, even if their temoporary, is a strong start in my opinion.

      Since one of the issues at hand is your desire to try too many things all at once, I think focusing on the concept of simplicity and simplification will be very powerful for you. Now, in order to simplify your life and the activities performed therein you'll naturally require a sense of prioritization. Therefore let me suggest that you perform the (not so easy) task of prioritizing your ambitions that way you stand a chance at actually seeing them though.

      Stated more simply: what are your priorities from highest to lowest?

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    • Posted

      See that's the thing, I don't know what's most important. However, I do know I need to make money to be able to take care of myself and I'd rather be making money doing something I enjoy rather than work a job that only adds to my anxiety.  Now if you ask me what I enjoy most, that would be painting, then sewing then writing. I also love to volunteer and help improve the lives of others, but the work I do now don't allow me the time to do that. I feel that if I can start a small business and make money doing something I enjoy and set my own hours, then I can make time to volunteer. But I don't know what I should do. Or maybe I do know but I am simply overthinking things. Idk lol 

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    • Posted

      I know this wont be much help but I went though the same thing. The problem for me was that I got to worried about making a choice in general. I simply was over thinking things which caused me to become even more disconnected from the people around me. What you need to do is simply calm down. Your mind is planting false doubt ( do to anxiety symtoms ) and its hard to look past that.
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