I Regret Coming Out About My Depression

Posted , 9 users are following.

So, I’m an 18 y/o girl, been dealing with depression for about 6 months now. I finally had the courage to tell my mom.

I feared she wouldn’t believe I had depression, but she did. However, she didn’t quite understand it. She thought that if I could solve the things causing my depression, I could cure my depression.

I couldn’t explain to her that getting rid of what caused depression won’t cure it. I’m about 400 miles away in college and I told her over text for fear of a full blown phone conversation.

She took it better than I thought, but now keeps asking me if I’m okay and I know she now worries about me. This is one of the main reasons why i didn’t want to tell her, so I told her that for the most part I’m fine and she doesn’t need to worry.

But I can’t help but think I screwed thigngs up because for this whole time, she was okay, and she was thinking everything was fine and no matter what I tell her I know she’s going to worry, now.

All these people telling me that confiding in someone is the first step to treating depression are sort of a joke. Many people told me that there would be a weight lifted off my shoulders just because I got it off my chest. That’s pretty false. I have more weight on my shoulders than  to begin with. I should’ve never told her. I truly believe now that some things are just better kept to yourself.

At this point, I’m just so angry at my life and at myself and I just want the depression to go away. 

Anyone else have experience with this and can help/give me advice? 

I don’t want negative comments.

1 like, 6 replies

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi there. As I was reading your email I kept thinking that life is full of problems money problems, marriage issues, low self esteem problems and on and on. Today for you it's depression. Also I was thinking that I was very depressed and full of anxiety at your age and I didn't know it. What I did know was that something was wrong with me and I didn't know where to go for help but that I was willing to do anything to get better. Now I am a mother and I have a precious daughter like you. And I can't speak for your mother but if my daughter was hurting over anything I would want to know I don't care how much I would worry. For me as a parent that's what I signed on for the days that I worry the days that I'm so proud that I could scream to the heavens. The days that I miss her so much that I want to drive or jump on a plane for just one hug. I'm a mom and that's what mom's do. We worry. I think it speaks so well of you that you are worried about worrying your mom. What a great young lady you are. You have not done anything wrong except acknowledge that you have a problem and you confided in your best friend in the world. Next decide what action you would like to take. As for me I sought therapy and antidepressants. There are no quick fixes that I have found but I am not satisfied without taking action toward finding help for my depression and for me I have found it. I wish you all the luck in the world. I think you are such a brave and highly motivated person.  I admire you! Please keep us posted. Diane

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  • Posted

    Well, i can understand what you have been through. There are a lot of misconception about depression that others used. I want to know more about your problem so if you want to, you can message me or reply to me here. I am willing to help. I had the same problem as you have. The more you worry about it, the worse your depression going to be. I don't want it to happen to you like it to me. |

    Vinh

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  • Posted

    Yes I have felt the same way. I have been dealing with some depression for years, but I didn’t think anyone knew it was as severe as it was until I told my mom a little over a month ago. I just got out of the mental health unit at the local hospital, and even though I really hated being there, it was one of the best things I could have done. It saved my life. How bad is your depression? Are you experiencing any thoughts of self-harm or suicide? Let us know how you are feeling and how we can support you.

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  • Posted

    Your mother loves you more than anything or anyone. Of course, she is going to be concerned for you... It would be very odd if she did not "worry" about you. There must be a therapist at university that you can talk to... I would suggest that route because the guilt ,regret and anger....that you are currently feeling might cause the depression to spiral out of control.   I am praying for you xx 

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  • Posted

    That’s what happened to me. I had been seeing a therapist for years but I was always masking my real feelings and just saying I was fine. Sometimes it’s really hard to talk about these things with your family so I would strongly encourage you to talk to a therapist.
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  • Posted

    Hi a01894 - I bet many if not all here who have revealed their depression can totally empathise with you. It's a tough step and, yes, it changes the way others view you. Suddenly you are "fragile" or "sensitive" and need to be treated with kid gloves. Preversely other will say you are a "malinger" or "a fraud." Some will have all sorts of remedies like "socialise" "start something new" "treat yourself" or other frivilous statements. then there are those that will use it to demean or attack you - "she's dangerous" "he's a liar" "he's violent" or the punch in the face: "get over it."  

    The bell has been rung. You have stated the issue: "...getting rid of what caused the depression won't cure it..." which means that, if you choose the medical route, medications will balance your mood, they will mask what ails you, but in order to recover you will need to dig down inside to find the cause. This will require the support and experience of a professional who will ease your way through self-understanding and a wiser, stronger more resilient you will emerge. You're only 18 - do you know how many of us aging relics would have done anything to have the awareness and availability that is available to you today? How different our lives could have been. we addressed our illness late in life because of the stigma, ignorance and punishment that was the lot of the "mental case" in our day.

    Take the journey. you have a whole life ahead - don't waste it drowning in the black. I hope you are not annoyed at this post. we are not here to judge or hurt you. We are always here to talk. Best of luck whatever you decide.

     

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