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My senior year I had tons of friends and my boyfriend (Wich I still have) this was 2 years ago almost. I had been going to my best friends church and got close to the youth pastor.. my friend got jealous because she had a crush on him. We were 18 and he had just turned 21. She started to get jealous and stuff so she stopped talking to me. Well I me and my current boyfriend took a break from eachother.. during that break I was spending alot of time with my youth pastor and his group of friends. He had always seemed aggressive but it didn't ring me the wrong way until one night he took me home and took advantage of me infront of my house.. I told my bestfriend and she didn't believe me so ( at this point I had dropped out of school) she went to school and told all of our friends I was sphyco so everyone stopped talking to me. Me and my boyfriend were back together and so he's all I've had from then to now. Ever since then I've been overly attached to him because I don't have friends. I have delt with anger issues Wich I never had before and I cry all the time and I never get sleep. I haven't had a job in a couple months and I just feel hopeless. My whole world revolves around my boyfriend because he's the only thing I have to look forward to anymore. We have been together since we were 15 and we're 20 now. Hes about to leave for the airforce and I don't know what I'm going to do. He wants me to get friends and start doing more things so he isn't the only thing I have because he knows it's not normal either. He wants me to be happy and I want to be happy. I've had suicidal thoughts but I know I don't have the guts to do it. I've tried to get jobs nut it just never seems to work out. My car is broken so I'm stuck at the house. So it's like I wake up and wait for him to come save me. I can't live like this anymore, I want to have a normal and happy life with him. We're supposed to get married and move away when he comes back from basic training. But I want to be happy then when we start our new lives. And I don't want to be clung to him like I am. If anyone has advice please say something
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