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So I feel kind of lame and stupid, but i think i might be depressed.
The thing is, I have a good life-----and i'm very grateful for that, but i just don't understand why i feel like life is so pointless all the time? Like i'm not bullied in school (I'm16 years old) and i love my family but i honestly see no point in living. I have thought about dying before and i usually cry myself to sleep. I feel like my family will judge me so much and think i'm pathetic for feeling like this. The thing is sometimes i do say, "well who cares we all die in the end" to my siblings and they usually say "then just die already." Sometimes i wanna die, but i'm scared---- i'm too scared to do it cause i do wanna live but i just find living pointless. I don't have the courage to kill myself and i don't have the courage to change cause i try so so so so hard to be more positive and try not to think about how much i hate myslef and living but its so hard! And what makes me hate myself more is that i have a good, good life so why am i so sad all the time? Why can't i be happy and normal? Why can't i understand these feelings and sometimes my heart just hurts and my eyes sting so much and i just feel like its all pointless but i'm just scared.... and i don't know what to do..
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