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I think I'm giving up.

Posted , 4 users are following.

Fractured121
Fractured121

hi there, first time doing something like this so it may be too brief in what im going to say. I guess I should start from the beginning of it all. July 27 I ended  a 5 year abusive relationship of which I have 3 children. My reason for leaving was I began to talk to my "childhood" love. Since then I've got married and things in my new relationship are amazing. Yet I have a huge dark cloud hanging over me, I have not seen my kids since October as I'm currently fighting court orders and trying to gain the courts help in allowing me to see them. To top this all of I lost my grandad recently and I cannot cope with everything all at once. My wife has done an amazing job at trying to keep me going but as hard as she try's I can't mentally deal with the stress. I feel like giving up crawling into a corner and just sleeping for a very long time. I'm without a job, struggling financially to a point where I'm now just ignoring every bill, letter, phone call. I don't know if this all sounds pathetic, so many have already said"deal with it" or "it will work out" that at every point where I may feel happy something drags me down. I also feel angry to a point of where I want to kick the crap out of every wall or every door in my home. I'm trying I really am but I just can't deal with everything and it all hurts so much.

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • evergreen
    evergreen Fractured121

    Posted

    I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I am not sure whether you are being treated for depression, but the way you are feeling is what anyone would feel with the amount of stress you are under. I can't suggest anything practical to help you, but just wanted you to know that I hope that you manage to get to see your children. It must be a total nightmare for you. At least you have a loving wife to support you.
  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 Fractured121

    Posted

    Hello I am sorry to hear your struggling. Have you thought about Counselling, it is non judgemental and confidential. This will give you time to talk about your feelings. It also sounds like your suffering depression as depression is anger which you are finding difficult to express. I think paying a visit to the GP would be a start to disscuss your options and maybe some medication. It sounds like your wife is being very supportive which is good. I hope you get to see your children soon as this is not good for you or them. Hope this helps.

    Best wishes.

    Elizabeth. 

  • anne240
    anne240 Fractured121

    Posted

    I think you are very strong to write here. 

    You don't say whether you have been diagnosed with depression. 

    You are very lucky to have a supportive wife, which I am sure helps a great deal.  So many people have no support. 

    No of course it does not sound pathetiuc.  I understand as I have had depression for nearly 30 years, so understand exactly how you feel.  Everyone of this forum has depression so you will get support here. 

    Can you tell us if your have seen a doctor or psychiatrist and if you are seeing a counsellor or are on medication.

  • celtics
    celtics Fractured121

    Posted

    hi fractured you really been throught a lot really ! your wife sounds like a strong lady who wants to see you get well and is sticking around ! you have so much to live for and doing anything else wouldnt solve anything ! have to been to see your doctor recently about how you feel if not it might. be a good idea im unsure of were you resided so i dont know.of any financial assistance that may be available ! please take care and cherish thoughts around you who you can trust david !
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