Posted , 4 users are following.
I give birth on Saturday I felt I was having palps so took my pulse it was in low 50s again took it said 40 so thought must be exhaustion as I was laid up feeding my baby I never mentioned it to the nurses as it's a phone app anyways before I left I got a ecg due to mentioning the palps which the doctor said is sinus arrhythmia ( normal ) he explained about valves ect and also told me sometimes they can't pick everything up on ecgs and if it carries on to go to my go for a full check up ect I wasn't at all anxious I felt really calm and I was fine .
I got home felt crap for a few days then gradually starting to feel human well we are on day 5 since baby been born and today went from amazing to absolutely horrible basically I went out shopping cleaned the house I felt so full of energy for once and like me ! I got home and my anxiety about blood clot starts playing up I have yellow phelm and I coughed and a blood clot tiny little thing was init I've coughed up stuff like this before due to sinus infection ect so I shouldn't of worried but as I've been put on fragmin ( due to giving birth to my third child apparently your more at risk of dvt) that put it in my mind that I have a dvt so I start crying and all night been very angry with my poor partner and very emotional crabby and all in all a horrible person when he's been perfect I then tonight take my temp which keeps going from 34 to 35 (35 is my average temp normally ) so I thought I'll take my pulse too just because it brings up oxygen and I felt like I couldn't breathe right well my pulse was 45 ! Panicking I did it about 50 times for the highest it to go was 60 I started having a panic attack and still it stayed 52 bpm while I'm shaking like a leaf my partner says I'm shaking so much I'm going to make him bring his tea up instead of laughing like I normally do I was horrible and snappy to him now I can't stop crying I feel like I'm going to leave my babies without a mother I can picture it clearly and I'm absolutely petrified !
How is it I felt amazing to now having a low heart rate and low temp and generally panicking every five minutes I'm now back to Googling and checking my pulse every minute I'm exhausted my eyes are rolling back for sleep but instead I'm too busy checking my heart and temp I need to be alert for my beautiful family but I won't be able to if I'm in a anxious state I don't even know what I'm asking boot wanting but I think this is it for me I am actually dieing I'm now even panicking over the kids getting poorly or hurt ect I can't stop my mind from worrying I can't enjoy life when my life had just become so perfect 😭
1 like, 19 replies