I think I may be manic

Posted , 5 users are following.

i could write a book on my mental health history which has spanned over years and started with anorexia in my teenage years. Having suffered domestic abuse over several years I finally snapped  and had a full on breakdown in 2004. I had to leave my job and became so depressed I attempted suicide twice but failed.  Then I became a full on marriage wrecker taking pleasure out of seducing other people’s husbands just to prove that all men are bast**ds obviously lost my friends and again everythingvspiralled out of control. I’ve had codnitive therapy psychotherapy strong medication and now I find myself in so much debt I don’t know which way to turn. Everything in my life seems to have been like a downward spiral and I think I may have come to the very bottom

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  • Posted

    Hi Julie,

    I’m sorry to hear how much you’ve struggled. 

    Firstly, why do you believe your manic? As the title suggests. If you are having manic episodes but are treated for just depression then the medication may not have been correct for your symptoms. You may need a stabilizer. You may even have a mixed episode where you feel both manic but low in mood. It’s typical of someone with bipolar disorder.

    Please go chat to your GP, however we are always here to listen too smile xx 

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  • Posted

    Julie - I have bipolar II which was misdiagnosed as depression for many years - or it got worse on its own and became more apparent. My life has been riddled with impulsive, destabilizing decisions around where I live. I will up and move somewhere without thinking enough about it. Now I am thinking about it and any move I make still seems like a wrong one - like there is no place for me. I feel the same - like a downward spiral with some good times in there somehow. Still trying to figure out where to live. I often wake up thinking I am at some bottom, but all we can deal with is today and I try and make today a good one in spite of my past and my mental health challenges. Best to you!
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    • Posted

      thank you fir your reply. I’m either full of anger full of tears or the loudest person in the room ( I like her because she’s full of confidence and right up there) but I’ve been told for so long I’m just low mood and to take the tablets by day and zopiclone by night. I’m so sick of living this way 
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  • Posted

    Hello Julie. There are no winners in mental health. That's my opinion. I hope you will forgive me for putting words in your mouth but I don't think that you woke up one morning and decided to start wrecking people's marriages and making  other mistakes. Did you.? If I understand correctly that happened after a full breakdown. Now I have had family members that I love and adore that have had breakdowns and it was in the day when we didn't have these great meds that we have today. Back to you I do not think that you get over that overnight. You are not ignoring your issues you're in therapy trying to help yourself. Way to go! Some day you must let go of the "guilt" that is breaking your heart! Julie be kind to yourself and give yourself some time to grieve your losses. That includes your childhood and the losses due to your mental issues. I am so thankful that you are still here. Diane

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much. I felt empowered being able to steal other people’s lives away from them just because mine was so awful and yes I wanted to say look men are evil but I liked that woman I actually liked the power she had. Now I’m so down feel sick with guilt and have the biggest debt problems imaginable. I worry so much because my son who is in the military tells me he is having similar feelings to my own and I’ve caused that 
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  • Posted

    Julie what do the doctors say about your being manic and what is your diagnosis? Diane
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    • Posted

      They have only ever given me anti depressants diazapham and sleeping pills fir years I did undertake a two year psychotherapy treatment but the pills just keep coming and I feel worse than ever
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  • Posted

    Hi I wonder if you are bi polar too?  I haven't got this but know 2 of the main symptoms are risk taking and serial sleeping round is common as is gambling and ending up in debt.

    I think you need to see your doctor and tell her/him and ask for a referral to a counsellor.  You may have a wrong diagnosis of just depression.x

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  • Posted

    Julie I agree with hypercat. And the other thing about bi polar is that it can take many years for some people to get a proper diagnosis. Good luck. We will be here for you. Diane
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