I think I might be depressed

Posted , 7 users are following.

I think I might be depressed and I don't know what to do and how to tell my mother about it.

im 14 years old and I know that teens go through that teenager stage where they feel sad all the time or something but this is different.

i get so upset over anything and I've been feeling like this for 1-2years now, I go around school and I'm happy and I don't stop laughing but as soon as I go home the happiness disappears, I automatically feel sad and I just go to bed and don't leave unless my mother calls me for food. When I'm in my room all I do is listen to music and literally cry, I cry for hours and hours and if my parents ask I say I've been to sleep or something along them lines. In year 9(I'm in year 10 now) I used to self harm really badly, the cuts went from the top of my leg down to not far off my knee and they were all up my arms, the only thing that stopped my was my mother because she used to always go nuts about cutting and make threats so I stopped as soon as she got supicious. Now all I do is stay in and cry, I go to sleep at 4am and wake up at 7-8am the same day. My insercureties take over me, where ever I walk my heads down I keep quiet and hide my hands with my sleves. Where ever I go it feels like people are judging me, I can't sit in my class room without feeling chrostophobic and my head spins I over think it all and I just can't deal with it. The worst part of it all is how lonely I feel and the amount of times I think about suicide. I feel like there's nobody here for me no matter how many people say they are there for me I'm still alone and I can't talk to anyone about how I feel so I keep it all bottled up until the night and then I cry it out or I'll go in the shower and cry until it is just not possible for me to cry anymore. And with suicide, it goes through my mind 24/7, I see things around me and I just think about different ways on how I can use that to end my life, like I'm on tablets and I researched how many I had to take to overdose and I had to then stop myself from taking them for a couple days because I would just stare at them and think how easy it would be to take my life and quick it would go by. I seriously think I need help but I don't know how to explain all this to my mother because I know she won't understand me and I just can't talk to anyone about it. I'm scared and I feel so lost, but I'm not. It's like I'm lost in my own head and I feel empty and confused and I just need help, please someone help me, I don't know what to do anymore and I really just give up with everything I'm even crying writing out this, please I just need help.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Britney,  How awful for you at such a young age to be feeling like this. Have you a school counsellor or head teacher that you could speak to about how you are feeling and then maybe they could help you talk to your mum. I am sure if your mum knew how much you were suffering she would want to help you. Or is it possible you could go to your GP i am not sure what age you can attend on your own thou so check this out. Please seek help, there must be something deep that's affecting you, you may not even know what that is, but you need to talk to someone you can trust. Keep with this forum as people here will try and support you so don't dissapear. 

    Best wishes.

    Elizabeth.

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  • Posted

    Britney please talk to your mum, if your not sure how she will take the news have you another relative who you feel you can talk to and who can then sit in with you when you talk to your mum. Please also consider talking to a teacher that you might get on with if that seems better for you.

    As Elizabeth has said there is also your doctor to talk to. Main thing is to talk/let people know how your feeling. As I've said to other people if you don't think you can talk to people, show them what you have written in your post.

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  • Posted

    Hello Britney,  I am so sorry that you are feeling these awful moments,my heart and prayers go out to you.  Have you thought about talking to your school counselor,or your mothers best friend, in other words , another adult close to your mom, If all of this fails, please consider talking to your pastor or your youth pastor. if you do not attend any church,  the doors are always open,  expecially to young people who need answers. God Bless, Sally
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  • Posted

    Hello Britney.  Bless you young lady.  I am so sorry you are feeling so low.

    I am a grasndmother and would hope that if my grandaughter could not speak to her mum she could chat to me.  It would be really nice if you could tell your mum how you are feeling.  Have you another close relative who would understsnd, or a school counsellor?  You need to tsalk to someone who can understsand how you are feeling, and gicve you some advice.  Please don't try to cope with this alone dear. 

    Depression is a very lonely place to be, I know, because that is how I feel, and I am an old lady.  It worries me so much that you are going through this all alone. 

    You say you are on tablets.  What are they for?  Are they anti depressants from the doctor?  I am sure your mum would understand Britney.  Can you not try and talk to her?  That is what mums are for.  I would be very upset if I thought a daughter of mine was going through this alone.  You say your mum would not understand, but maybe you should give her the chance.  If not, then I understsnd, but as I say, please don't cope with this burden alone.  You are so young, and I am worrying now about you. 

    We here will listen and make suggestions, but I am sure we all agree that you should share this burden, especiually with a relative or counsellor, or a doctor.

    Depression is a lonely place, and we have to reach out.

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  • Posted

    hi britney

    i suffered from depressions from the age of 11, making my first attempt of suicide at 12. battled eating disorders and self harm all the way through my school years and my mother never batted and eye to it.

    i felt lost and alone, i would sit in my room and isolate myself from friends i let this continue until i was 21 when i finally got help.

    if you feel this way that seek help, i understand it can be hard to talk to parents, and that they may not understand but there will always be other people who can help you.

    alot of schools have one on one mentors who can talk to you.

    you can see a dr (they have patient confidentuality) 

    or there are many self help forums like this online.

    this is a big network on here with hundreds of people feeling the same way.

    just because your young doesnt mean that you dont still have feelings or that your mental health doesnt matter because it does!

    and you matter!

    if you would like to talk to me (im a 21 y/o girl)

    then please feel free to message me and i am more than willing to give you advice and listen to your problems, alot of people have done that for me and it has helped alot.

    i hope you start to feel better soon.

    xxx

     

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  • Posted

    it is hard today the presure thats put upon teenagers i am a mother of 3 my 2 eldest are in there 20s so i do have experience with teenagers you really need to speak to your parents or someone you feel you can talk to it is very important not to leave this you are obvisiouly crying out for help if you would like me to talk to you more i will but try and tell your parents how you are feeling maybe your mum may already know let me know

     

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