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I think im reading too many stories and scaring myself..

Posted , 8 users are following.

shawnalb
shawnalb

I just love the support here,  but i sit and read all this and i wanna cry my eyes out.  I know we are all different but i can have what i feel are my own peri experiences and then read someone else’s and start feeling theirs too?  Is it power of suggestion?  im so upset tonight i cant hardly believe ill ever be ok again.  I read one persons nightmare and feel so scared ill do same or am doing same and afraid its gonna get worse in meno?  im like two mo away from my 12 mo.  (second time) i think i do better than some i read are feeling really sick and  desperate but then i wonder if im in denial that what i feel might be considered bad to another and im not getting help i need because im trying to be tough and not take hormones.  my work suffers because i cannot get up in am.  i feel like ive just come out feom under anesthesia! lol  i have to set up first then set side of bed then get up slowly and sometimes im like . “ heck no”  and lay back down.  im running on zero and then i get upset i have to work like this, my leave is gone and i have no choice.  it’s backed me in a corner and i feel threatened.  getting sad makes me more lethargic to boot.  im 49 and single w no 2nd income.  im sorry for whining.  i have 31 yrs in gov and i just wanna retire and get myself together again physically and emotionally sooo bad.

5 likes, 28 replies

28 Replies

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  • sarah05599
    sarah05599 shawnalb

    Posted

    Hi shawnalb.

    Can you not take some sick leave to try and give you some time to yourself to see if it helps, My job was making everything much worse as my employer is totally awful and lacking in understanding and compassion so I had no choice even though I cannot afford to but I needed to see how I was away from my awful job and in my case whether my job was making the dark cloud over me worse. I'm on hrt this is my 3rd week but not sure if its doing anything, felt great yest normal then today feel low so not sure. I hope you find some relief soon.

    • shawnalb
      shawnalb sarah05599

      Posted

      no  no sick days left!  i accumulate some each pp but ive had to use them.  Im screwed coming and going.  :-)   No but really i just need to vent.  i am tryin so hard  maybe too hard and thinking too much?!
  • Guest
    Guest shawnalb

    Posted

    We have some things in common.  I’m 47 and work full time with no second income.  I’ve also read some of the posts here before and dreaded that those symptoms could happen for me.  I have appreciated a great amount of support here.  However, I find at times that this forum feeds my tendency to overanalyze what is happening to me and sometimes to try to take care of things myself that need a doctor’s expertise.  I have also tended to write a lot here when lonely and really wished I had the company of friends or family in person.  Lately, I am posting less and reaching out more to people within my immediate environment.  Everyone’s situation is different, but I think that writing online is just keeping me in my shell and contributing to feeling more isolated.  Whatever you need to feel better, I do hope you find it soon.  
    • shawnalb
      shawnalb Guest

      Posted

      yes i over analyze because im afraid to miss anything i guess.  i need to quit and let be what will be.  It feels very unnatural to not worry!  Like i have given up.  I attribute worrying to caring and if i quit worrying then i am not caring anymore and that scares me
    • lori93950
      lori93950 shawnalb

      Posted

      Well from my experience .... I’m impatient I hate waiting and want fast results ! With this ‘stuff’ it takes time ... you start thinking the summers almost over and been sat here just trying to get better. The months go by .... but this is what it takes...  patience . Then I try to think of people who have it worse ...hang in there and try not to obsess about symptoms you don’t have .... you may just glide through this and think .... why was I worrying . 
    • shawnalb
      shawnalb lori93950

      Posted

      i know  i know! im like a broken record.  Im so sorry ladies.  Its like power of suggestion is really messing with me.  How in the world do you read something and then actually feel  that symptom?  its nuts  
    • lori93950
      lori93950 shawnalb

      Posted

      You have to stop worrying ! I didn’t even know what Peri was really and I suffered for years . No dr ever said all your panic and anxiety could be hormones ? 

      Not everybody has it bad and at least you’ll be well informed if something does happen and you can get on it right away instead of wasting months like I have . 

      Mine started with just feeling really lazy not being able to get out of bed then came  the dizziness and fatigue . 

      You will probably sail through it so don’t create problems and worry about something that hasn’t happened yet ! 

  • audra86673
    audra86673 shawnalb

    Posted

    When I first came on this forum I was the same! I would see a poster say menopause is even worse than peri and a little piece of me would just flip out! I'd think, No, no, no... it just couldn't be worse than peri! I won't survive if that's the case! That was many months ago. Like you, I'm only 2 months away from being full on menopause. I've had many debilitating and weird symptoms and been to many many dr.'s only to be told again and again I'm totally healthy! I have found that I am feeling better and more like my old self the closer I get to what is hopefully, soon to be the end of  Perimenopause for me! When I think about the possibility that things would actually be worse in menopause because some posters have commented about it, I remind myself that most women that feel fine in menopause are probably not on this forum! They are busy living their life and feeling totally fine. 

    • shawnalb
      shawnalb audra86673

      Posted

      true! i hope more feel good than not! i am opposite, i sit and suffer with worry and wont go dr because i know they dont listen and its a wasteod money and stressful tests to learn nothing.
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