I’ve been depressed for 3 months and think that this causes me to feel asexual sometimes

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I am a seventeen nearly eightteen year old male. I've come to the conclusion with my parents that I am depressed. My mother has had her fair share of depression aswell so I think it's genetic. I'm seeing a therapist now to help me get over it but it hasn't helped me all that much. My problem is that sometimes I don't feel love for anything. I just feel nothing. I am straight I'm quite sure of that but still at these moments when I don't feel anything (I call them 'blowbacks') I can not feel anything for a girl aswell. At these moments I can't see myself loving anyone or feeling attracted to any gender, I feel

asexual. During these 'blowbacks' my heart starts to beat super fast, I feel very nervous and get panic attacks and when I'm alone I start to scream and cry because I don't know what is happening to me and it freaks me out, a lot. So much so that I get very suicidal during these blowbacks which last for 10 to 30 minutes. I am worried one 'blowback' will never go away. or that I will have these reocurring feelings of numbness and asexuality for the rest of my life. Is this a common problem? Does depression cause this? Will it always be here or will these feelings go away? I just want to love someone again. With all my heart.

Ben

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  • Posted

    Hi

    benkleijberg

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

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  • Posted

    You need to speak to someone regardless, either a doctor or another health professional. It sounds like your struggling to cope. Good luck, hope you get the support you need.

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  • Posted

    what your describing sounds very normal but you sound as though you;re having a hard time with all the horrid symptoms and needs help from the crisis team

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  • Posted

    Hi bemkleijberg - a lack of sex drive and an indifference to others are symptomatic of depression. You say you are receiving therapy which is good, have you seen the doctor about medication? Meds can help balance your mood and are tool used with psychotherapy to deal with any underlying issues. You state that your mother has had depression too - did she take anything for it?

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    • Posted

      Hi wayne1962,

      Thanks for replying, I really appreciate it. Yes, my mother took a lot of pills at her worst periods but I was so young back then I don't really know what kind of pills. Nowadays she's taking I think 2 kinds of pills, one is vitamin D, the other one I don't know.

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  • Posted

    Hiya, one of the effects of depression is the loss of feeling towards people/things. I know it's hard but you need to concentrate on understanding your feelings about yourself before you can help anyone else with theirs. Depression aside, your age alone is a confusing/defining time of your life. Sometimes dealing with what seems the lesser of importance can have a bigger effect than you realise. I wish you all the luck and success in your journey x

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  • Posted

    Hi screaming and crying only makes you feel worse. These symptoms are normal with depression and nothing to be scared of. If they happen again learn some breathing exercises which will calm you down. Remember they aren't permanent nor will they do you any harm. x

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  • Posted

    Hello my names Leela.

    Many many people would be heartbroken if they knew how you're suffering, including me ! And i dont even know you personally but so many of us feel or felt that same way you do now. So we are all in it together. You are not alone. Just ask for help. I feel much better now. I just wish Id asked for help sooner.

    Call your emergency services for a chat and some advice. Call the emergency services and you will realise just how loved you really are...to people who dont even know you personally !

    Whenever i felt suicidal i called the emergency services. They always gave me so much love, attention, help and diagnosed me with depression.

    But however if you're not feeling suicidal then call someone to talk to however hard it is you need to force yourself to get help. Go chat to your doctor. If you dont have a good one then find yourself a big doctors surgery with lots to choose from. That's what i did.

    Now i'm happily on anti-depressants (happy pills) because i didnt have enough happy cells in my brain so i had to top them up. I had panic attacks and they cured them. I had insomnia and they cured that. I had to try out various medicine combos till i found the right one for me but I feel much better now. I just wish Id asked for help sooner. You may need to see your doctor again to increase your medicine or try a new or extra medicine.

    Also they let me try out all different kinds of therapy (one to one or group therapy) to help me feel better and learn to love myself and forgive myself for all the mistakes i'd made in my life.

    Lots and lots of sympathetic hugs from your new friend Leela Davis xxx

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