I've been depressed for 5 months, any help?

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This is my first post here, 5 months ago i came to barcelona to study, i still dont have any friends, i dont want to, my girlfriend of 2 years which i loved more than anything in the world left me, now she is seeing another guy, i live alone and im not doing well in school because of this sadness. I didnt want to accept it but yes, im depressed, a lot, i dont know what to do, i just feel so lonely and miss my ex, and i dont have the power to change this. Im a wreck...

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Kent,

    I feel for you mate, I have been in that situation many years ago, depression and anxiety can really break you, I've been there. The problem is you need to get over that barrier, you're probably thinking it's easy for him to say, well not really - Depression and anxiety can cause other problems like huge traumas, you won't know it until it's too late.

    I've seen people and what its done to them, believe me a big enough traumatic experience can damage the nervous system. I have met people before whom have gone this far, and they wished they had help before letting the depression and anxiety break them down.

    I would suggest you first see a doctor, and tell them how you feel, I know that can be very difficult at first, but its a start, if your not very good with your own doctor ask to see one that you know. To a doctor, it is obvious that depression is there, but remember they are there to help you out of this low, believe me sinking lower in to a trauma can have devastating results, and many nerve disorders actually start from this sort of thing. It may seem hard to believe, but you would be surprised by how many people end up with nerve conditions/disorders.

    Regards,

    Les.

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  • Posted

    Yep.. same feelings with my ex fiencee from 2011.

    I'l dump a bit of my experience and hope you can see something can happen.

    We were really GREAT partners so I thought. We did everything.

    I thought we fitted in like a gear mesh. BUT we had bits missing.

    Now: I don't talk to her. I try to avoid her. Its not that I dislike her, but i'm over the dread, that comes with thinking about her being in the same area as her.

    She may or may not have another boyfriend - mate - at least you KNOW.- thats a constant. Something better than me.

    I've had more time than you.. I have not exactly moved on, more got sick of being where I am. So I changed location.

    I've found you DO have the power to change things, just that you don't know what to change yet. So start writing stuff down. something will make some sense at some stage and you will have found something to DO about the relationship.

    I re-met had a fling with her 3 months after the breakup. It really hurt cause it felt really wrong.

    My good Psych said 'Hey, youre not Robinson Crusoe" You don't know if its over or not.. so ask her. So I did and she said something like "almost certainly not" was her words. I got something concrete to work off, and I felt my shoulders slump as the pressure came from me.

    It'l happen. one thing will be resolved and you will find something else to discover.

    Hope you get there faster than I did smile

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  • Posted

    I sincerely thank you my fellow friends. And yes, I know that many of these advices are more easily said than done. I was always a cheerful person and very happy about my life, then everything came crushing down at once. Im also in the middle of exam season, I always dreamt about going to this school in Germany, but I needed very good grades this first semester... im gonna fail 4/5 of my subjects and there's no turning back. There goes my dream. Flashing in front of my eyes. And it's my fault cause I allowed myself to hit rock bottom and didn't have the guts to do something about this. I never thinked of myself that I would need to see a doctor for this kind of problems, really. These days I was thinking about getting some pills, I dont know, whatever. I can't sleep and I can't concentrate. I just miss the old me but I'm not seeing any way of getting him back. I don't know if time will fix this this gap i have, but if it doesn't... well, I don't want to think about that...
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    • Posted

      Kent - and others who think that exams are the be and end all.

      I am a Technical Library Manager - not exactly what I want, I.T. is my forte but they outsourced it so I had to swap. HOWEVER, I'm on $74k a year, in a cleanish environment, yeah theres personality pressure, but not like some others.

      How did I get there? (Im in Australia) Well when I did my final school exams, they were out of 500 - i got 128 / 500 yep 1 3 8 if my calculator is right thats 27% .. I got 30% for maths.

      I went to TAFE which is a group of further studies colleges, and started getting 68% for maths - why? cause instead of a board of meaningless numbers, I was presented with a scenario like OK you have a piston, the crank shaft moves it 100cm, the width of the piston ring is 120cm, so what angle will be the connecting rod have to be so it doesn't hit the cylinder lining. Its actually Pythagoras theorem that I didn't learn in school.

      The change was from writing and theory to pictures and technical. BIG difference.

      I've noticed my brothers gifriends son is the same way - he's 14 and prefers 'application' based training, not out of the book. I can read manuals on how to build a 18 cylinder diesel engine, but cannot read a small book on programming, even if i've been programming the same stuff for 10 years.

      1. There different ways of learning - you need to find yours.

      2. exams are an indication - if you find the right place to work, they will treat you on MERIT, ie give you a job, and find that you care enough to get it right and ask questions, instead of "Doctor of Mechanics" who thinks he can walk up to something and flip switches and it will work.

      HTH and good luck finding the right career and training institution. smile

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    • Posted

      The reason why I got so low marks was I had my first real crush on a girl during the final yeara of school, and I felt everything was going to explode with the pressure, I was no good for her cause I was failing school etc etc.. same. for a LONG time, 30 years I believe that, like sliding "doors movie" I should have gone the other way. the other way was the RIGHT way.. Terry Pratchett puts it like travelling down the other leg of a pair of trousers .. "Trousers of Time" HOWEVER, I am now thinking that it would have been different only.

      Whats to say cause you didn't go to Germany, you stayed where you are and found a job that made a difference like you found that some process was failing that no one noticed so it was fixed - by you.

      Maybe In Germany, you would have joined 1000s of others in high pressure jobs and turned out to be like Dilbert - a grud in a partition office.

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