I've been depressed nearly 5 year

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I've been depressed for about 5 year now and I've kept it hidden all this time from my family and friends even my wife. She knows now but it's too late I've pushed her too much with the way I've been treating her been angry all the time not been able to trust her even though she wouldn't do anything anyway but that's not what my mind was saying. She would be talking to me and she would ask me what has she just said and I wouldn't know a couldn't make any decisions I would do things and I couldn't explain why I did what I done now she has left me forget about for in sickness and in health I've hit rock bottom to the point where I'm lying here with a bottle of rum and quite a few boxes of tablets next to me if only my wife would understand that I didn't mean to treat her like that

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  • Posted

    Leslie first things first. Don't take pills! Don't talk to me. You can always try to talk and tell your wife the truth it's not to late to at least explain you have been depressed for years and could not tell her. Are you hearing me?? No pills! Diane

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    • Posted

      She doesn't seem to understand that the way I was treating her was something I was struggling to control .the constant fear. My mind playing tricks it would drive me mad now I've lost everything because of this struggle i endour every day .I've moved the tablets

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    • Posted

      Leslie that is good that you have moved the tablets! You always have hope if you stay alive!! Right? Thanks for getting back to us to me! Maybe she needs a minute to get her thoughts together or to think on her own which gives you time to work on you. That is important and "you" are important. What are you doing now? Diane 

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    • Posted

      Hi Leslie and what comes to your mind as to why you are so depressed? Have you ever gone to a doctor or thought about getting on some medicine an antidepressant that is what I have done. Five years is a long time to be depressed and stuck. What are your thoughts about that? Diane
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    • Posted

      It started when my youngest was born in couldn't get my wife to the labour room on time because the doors were locked she had the baby standing up in the corridor and i panicked luckily one of the midwifes opened the doors in time and caught the baby just in time now I've struggled with the fact I had one job to do and I failed plus I struggled when I had to put my grandmother in a home the woman who brought me up due to dementia having to walk away from her while she was crying begging me to take her with me that hit me hard. Ive just started taking citalopram

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  • Posted

    Hey don't be so hard on yourself as people get things wrong all the time you know even with the best of intentions.  That's because we are human!  I don't think your reasons for depression was caused by your wife giving birth and your grandmother but they were a trigger for it.  Realistically you didn't fail at anything - you did what you could and your best.  Best is best even if it's bad.  No one can expect more of you than that,

    What would you say to a friend whom these things had happened to?  Would you call them a failure?  No of course you wouldn't,  you have to learn to be your own best friend.

    I think counselling could help you to dig out your real issues and assist you in resolving them.  There is help out there and you just have to access it.  x

     

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    • Posted

      He goes. I have a big nose and ever since I can remember I've been bullied picked on names called right up until now even by my own family which has caused me low self esteem and confidence through out my life

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    • Posted

      This has caused huge problems with my wife. I see my self as ugly and my wife on the other hand I would say she is beautiful and I've been waiting for someone better looking to sweep her of her feet .I'd be almost expecting it and it would drive me mad

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  • Posted

    Hi making fun of others says a lot more about them than about you.  I am sure your family don't know how much it hurts you when they make fun of your nose.  Have you ever told them?  If not then you need to as they are not mind readers.  Next time someone mentions your nose tell them that they are nasty/stupid/ugly etc.  but you can get an op to fix your nose smile   Trust me it works.  Or if they keep talking about it ask them why they are so obsessed with it?  I did this to someone who kept mentioning my fairly rough elbows coz she was hacking me off.  She has never mentioned it again. 

    Or tell people a big nose means character or that you are more intelligent.  Once people can see it doesn't upset or wind you up they will mainly stop.  They say attack is the best form of defence after all.  I have a badly scarred skin from acne and you can imagine the many hurtful comments I have had from men all my life.  I have a lot less now coz I hold my head up high more.  I also tell them to p.... o... or say 'You are getting a bit personal aren't you'?  You haven't got to take it you know!  x

     

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