I've been depressed since I was 13 years old

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I've been depressed since I was 13 years old I started to hear voices but didn't think any think of it. But now I'm 28 I still hear these nasty voices which they tell to hurt people and myself I've try 8 time to kill myself. And been in hospital twice. I keep telling my husband that i my going to kill him I smack him and other stuff he wants me to be sectioned but the hospital say I don't need it. But I don't feel safe at home and I'm going to keep trying to kill myself. Until they listening

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi how awful for you.   I presume you are on ad's,  aren't they helping?  Are you currently having counselling  too? 

    Is your diagnosis depression?  I thought hearing voices is more sympamatic of perhaps another mental disorder instead?   Do you think you have the right diagnosis?   

    Please don't try and kill yourself again - if you are in crisis then you must go straight to ER and tell them how you are feeling,  From what you are saying you want help rather than trying to kill yourself but you might succeed in doing this by mistake.  It is a very dangerous game you are playing so please stop. 

    You don't have to be sectioned to be admitted to hospital you know.  You can admit yourself as a voluntary patient,  though I don't know what the answer is if the hospital won't admit you.  I know though if you go to the doctors and tell them you have a plan to kill yourself they will have to take action.  Is that worth a try?  

    It is very sad that it is so very difficult these days to get help isn't it?   But please keep trying,  your husband can help with this as well.

    I am thinking of you and praying you get the help you need and deserve. 

    Bev x

     

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    I can identify on some levels in that I've had depression since I was 14 and now in my mid 20s with little real recovery.

    What worries me is the voices you are hearing. Have you had a formal diagnosis on this? Are the voices like other voices or more your internal voice that you can't "switch off"? I think if its the former you may be suffering from something more than "just" depression. I'm obviously not a medical professional but I think this needs some further exploration so you can get the proper treatment you need.

    Also, when you say you're going to keep trying to kill yourself until they listen, this sounds like rather than a genuine wish to kill yourself, you want others to know how strongly, how badly you are feeling.

    I faked self harming once to get my dr's attention because I was so desperate for help and I thought it was the only way they'd take me seriously. Needless to say it wasn't my finest moment. But I understand that all consuming need to get others to understand how bad you feel.

    If it is a genuine wish to commit suicide, all I can say is please, please don't. Life is so precious.

    I've had a totally awful time of late and found myself drinking to extreme, I came on here and these lovely people talked to me and I'm pleased to say I've now stopped and in reality it was all down to the honesty you can express on these forums and the support that results.

    So please, keep talking, keep telling us your story.

    The world will not be a better place without you in it, your husband won't be happier, everyone will be desperately sad that you were so desperately sad.

    You need more support and you obviously aren't getting it.

    Do you take meds? Do you have any psychological support or counselling or psychiatrists or any other mental health professionals?

    Unfortunately with this illness you often have to fight for the care you need which is ridiculous as its often when you are at your lowest and least able to seek out and push for the help you need to get better.

    Please confide in your husband, speak to your dr, the Samaritans, continue to post on here, and if you really do feel like you will harm yourself get to a&e, call an ambulance, do something because your life is worth a lot. You are worthy of a good life.

    Please take care,

    Much love and best wishes xxx

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  • Posted

    Please Vikki my love, you must get some help...two if my son's were diagnosed schizophrenic but with help and medication they are well now...you must go to a and e..and make them REALLY LISTEN TO YOU, JUST HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE...

    They have a duty to you to give you your right of care...

    Take somebody with you who can back you up...it is a shameful situation when you are not given the help needed..

    Can you phone your crisis team and tell them if they do not come out to visit you...it will be on their heads. ( and conscience ) if anything !! Happens to you.

    It makes me so angry the way you are being treated, we all need help when we are vulnerable ..please !! Make them listen to you...big hugs, I wish you sooo much luck...take care...DEIRDRE ccx

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  • Posted

    Hi just want to add this.  My sister's  bf was suffering from depression and other long term mental health problems.  He couldn't get anyone to take him seriously so he jumped in front of a van and injured himself.  He now walks with a limp and suffers a bad back.   So as well as his mental health problems he also has quite a number of physical ones as well. 

    Please don't end up like him.  

    I know someone else too whose brother tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the top window of a house.  He didn't kill himself but he did end up a paraplegic for life.   Awful.  

    Please get help before you do manage to really hurt yourself.  Bev x

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    • Posted

      Oh must add this too.  An acquaintance used to be a nurse and one day this young man came in suffering from a paracetomol overdose.  When he came round he was very pleased to be saved and said how much he wanted to live.  Unfortunately he had caused massive internal injuries and died 3 days later.  Can you imagine that?  x
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  • Posted

    Vikki, if you cannot get the help you need directly from our mental health services or your doctor, please call the Mind Organisation.

    Their telephone number is available through Google.

    Just explain the nature of your problem to them, and I am fairly confident that they will be able to give you some solid advice, and point you in the right direction.

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  • Posted

    Surly you need home treatment team if your in the UK. U need help and you can get it push for this ASAP
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  • Posted

    HI Vikki... how are you feeling this morning, I hope that you maybe are a little better...you were...and still are in my thoughts...HUGS TO YOU...DEIRDRE xxx
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  • Posted

    HI lovey...home treatment would be a very good idea...keep on and on and on..until they listen to you

    .huge hugs..DEIRDRE xxx

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    • Posted

      I'm with home treatment and your case seems worse then mine so u should get this. Not that I find them much help but least they have to keep trying to get me better but it the moment it's just a upping of meds with awful side effects . Iv pnd and servre anxiety GAD
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  • Posted

    i remember i tried hanging myself at the age of 11, and my mum caught me, and she totally beat me black n blue, i hav always hated my mum, an my family members thats cared about me, have moved on thru suicide, i gets voices in my head telling me to join them, and there's no hope for me in this world, how ever i do have a fantastic gp and support worker, n feel i cant take my life, as i promised my dr. i wouldnt whilst under her care, for your husband to stay with you, he must love you very much
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  • Posted

    hi vikki, I just wondered if you have had an assessment ? I presume you have a diagnosis if you have been accessing services. Is your partner concerned for his safety ? I think it's very important that you talk to someone really soon and explain what's happening. Just to say that sometimes a voice that is nasty is sometimes your own internal voice that is Talking how you feel. So a hatred for yourself may come out as you should harm yourself ( this is not always true but sometimes is ) violence to yourself or someone else is never right as you are probably aware. I urge you to get some help as soon as you can .

    take care

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