I've been wondering for a while on whether I'm depressed or being obsessed/ silly

Posted , 3 users are following.

I don't really know what to say. So, I'll say a bit about myself. I'm 15, a Pisces I go to a grammar school and I'm deemed as a good student.

For the past 2 months I've felt really down, confused and anxious. I've cried myself to sleep pretty much everyday with a few exceptions where I felt numb. When I cry I hyperventilate and can't stop until I finally calm myself down. It can take 20 minutes or 3 hours. I personally don't think I have panic attacks though. Maybe?!

My self esteem is quite bad, I never feel I'm good enough sometimes. I sometimes get confused as to why my friends like me. I find myself being scared to simply ask for help or go to the shop across my street or to town alone. I'd keep on telling myself I can do it. I'd check I've got everything I need over and over again at least 3 times. Then I'd run over all the things that can go wrong.

I get along well with my friends. I can be fun and outgoing but I sometimes feel bored and too tired to join in on the fun. I've even made excuses to not hang out with them even though i kind of want to there's a larger part of me telling me I don't. I've made plans with a friend and regretted it later on telling myself I'm too tired, I don't want to etc.

My friends have commented on how slow I am when walking, talking and I always sound tired. I forget things often. For example I'd be thinking something and forget 5 seconds later. It's awful.

I've lost my appetite and I sometimes go a day without eating or simply eating some of my dinner to please my parents. I feel sick when I look at food sometimes. I used to eat a lot! I loved food and I miss that when it was easy to just eat. And now I can't be bothered to make toast, or pot noodles.

I over sleep sometimes, sleeping for more than 12 hours. sometimes I have late nights watching TV. Even when I sleep at like 8pm I'd wake up at like 2 or even 4 ift mum wakes me up.

I've stopped playing all the sports people would say I'm 'talented' in. Like swimming, athletics, netball I was so sporty. I used to love to draw! Now I just watch TV and sleep. I haven't done these activities for over a year. I even quit piano.

Lastly, my temper. I easily become angry now and irritated. Mostly towards my family. I lock myself in my room the whole day because I don't want to be nagged and also because I'm scared of being around my family.

My grades have fallen slightly and I don't do homework cause I procrastinate and end up stressing more.

I've had some suicidal thoughts, I haven't self harmed I don't think that's necessary though sometimes I feel like doing it. I've done alternative harm like snapping a rubber band on my arm leaving marks and swelling.

I feel I've been through this for nearly 3 years now sometimes worse days than others.

Am I depressed? Or being a teenager or being silly?

1 like, 7 replies

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Sounds like depression! Please contact your doctor and get on some medication to help you through this rough time I your life!
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    • Posted

      Thank you for the reply. I'm not really sure I want to be put on medication but I'd like to reach out for help. Maybe an alternative? I appreciate it.

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  • Posted

    Hello Elaian

    To be honest you sound like a fifteen year old. In ways you are under age for the site as you are ment to be at least 16 years old

    You sound attentive and you just need to be with your friends and carry on with your sports and any other activity you are interested in. If you are really concerned talk to your parents and they will be there to help you through.

    I suppose at fifteen homework and examinations were a bind for me so if that is the case talk to your class tutor and explain there if something is wrong.

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your input. When I registered I put my date of birth and they did not decline my registration so that's odd.

      I used to always be on top of my homework and I was a good student. Lately I've been forgetting I have homework, procrastinating and if I do get it done it's not to my best standard.

      I shall talk to my parents as that may be the best thing to do, thank you. I may be being a normal teenager, I've only lived once so I don't know. It's just doesn't feel right to me that's all but you could be right.

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  • Posted

    Sounds like depression. Suicidal thoughts should always be taken seriously. Not doing things you love for this long probaly is depression. Speak with you're parents. Should you're parents shrug it off speak to a counselor, nurse, at school. You're school may have someone specificaly for this. If so, thats the best choice. My parents did not listen to me and I did suffer because of this. May not be you're situation, hope not. Please talk to an adult about this. This should not be ignored.

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply I appreciate it. I should tell my parents you're right I'm just slightly scared and embarrassed. I'm not really open with them at all. Hopefully they'll understand and help me.

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  • Posted

    Don't back out. They love you and want whats best for you. Glad you decided to speak with them.

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