I've just been diagnosed with HSV1
Posted , 3 users are following.
I'm no spring chicken, I'm 47 & have just been diagnosed with genital herpes hsv1 - caught it from my new partner who's nearly 50 & we've only had sex once. He says he caught a cold sore from his ex wife some years ago & it seems that's how I've got it from him even though he had no symptoms & I haven't had unprotected sex with anyone else since August 2012 when I was still married .
It's slowly sinking in that this is life changing & I'm angry, upset etc.
He's done nothing but apologise but one thing is baffling me & that is that none of his 3 previous sexual partners before me & since his wife have caught it from him - I'm finding it hard getting concrete facts but that is what I need if anyone can help
0 likes, 8 replies
FelizCastus sharon_49944
Posted
As I like to say, herpes is like Russian roulette but with much better odds generally speaking. You're either lucky, so for various reasons don't get it after repeated encounters, or terribly unlucky and get it after just one or a handful of encounters.
sharon_49944 FelizCastus
Posted
It's happened after only one encounter. I'm just baffled as to why I've caught it but none of his ex partners have - maybe it's just an unlucky coincidence
FelizCastus sharon_49944
Posted
jane80952 sharon_49944
Posted
Try not to be so upset, the truth is you're lucky you made it as far as you did in life without acquiring it. If you have discomfort or pain from sores or want to minimize transmission risk, ask for suppression anti-virals. If you had known he had type 1 oral, would you have refrained from kissing him or otherwise acted differently? The better place for your anger is doctors who don't screen for herpes at all or treat types 1/2 differentially- I am sure no doctor ever told him that he had type 1, that it could transmit to the genitals, that he should be on suppression antivirals to minimize transmission risk, should disclose before sexual activity of any kind, or insist on performing oral or kissing through female condom or dental dam. The truth is, society and the medical community have not treated type 1 accurately or fairly relative to type 2 and this needs to change.
sharon_49944 jane80952
Posted
He had no clue that the virus stays with you for life after having a cold sore a few years ago & he is going to get himself checked out. My symptoms have almost gone now, the antibiotics & antivirals have done their job - just feel like I may as well join a convent now
FelizCastus sharon_49944
Posted
Two-thirds of the population carry HSV1 somewhere, usually orally, and often without symptoms. It's a lot more common than you think.
sharon_49944 FelizCastus
Posted
Thank you both for your replies - you've explained a few things that I didn't know i.e. 2 thirds of the population carry it without symptoms, so that may answer why his exes haven't caught it but I have - I've never had a cold sore & my gp could tell that by the severity of my symptoms. Thanks again
FelizCastus sharon_49944
Posted
Slight correction: Around 2/3 of the population carries HSV1, of which the vast majority (believe it's around 80%) is asymptomatic. Not 2/3 are asymptomatic carriers. But yeah, loads have it, but most don't know and transmission is like Russian roulette (depends on various factors, so not every encounter results in transmission -- in fact, most don't).