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I've suffered with anxiety and depression for 9 years what should I do ?

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Guest
Guest

For 9 years I have suffered with anxiety and depression. I went to my gp they gave me dizapam for my anxiety citalopram for my depression and zopiclone for my sleeping. I was on these for 7 months I just became a forgetful drugged person who would not remember anything and was just floating each day my go has referred me many times to see a councilor and as psychologist but they would allways lose my paper work then a person who works there emails me saying I've seen you try so many times email it all to me and I'll get it done and I've not heard from her since went back to my gp he said the governance t has stopped that and I can't get referred just feel lost and feel there has not been great support there im struggling to go to work every single day it's effected my job and made go through more jobs than I wish to admit I have debt stresses bills etc I've do meditation now im more aware of my illness but taking longer to to learn to cope and deal with it for a long time I just wanted everything over for me to be gone I went to the darkest side inside me now I just feel numb dead inside and feel it's not right for my partner I feel like a let down can't even get to work I don't really eat now if I do not a real meal just snacks lost so much weight I started to smoke weed to help and I feel more in control with this than the tablets but I know that's not the fix and don't want to start to rely on that but most days I wake up for work with this deep sinking feeling my heart is aching but racing at the same time sweaty palms feel as though you can't leave your house then put the pressure of feeling not like a human being I just really want to get help even find out if there's some benefits that can help I constantly worry about money and the future and let the present pass by my partner suffers depression also not as bad as mine and I just feel im losing hope in people and life in doing everything I can on my side and feel like a number in a system that got passed by each time I miss off work I get more Into debt I've lost all resecpt for myself don't bath when should no energy can't focus please if anyone has any advice or know who to put me in contact or what info I would need to claim

I just want to get better I feel the road im on is a lonely and not the right path and I need this for myself for my partner if not I can't see the point of anything

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Dar9992
    Dar9992 Guest

    Posted

    Daniel I feel for you. I feel the exact same right now. It’s so horrible. The only relief I am getting at the moment is temporary relief with a few bottles of beer. Otherwise my every waking hour is anxiety ridden hell. I’m such a weak scared person. I hate myself for it. 
    • Guest
      Guest Dar9992

      Posted

      Sorry your going through this also im a wreck got work in 2 hours and everyday does feel like hell but we are not weak we still here as hard as it may be and I know many people do understand and many people don't

    • Guest
      Guest Dar9992

      Posted

      No my doctor was giving me so many tablets and the side affects made me want to stay away from tablets I tried but they don't mix well with me so been trying to deal with the feelings emotions try and understand why my mind is making go like this I used an app head space that was OK to use

    • Dar9992
      Dar9992 Guest

      Posted

      Well done. I don’t want to take meds either but when you are cornered in the situation it’s very hard not to look into every possible search for relief. I struggle with the choice of living like this versus being a semi zombie but functioning. 
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