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I wanna end my life but I can't kill myself

Posted , 9 users are following.

n55293
n55293

I just made a several cuts on my arms because I was trying to kill myself but I couldn't. I have been depressed for 8 years. I tried to suicide 3 times during these years and I was saved. I tried to seek help from a doctor and he was a psychopath. He took advantage from all my weakness points and issues and he harassed me sexually. I can't trust anyone even myself. I lock myself in home. I stopped working for a year and I turn off job offers because I am scared from people. Everyday I go to sleep I wish I won't wake up. I just wanna die. This world is so cruel and am so alone in it. But I have no courge to kill myself..

2 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Emis_Moderator
    Emis_Moderator n55293

    Posted

    Hi n55293,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

  • deb87510
    deb87510 n55293

    Posted

    Your subconscious is stopping you from doing what you say you want to. You have reason to live you just don’t know why yet.

    I am sure sure after your dreadful experience with that doctor that it will be hard to trust again but please try another doctor.  there are good ones out there. Is there anyone you can talk to in your family reach out you have nothing to lose. Keep coming back here. Take it one hour at a time. 

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane n55293

    Posted

    Hello. Depression is a very delilitating disease and very painful. I know because I have suffered with it the majority of my life. However I have had good luck with therapy and antidepressants. I am so sorry that you are suffering so much but I tell you we will support  you just go to another doctor there are good doctors out there that want to help you like they helped me. What do you think? Diane
  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 n55293

    Posted

    Hi n55293 - sorry to read of your situation. Have you reported that doctor at all? It's a tough step but there's one thing for certain - if he was doing it to you he has done it to others, and there may already be a collection of complaints against him. 

    You have not said whether you are on meds or are receiving counselling? If not, you really need to find another doc - a female. It may seem hopeless, useless or a complete waste of time, but nothing will change unless you seek to change it. Hang in there, gather that strength and do it for you. Meanwhile, we are always here to talk. 

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