I want to kill myself

Posted , 8 users are following.

I’ve been having troubling symptoms for a while and I have a doctors appointment but it’s in an entire month from now and I don’t think I can wait. I don’t think I can endure this pain any longer, I just feel like killing myself the majority of the time. 

1 like, 9 replies

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Can I ask why you want to do that?
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  • Posted

    Dear Tyson68406,

    I can see you are in a lot of anguish and I'm sorry for the pain you're going through.  

    I have struggled with depression, anxiety and PTSD most of my adult life.  I served in the US Army and that added to some of the trauma I was already coping with.  As a medical professional myself, I know that there are a lot of gaps in mental health care, but there are resources out there to help you that make a difference.  Please look into what resources are available in your area in addition to seeing a doctor.  I recently listened to an amazing message by Joyce Meyer on how deceiving our emotions can be.  Feelings are fickle and can distort reality and what is good and true.  Not to say that feelings shouldn't be validated.  But don't let what you feel have power over you.  The truth is you are loved by God.  You are valuable.  You have a purpose in life even if that isn't clear to you now (Jeremiah 29:11).  I am a survivor of horrendous childhood abuse and was a little girl that came from a very broken home.  Right now, I'm 7 days post-op from a major surgery and I feel like crap to be honest.  But, I'm trying to focus on knowing that this pain will pass.  I have peace knowing my value and worth is in Christ Jesus through faith.  

    Please hang on my friend.  If we put our hope in Jesus there is everything to gain.  Suicide may feel like an out or an escape, but it is not.  It has spiritual consequences and you can't reverse it.  

    While you wait for your appointment, try to take good care of yourself.  Eat reasonably healthy.  Get rest.  Get out some of the emotion through working out or going for a run if you like to run.  Don't isolate yourself even if that means going to a coffee shop on your own.  I don't know what your troubling symptoms are or why you are in so much pain.  But I do know you are loved more than you can imagine.  That's the truth.

    Praying for you friend.   

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  • Posted

    If you feel you cannot wait a month (that's a long time when you're in so much pain) can you call them back and explain how urgent it is?

    If you feel you're in imminent danger then go to the hospital (A&E / ER). They will help you to get the right help.

    Keep fighting these thoughts. Depression lies to us. It makes us believe things that are simply not true.

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  • Posted

    Hi Tyson,

    If you feel that badly, go to the Emergency Admission at your local hospital and get yourself admitted as a suicide-watch patient. Don't wait, don't delay-do it NOW. This is not something you want to put off.

    During a major depression episode I had years ago my wife and Therapist had me admitted to hospital under those circumstances when I was not thinking rationally myself-and they were exactly correct to do so. When you are that depressed you are not thinking rationally.

    Don't hesitate, don't delay, do it NOW. You'll feel better after a few days of rest, good diet and attention.

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  • Posted

    i hate when doctors appointments can’t come soon enough. Waiting for it isn’t the only option though, you can always go to an urgent care or ER for mental health issues, or call a crisis line and get some support and advice from them as to what steps to take to getting help. The fact that you’re posting on this page means that you value your life and care about getting help. I hear you and want you to know that I want you to get through this. It’s a terrible, daunting, and seemingly endless struggle but there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you give yourself the chance to get there. Please feel free to DM as well if you want to continue a conversation. Please be gentle with yourself. 
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  • Posted

    Please don’t things will get better I promise u that....try and get some new medication to help with the depression...please take care xx
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