I want to know if there are others like me

Posted , 6 users are following.

I have not gotten any professional counselling or anything, neither do i know for sure do i have anything like depression or things like that. What i do know is that i have been feeling broken and empty for pretty long now and it has escalated ever since the start of last year and i started having this urge and thoughts of suicide although i know for sure i wouldnt do it but it feels like a big secret and i cant share it with anyone around me. I do also cut myself, but its mostly shallow cuts and i dont think its a big deal honestly? I do think that its not very good especially as people might start to avoid you if they know. Though i havent cut for a few days but i think its starting to become a habit.

What really bothers me though is that I have this feeling that is almost like an obsession with negative thoughts and i really just want to immerse myself in these thoughts and just lie in bed all day is this normal?   

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    This has happened to me also. Mine started 3 years ago though. And since then I've had counselling but that doesn't seem to help.

    I find talking to people or hanging with friends helps a little bit as it makes you feel wanted

    You can always message me if you need someone to talk to

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  • Posted

    Hi

    To me it sounds like you are depressed as you're expressing the traits of it with thoughts of suicide, firstly I would see your GP (I know it's hard to open up but I'm glad I did) they will put you in contact with the right people. I myself am at mental hospital for counselling at end of this month although I'm scared I know it's for the best. Few weeks ago I actually wrote a note and made plans how I was going to kill someone at work and then myself, it took me opening up to my girlfriend and seeing just how scared and sad she was that I made decision to seek, I also have a drink and drug problem so I've been of work for just over a month, I'm really low at the minute as my girlfriend as gone on holiday for a wk (that she totally deserves) but I can't help the negative thoughts. You hang in there and please express your thoughts to a professional and you will start your recovery.

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    • Posted

      hey! thanks for the reply

      I dont think i am depressed though i mean nothing totally life changing or anything bad has really happened to me so i feel like i shouldnt be depressed? Sometimes i feel like im just over-exaggerating how i feel too. 

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    • Posted

      If you're thinking about it this much I'd say you had some form of depression, you don't have to have bad stuff in the past in my experience, mine comes from the loss of a brother and a self loathing where I wonder why people even bother with me. Please speak to your doctor and lift the cloud 👍

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  • Posted

    Hi,  I think it is time for you to go to a doctor for some medication. Absolutely, you are clincally depressed which means your brain chemistry is changed enough that you need medication to correct it.

    I am clinically depressed now and am doing a little better with meds. I just started. A little while ago, for the first time in my life I had a sudden urge to cut myself. I am in my 30's.  I, ultimately didn't do it but had the thoughts for about three days. I always wondered about cutters and now I get it.  You are just try to put the pain somewhere else, give yourself some kind of control.

    Please go to a doctor and try exercise and a better diet. you need to resit your biochemistry

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    • Posted

      hey its awesome to be able to hear from you

      I try not to cut now because most of my cuts have already healed up and my entire arm can actually be shown to the world and im confident most would not see anything so i dont really want to ruin it now so hopefully i wont cut for a long time. Its great that you were able to resist, really after the first cut it is so addicting and way more difficult to stop so im glad for yousmile

      Seeing a doctor feels a bit excessive for my case though i mean im still functioning fine but i dont know

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  • Posted

    Well done for sharing this. Tbh there is no doubt in my mind that you are depressed. A lot of us tried to convince ourselves for quite a while because we didn't have the circumstantial reasons that we thought justified it.

    I don't know how old you are, but we go through crises in our life however stable our life appears to others on the outside.

    Once you accept that you are depressed, there's no need to feel guilty over it either.

    But get yourself to a doctor and get some help. A regular routine and a daily brisk walk or similar (known to release positive mental hormones - endorphins - after 30 minutes) will also help give you just that bit more grip on life day to day too.

    Good luck and very best wishes. Help is at hand!

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  • Posted

    Sounds like depression to me, though I only know what happens to me, go see a professional . How many people do you know that have suicidal thoughts and cut themselves open?
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