I was diagnosed with Herpes today...I feel terrible

stew73079, when the right girl comes along she will not reject you. My boyfriend was Diagnosed with herpes 30 years ago. He was open and honest with me and I continued to date him. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with herpes about 2 weeks ago. I thought we were careful but I was wrong. Hang in there!!

Hey stew,

I'm 22 as well and was diagnosed back in December. In fact, it sounds like we have very similar stories!

When I found out I was a bit of a mess, and kept playing it all around in my mind! What you have to come to terms with is that it really isn't bad. This might take time, but one of the best things I heard was to think of it as cold sores, not herpes!

over Christmas I ended up meeting a girl and going in a few dates and before anything happened I told her... She laughed at me, called me an idiot for worrying, and then explained her friend has it.

My other friend has cold sores on his face, and now that I put 2 and 2 together, I'm pretty sure he has genital herpes...

I haven't told anyone that I have this unless I will be having sex with them. I have recently started dating a close friend (we share friends) and she too was not bothered by it... Yes there is a stigma around it, but after you look at the stats, do you really care what other people think?!

If they don't want to be with you because of this then it is their loss... Just be open and honest, and you will find that this becomes a minor issue very quickly!

Don't be hesitant about asking questions... Quite a few people helped me on this site when I first found out.

Take care.

Stew, I know it's hard not to worry, hut right now do not even think about that. You need to worry about coming to terms w this first and going through the grieving process. You have got to get to that place first, before you should date at all. Listen condoms only provide 30% protection from herpes. Trust me, I ask myself the same thing, had I used protection would I be in this position. There's no point in us beating ourselves up.. What's done is done. I know multiple people w herpes and they're all married to people who didn't have it, so there is hope. Hang in there

Hello Stew,

                 Sorry to hear you got this virus, it can be pretty hard to accept at first but you will get over it, I've had it 5 years and its honestly made me a better person, I laugh at myself, take better care of myself and dont judge others, really its an annoying wake up call and I'm fortunate this is all I have, like you said it could be worse.

Like a few others have said too, people will be accepting of you for all you are and if they dont accept you they would not have been worth it, even if you didn't have herpes you would still face the possibility of rejection regardless, at least when you do get with somebody you will know that they care about the person you are and see past any issues you may have, and yes you can for sure still have a family, I have two children now, with the same partner, although one child was before I had this and my youngest was after I caught it, both are healthy, my partner is either asymptomatic or does not have it, either way, he has no symptoms (I was faithful but we just dont know for sure how I got this, docs say he probably carries it, or I picked it up before I met him and it lay dormant for like 6/7 years pff, Idk) anyways we have unprotected sex and for contraceptive reasons protected sex too, he has been exposed to the blister stage of this virus from me when I was unaware of an outbreak and he still has never had an outbreak, to be honest he isnt phased by it at all, our sex life is normal (well it was but our baby has thrown a spanner in the works atm lol), what I'm trying to say is, we are normal and many others with herpes are too, plenty of people come on this site with happy stories of their love life and I'm sure you will too one day.

If by chance you need advice about how to deal with the outbreaks, the pain of it the blisters etc, or constant outbreaks, between us we have some good advice and theres always somebody to talk to on these forums so anything you want to ask us fire away.

Chin up, all the best.

Mandy

Thank you so much

Your messages seriously did cheer me up last night..it's so good to know that there are people out there like yourselves

Hey everyone,

So I commented on this post early on now and haven't really been following it, but have got the idea of what's been kicking off.

I think it's time you remember the reason for stew posting on here. It wasn't to solve the herpes mystery, or talk about personal views of what does and doesn't work. It was to give stew support and advice on how to cope with this.

Mirroring what I said earlier stew, you can live with this. I'm currently dating a girl and she knows I have this. Can't say it's going amazingly well but that's a story for another day. I dated one girl over Christmas who laughed when I told her because she said I was being an idiot for worrying.

I have recently been given anti viral medication, on repeat prescription, and am on a course of suppression.

I'm 22, and still at uni. Yes it's awful to get this, but ylu can make the best of it. Try and forget about it when chatting to girls, but always remember before anything happens, and be honest. Other than that there is nothing you can do.

This site is for support, not others to settle individual issues. I'm not trying to get involved in this argument, just trying to bring it back to what this is all about. Don't let this put you off posting stew, everyone has advice and experiences to share, and that should be the main focus.

Feel free to get in touch if you need anything.

Tom

Thank you all very much for taking the time to write on this post people, it's really helped me..

I'm in a much better place than I was when writing this initially. I have come to terms with it and changed my perspective on life in general really. Subconsciusly I know it's always going to be alright.

Dating is going to be an issue when I get round to it, but i'm confident enough to say I'll be able to deal with it. It is sh*t, but it's really not the end of the world. The most succesful was to deal with is envitably to be ok with it, and confident in yourself outside of the world of STD's. Tom mate, very relatable situation but it's nice to know that you're still getting by with it!

Thanks so much guys

I have now deleted the entire sub discussion as it is not helping anyone. If users continue to post in the manner that has been posted in here I will deactivate accounts. If you do not agree with another user either reply politely or do not reply at all and report the post if you think it needs checking. As per the link below posts are users own opinions and we will not get involved in individual disputes nor will we delete comments simply because a user doesn't agree with what is being said. If you want to carry on this specific debate politely you can start a new discussion on this topic.

http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398318-alternative-medicines-opinions-etc