Im depressed and have social anxiety, I haven't told anyone and I'm scared to

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I feel hopeless and it's slowly killing me. I get so angry at tiny things sometimes and some other times I feel so completely empty. I'm not skinny enough I'm not good enough and I'm sick of all this I'm sick of having to wear long sleeves in the summer and people asking me why. Sometimes I feel every emotion mixed with feeling nothing and I cry for hours without knowing why. Everything's collapsing around me and I feel like it's never going to get better. I'm always terrified in public I can't talk to my form without breaking down I'm so self conscious about even the way I breath, I panic so much and I'm sick of faking smiles. I want help. I haven't told my parents.. they think I'm just a normal child a happy child but I flip out at them and they get mad at me and we argue a lot. I can't tell my family I really can't. What do I do?! Someone please help me I need help.

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi,

    Depression and anxiety coupled with socialising problems. Including myself, there are many of us on this site with the same problems.

    Firstly, you can't go it alone, and you shouldn't feel uncomfortable or ashamed about seeking help from your GP. Medication may not be the long term answer to your disorders but they should help you to help yourself.

    Sertraline helped my depression, but pushed up my anxiety, fluoxetine is a better all rounder but although my anxiety levels flatten and my depression too, I had to up the level of meds after a month or so.

    Different things for different people, seek help.

    Mike

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  • Posted

    Hi, first of all i don't know how old you are, are you old enough to see a doctor

    On your own?. You really do need to see a doctor and get the help you need,

    You are carrying all these thoughts and feelings it's no wonder you feel like

    You do, there is help for you ,you don't have to suffer alone, it is very hard to reach

    out and ask for help when you've been hiding everything away,but you will be

    amazed what a relief you will feel when you talk to someone, and if you break

    down when you talk, it doesn't matter it's just a way of getting your emotions

    out, there are lots of people on this forum who you can relate to, everything you

    Are feeling someone on here has felt the same,You are not alone even though

    It feels like you are, at times you just don't know which way to turn, but there

    Is a way forward,and you will start feeling better but you really have to ask

    For help and guidance don't sit in your bedroom worrying yourself silly take that

    First step and tell someone , if you need reassurance just message me,and

    I will respond xx

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    • Posted

      I know you think your mum would just brush it off but she doesn't know how badly your feeling because you are hiding it from her, I'm sure she would be really upset if she thought you don't feel able to confide in her. It isn't set in stone that you have to have medication,there is always therapy and people qualified to help in your situation but you need to speak to someone you can confide in to help you on the right track x

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  • Posted

    Fallenwings

    You say you are unable to wear short sleeves, WHY ?, are you cutting ?.

    You sound young, how old are you ?.

    If you are sixteen or over make an appointment with your GP, you need help and there are many different things your Surgery can do to help, they can arrange  a possible appointment with a CPN. Depending on your age, you may not be prescribed medicatons. Talking May Help.

    If under sixteen, your Mother would be able to see your Doctor with you.

    Before you see your GP make a list explaining your concerns and that wll help you make better use of your Appointment 

    BOB

     

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    • Posted

      I have cut before a few times and mum saw them and we talked though it. We agreed I was confused with my emotions and didn't know what I was doing and I promised I wouldn't do it again. She never brought it up. I did it again after about 5 months later when it got a bit worse. I haven't done it in a few months and I don't intend to... I'm early teens and I know my parent, if told them they would be really shocked and think I'm doing it for attention and they would tell me I'll get over it.

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    • Posted

      Fallenwings

      Talk to your Mother and ask to see your GP, if you cut I would be worried and I would really want to know, as I am concerned if it is habit forming.

      Both you and your Parents need to know the cause of this, so ask to see the Doctor, please

      BOB

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    • Posted

      If you don't feel you can talk to your parents, can you talk to a school counsellor? The counsellor should be able to help you, maybe even request a meeting with your parents to discuss your situation. Talk to somebody who will hear you out and help you get the care you need. Keep in touch on this forum and let us know how you are doing.

      Take care.

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    • Posted

      About a year ago my school councillor walked through all the classrooms to see how everyone was doing. She had seen a few cuts on my wrists. She pulled me out of my lesson and asked me a ton of questions, such as 'what's it like when you do it' and 'why are you doing it'. As there where only a few cuts at the time I was scared and told her it wasn't self harm and made up a story about how I got them. She tried to trick me into admitting I was self harming and asked more and more questions. She asked me aggressively 'what does it feel like when you cut' Ober am deathly over again. I didn't know what to do at that point and was on the edge of crying I was panicking badly I couldn't breathe properly. All the sudden questions and the way she acted made me sick. I had to go to Matron's room. She only talked to me once after that when she pulled me out of another's lesson and after asking a few more questions she called me a liar and sent me back to class. Whenever I see her around school she ignores me. The whole situation made everything worse. If there was a point I could have snapped out of it and been fine, it would have been before this.

      I can't talk to my parents even if I wanted to, my body won't move. I tried to tell my parents last night but I was frozen I was scared and I can't tell them I just can't. They also have so much on their mind and are stressing like hell a lot isn't going on an di would just make everything worse for them. Because my school councillor isn't an option, nor a GP I really don't know what to do anymore..

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    • Posted

      Does your family belong to any church? If you can talk to a minister or a youth counsellor, they could probably help you. You have to confide in someone. There are people who care and will help if you talk to me them. Do you have any friends you feel able to talk to? A lot of cities have crisis lines teens can call to talk and find out how to get help. I know you feel alone and helpless, but you're not. Keep in touch and please try to find someone or an organization where you can get help. Take care,

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  • Posted

    You don't say how old you are but I was 15 when my mental health problems kicked in with panic attacks and I didn't understand them, let alone my parents. I then became a teacher and worked wth teenagers for decades, especially concentrating on those with emotional problems - maybe we were drawn to each other. So here goes (an old lady to a young one):

    1. If you have a good-enough relationship with one or both parents, then take a deep breath and tell them how you are feeling or write them a letter, even if it feels a total mess and they will be upset. Of course they'd be upset. You're their child and they will feel guilty you have let it from them/they haven't noticed (actually, don't be surprised if they have noticed but are keeping quiet). They may be shocked but that is their problem, not yours and they are old enough to handle it. Don't take on their pain!

    2. Assuming you are 'competent,' you are under no obligation to tell your parents.

    3. You can see your GP, either on your own (my mum came with me the first time) or with someone you trust. Your GP is obliged to protect your privacy and, although s/he will ask you to involve your parents, you don't have to. But choose to see a GP you feel comfortable with, not one who makes you quake.

    4. Schools have counsellors and learning mentors. In the UK, some schools have strong links with TAMHS and CAMHS. You could ask to speak to one of them or an adult you think well of and trust in school. They cant cure you but they can put you in touch with the right people. Unless they are totally incompetent, someone will have noticed those sleeves.

    5. Look online at teenage mental health sites for your area. There may be a specialist adolescent group you can contact with pointers to people who can help. You can read some good advice about self harm on some of the respectable sites. Don't be drawn to the 'this is how to do it' sites - it makes things worse.

    6. Remember you are not alone. Mental health problems affect over a quarter of the population. If we were all open about it, we might get the same respect as medical conditions get. But too many people hide it away as if it's something shameful. It isn't.

    7. You feel hopeless now. There is no miracle cure (medication is not necessarily a good route for you unless your GP decides otherwise) and it takes time but your life doesn't have to halt. I dragged myself through O and A levels, got to university, married, got a wonderful career... all the while having panic attacks, being terrified of myself and everyone else at times but never letting it stop me. Ok, I'm a bit pi***d off I still suffer but it never beat me.

    8. If you are fortunate enough to be offered counselling or a talking therapy, be open. The more you hide, the less it works - I'm an expert on that one! But never expect a miracle cure. 

    It takes courage to ask for help. You've made a start here. Only you can decide which route to follow from now. Good luck,

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    • Posted

      I didn't say what I meant by competent. Officially GPs were meant to involve a parent up to the age of 16. However, in the UK there is something called the Gillick Competence. So long as you can demonstrate that you understand the problem and the doctor's advice, your GP does not have to involve your parent if you don't wish it. Originally this applied to matters of contraception but it covers all health. They would obviously encourage you to. Unless your family is the cause of the problems, their support and understanding (which comes eventually) is part of the help needed.

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