Im new and lost :O( hoping for some guidance

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi everyone! I have PTSD, and anxiety. I hate saying outloud how I feel because it makes me even more scared. Anxiety has taken over me and I feel I will never be the same again., When I think of that I get more anxiety and more scared because I just want to go back to normal. I used to laugh so much, I was loud, goofy and a blast to be around. Right now and for the past 2 months, I have been feeling disconnected from myself, like nothing is real, afraid of death and thats all I think about, swearing its my time (even tho its not), does any of this soud familiar to anyone else? I feel like im in a bad dream I cant get out of. My anxiety and PTSD comes from abuse. If anyone would like to write me back, I would so appreciate it. Thank you in advance- Estefania......I dont even laugh the same any more or smile or do anything, IS THIS REALY ALL ANXIETY AND IS THIS REALLY MY LIFE? :o( IM SO SAD AND AFRAID

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  • Posted

    I'm so sorry to hear that you've been experiencing these difficult feelings and emotions, Estefania. Many people with PTSD and anxiety (including myself) can feel a sense of detachment from themselves, or from reality. For me, I sometimes feel like I'm watching myself from the outside when I'm walking to a lecture or to work. Other times I'll space out and wonder if what's happening in front of me is even real. Right now I'm recovering from some bad health anxiety...part of which was believing that I was going to die, that it was my time, etc. And so I promise you, you're not alone in feeling this way. It's important to know that! I thought I was alone with all my weird feelings, or losing my mind, but forums like this are filled with people just like us. So, take a deep breath, relax, and know that with therapy, self-knowledge, and possibly even medications, everything will be okay. You have so much value as a person and so much to give others -- so get better so you can smile again. smile 

    Much love, 

    Nick

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    • Posted

      Wow thank u so much nick! It's the absolute worst thing ever ! I'm sorry u deal with this too and hope u feel better soon! I hate it! Just wanna get back to normal ;( thank u so much for your kind words ! Yes I understand completely what u are going thru!

      From anxious Estefañia

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  • Posted

    It is really anxiety and you have to keep telling your self that think of the feelings you get from it cos I know with mine I can't pin point or describe how it actually is sometime your body tells you your in danger so adrenaline pumps through your body causing you real physical pain and it's perpetuating because of the frightening thoughts you are getting when you feel like this therefore your anxiety is causing you to be more anxious see a specialist and ask them to do mindfulness it worked with me and I used to wake up with anxiety which lasted all day and half the night. I also was prescribed mirtazapine it was the only drug that worked after been on every other anti depressant and anxiety drug it'll help you get your life back

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    • Posted

      hi im hoping somebody can help me also i think i may have anxiety and depression i cant concentrate and its affecting my work i used to be so confident but i hate talking to ppl now i avoid ppl like the plague id rather sit in the house by myself i only go out with my partnerĀ 
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    • Posted

      thank u so much for your response bashley! yes i do that along with meditation and beathing technigues.....i hate it all so much. I personally do not want medicinal meds as i try to do it holistically....it helps too but i just gotta keep strong and get back to my normal...i just hate this feeling of feeling that i am living in a bad dream and that i am disconnected from myself.....ugh so frustrating
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  • Posted

    Hi,

    Sorry to hear you're not enjoying life. You really will get back to normal only you will know how long this will take.

    I wanted to tell u that I have this fear of death thing which became too much way back. I thought I was gonna die from HIV but never had it. My mind just raced. I was disconnected with reality and felt separate from world.

    Has anything recently set this off or do u think this has been building for a while. U mentioned the ptsd and I'm sure ur working things through with this.

    I've come a long way over the years and I want this to inspire you that you will have peace of mind one day. It's OK to be afraid of not feeling you will ever be same again. I also thought this..I'm still not there with the derealization (I messed with drugs which triggered my anxiety off) but I'm more optimistic and yes I yearn to get back to who I was when I was little. I won't be exactly the same but just wanna laugh more like u.

    V courageous not to take meds I'm on meds but hope not to be one-day.

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    • Posted

      Thank u so much for your response ! Yes ! I had a fight with a girl 3 years ago (I kno I sound stupid ) and I was in fear she would return to hurt me .. And I was obsessed with this and truly put in my head that she would be back ..... I was afraid to go outside I pictured so manny scary situations and was looking over my back constantly ... Now I feel disconnected ... Smh my history is domestic violence and sexually assault trauma as a kid .... But that is not bothering me (I don't think so anyway cuz I don't think about it) in May I miscarried a baby and I was petrified because I thought I was stuck with this baby with a sh*tty guy and I didn't want that( I panicked) thinking the worst .......I miscarried anyway but just all this added up and bam I guess my brain shut off sad

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    • Posted

      Yeah when u go thru the worst scenario over and over and over all the while scaring yourself silly u do get disconnect . Hope u can let go of the 'retaliation' thoughts cos chances are after 3 years she's moved on. Sounds like u need a holiday.

      You just need some quality time with people u trust. Can they induce a smile from u, try to remember good times as u said u was a goofball. Love that word. Pull a stupid face in d mirror. Bet that make u smile. It's gotta. Is there a place u go where u feel at peace, like for me it's a park overlooking the city.

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