Im soooo confused and feel like a bit of a fake!

I would say that feeling of being a fake is part of the depression - it has taken me a long time to even begin to accept that I have depression. I suppose a bit like you - I didn't go to the doctor thinking I was depressed, it was his diagnosis after other things had been ruled out. I don't know if you have had any blood tests done? - for things like anaemia and thyroid function - but it might help you to have had other causes ruled out. I still have lots of days where I think I should be able to get over this myself - it's so frustrating - but I get on better on the days when I can accept things better. I spent some time in hospital at the beginning of the year and still felt I would be exposed as a fake - so worrying that I would be sent home because there was nothing wrong with me, while at the same time worrying why they weren't sending me home!

Starting your own business sounds stressful, and normal family life can be fairly relentless even when you love them. Moving house is also not a walk in the park, is it? So give yourself a break and try to find some time to do things that make you feel good (not just things you feel you should be doing).

Take care of yourself.

Hi Gretchel,

Thanks for your comment.

I had blood tests but all was well! :?

When the doc actually said i had severe clinical depression i was shocked and broke down! i knew i was down but didnt think it was that bad! I just assumed it was tiredness as i work 3 nights a week!!! it is a lot to accept, for me anyways, thats probably why i feel like a fake? i dont know!

since reading some posts on here it has helped me, even though i joined only yesterday, i am finding out more and more about depression, and its nice to know that there is somewhere i can come where people actually know what im going through!

Thanks

xx

HI THERE.I FELT ONCE I HAD FACED UP TO THE FACT THAT I HAD DEPRESSION,WHICH I HAVE TO SAY WAS NOT EASY,I GOT ALL THE GUILTY, IM JUST MAKING A FUSS OVER NOTHING FEELING AS WELL.I TOO AM MARRIED WITH 3 LOVELY KIDS.NOTHING IN LIFE TO REALLY MOAN ABOUT AND YET I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY I FEEL LIKE THIS.I THINK ONE OF THE MAIN SYMPTOMS IS A FEELING OF WORTHLESSNESS AND THAT YOU HATE BOTHERING PEOPLE WITH YOUR PROBLEMS.NOT THAT I AM BLEATING ON OR ANYTHING BUT BEING A MUM,WORKING NIGHTS AND RUNNING THE HOME TAKES IT TOLL ON YOU.I THINK WE TEND TO BEAT OURSELVES UP AND FEEL AS IF WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO COPE BUT IN ALL HONESTY CAN YOU PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HEART AND SAY THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW ANY OF US ON THIS SITE.THERE IS A REAL STIGMA ATTACHED TO THIS DEPRESSION THING WHICH RESULTS IN THOSE THAT HAV IT FEELING FAKE AND MAKING A FUSS.PEOPLE DO NOT ADMIT THAT THEY HAVE THESES AWFUL FEELINGS AND AND BURY THEM DEEP INSIDE BUT INVENTUALY YOU HAVE TO FAC UP TO THEM AND AS I HAVE FOUND OUT AFTER MANY YEARS OF SUFFERING...THE SOONER THE BETTER..WE ARE NOT MAKING A FUSS AND YOU WILL FEEL ALOT BETTER ONCE YOU HAVE EXCEPTED HELP AND GIVE YOURSELF THAT TIME TO HEAL THAT YOU NEED.THIS SITE HAS BEEN A GODSEND TO ME.GIVE YOUR MEDICATION TIME TO WORK AND IN THE MEANTIME KEEP OFFLOADING YOUR FEELINGS ON HERE.THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE TO LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND.TAKE CARE AND DONT WORRY,YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS WITH HELP FROM YOURSELF AND OTHERS.YOUR PARTNER SOUNDS AS IF HE UNDERSTANDS AS HE TOOK YOU TO THE DR WHEN HE FELT YOU NEEDED IT.ONE OF MY WORST FEELINGS IS DRAGGING HIM INTO THIS AWFUL ILLNESS.ON BAD DAYS HE COMES HOME FROM WORK,COOKS THE DINNER,DEALS WITH THE KIDS AND ALL THE OTHER CHORES I CANNOT FACE.I HAVE TO SAY THIS IS NOT VERY OFTEN BUT MAKES ME FEEL TERRIBLE.I HAVE FOUND THAT LETTING HIM ON THIS SITE HELPS ME AND I AM NOT GOING THROUGH THE RELENTLESS TASK OF EXPLAINING MY FEELINGS TO HIM.YOU WILL START TO FEEL BETTER SOON AND YOU ARE NOT IMAGINING HOW YOU FEEL.GIVE IT TIME.HOPE THIS HELPS.TAKE CARE.XXX

Hi jjj73

Everyone makes so much sense on this site! I feel as though im rambling on about something stupid and then find out someone is going through the same, or has something sensible and helpful to say!

I have tried hard not to drag my hubby into this but sometimes i just need a moan or a cry and he is the only one here. Then i feel guilty, and paranoid that i am going to drag him down too and that he will have enough of it sooner or later! he is great though and understands what i am going through so i am lucky there!

Thank you for your comment

xx

Hi guys....just wanted to let you know you are soooo not alone!! i too have absolutely nothing to feel down about but still do!! I have a beautiful 2 year old son and the loveliest husband, run my own business and live in a lovely home yet still i feel this way....how annoying is that!! Feelings of guilt seem to play a big part in this illness and i know exactly where you are coming from on that one....my poor husband must be near the end of his tether!! :evil: However, i know that we will beat this....i personally have beaten it once before so know it is possible and we must count ourselves very lucky for the love and support we have available to us and make the most of it when we need to....after all, it is a very REAL illness......Keep talking and offloading, thats what this site is here for xx

Hey Juppster,

If you dont mind me asking, how long did it take for you to get better when you had it the last time? I just want to feel normal again and able to have a laugh! (its still really early days yet for me, only 3rd day on Flu!) It broke my heart the other day when my hubby said that he hasnt even seen me smile for AGES!!! :cry:

Thanks for taking the time to comment, its much appreciated.

xx

Hey...to be honest, i really can't remember!! Sorry, i know thats not helpful but when you're depressed time seems to stand still! Plus it was around 7 years ago.....im thinking it was approximately 9 - 12 months of meds and then i was off them for a good 4 years until i had my son which seemed to start it off again!

I guess some of us are just prone to feeling low for no particular reason but just remember, depression is a very treatable illness and although you may feel worse at first....you will eventually feel BETTER!

Best of luck, i know its a real struggle but you're not alone, take care xx

Talk,talk,talk.It is all I seem to do.I appreciate everyone on this site and feel as if we are one big family.I really feel good when I see more people joining in on the chats.It makes me feel that I am not alone and as juppster (i think) said earlier this illness is very real.We definately DO NOT imagine or make up how we feel.God bless you all.I think I may have made a breakthrough finding you all.I really appreciate your comments. I am feeling as if I am doing some good just posting my experiences to you all and hopefully helping in some small way.We will all stick together and WE WILL BEAT THIS!!!take care.xx

lol jjj73, talk away coz i love hearing everyone elses experiences. When i read them its comforting to know i am not alone with this, and when i leave a message i feel as though i am taking a weight off my shoulders even if im just typing a load of rambling garbage lol.

i have only been on flu for 3 days and this is my 2nd day on this site, but i love the kindness of everyone on here. you are all truly amazing!

xx

THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FELT WHEN I JOINED A FEW DAYS AGO.I FEEL HONOURED TO BE SHARING EVERYBODY'S EXPERIENCES AND FEELINGS.I THINK WE ARE ALL VERY SPECIAL ON THIS SITE.I AM SO GLAD TO BE GETTING TO KNOW YOUS LOT.YOUR GR8.XX

Shell,

I can sympathise. I lay in bed this AM and almost convinced myself I was fine (after all, no tears so must be OK). Forgot it could be that the Flu is startig to take affect.

Yr doctor knows whether you need ti or not. if he has prescribed the tabs then he has seen something that needs to be treated.

So give yourself a break. OK, you can't see the scars or wounds but they are there. trust me! I denied having a problem for 6 months but it still got me in the end!