in need if help with my story

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hi im a 18 yr old male and im really in need of some help

I first went to the doctor back in november 2013 and got diagnosed with depression, i was prescribed to 5mg fluorextine, i believe it was a mixture of situation depression and clinical, at the time my 3 year relationship with my girlfriend was over and she started to talk to other boys whilst she talked to me. Even though that got me down i will always be sure that wasnt 100% the reason i felt so sh*t everyday. She forced me to the doctors about this problem and i saw my gp a total of 3 times the last meeting on new years day 2014. Back then i use to self halm, i tried strangling myself, suffocating myself and the daily cutting myself. I managed to stop all that however it comes back rarely for example i tried to suffocate myself around 3 weeks ago. I never stopped being depressed really i only stopped going to my gp because i wasnt being forced to anymore and i lied to him saying i felt better when i didnt at all. Up until this day im still scared to go outside the house and struggle reallh badly to talk to people i dont know which makes my job hard when im forced to serve customers, i believe this is due to when i was 13 i was heavily bullied and wasnt believed by teachers at school, i was scared to go anywhere alone in school, after school and even at nights, the people would always wait for me in gang at the gates of my school, one day being with big wooden slabs. The teachers finally got involved and they was told to back off which they did for a week or so when i had to walk home and lead to me being followed and jumped twice and nobody helped me, after i got jumped the people played mind games daily until the police got involved, they would try and act like a good friend of mine when we both know they attacked me and i was scared of them after i moved on from that it was the school summer holidays about two months later and i was biking down the street and some adults who must of been around 4-5 years older than me shouted for me to get off my bike and go to them, i thought i was being mugged so i pedaled away as fast as i could and one of the adults ran after me saying when he gets me he would break my jaw, due to these two situations im scared of new surroundings and people i dont know which gets me down and scared. Im a few years older now at 18 and my a-level results lead to depression being hard on me not knowing whether i was gonna get into uni or not, i managed to get in but the feeling of not being able to change my fait had a bad affect on me, i then this september went off to university and my depression went to the worst its ever been due to being scared and in a new environment i didnt know i couldnt make friends, i would hide from my flat mate and cry all the time, i was scared of the real world and what was within it. Within a week indecided it was making me too ill and i couldnt fight it so i moved back home, my depression is still as bad as its ever been, ive started to get drunk every night whilst im crying just to forget and im just scared of whats gonna happen in the next day, until halloween this year only my ex who forced me to the gp knew about my depression, on halloween i go so drunk i gained the courage to tell my family which im glad about but i feel like i have to hide my feelings from them even more now because they dont know how to deal with it, i wanna go back to my gp but when i went to uni i registered with a gp there and now im too scared to re register with my old gp just because i find it hard to deal with people, i strongly feel i need to go back on to anti depressants but dont know the day i will fight to go and register...

And lastly i have no idea where my life is heading and to do for a career which is causing me depression and everyday im feeling worse and i dont know what i can do

I have no idea if it could be mixed to other illnesses such as bipolar or anxiety or anything, is that possible? Should i get tested for other things? 

Im a very depressed and confused individual at the moment and for any help i thankyou so much it will be highly appreciated 

1 like, 8 replies

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hey man. 21 US male here. In hs I dealt with situational depression. My parents sucked. I was overweight for half of it and had a lot of sh*tty girlfriends. They tried me on 4 kinds of antidepressants. None of them worked for me and I ended up working out a ton and changing my mindset but I think meds might be good for you too. They tried you on prozak but you should ask about wellbutrin, lexapro and Zoloft. You should definitely start an exercise routine. Work sadness out. All progress benefits your life and pushes you to a greater level of being. Drinking helps for the short term but hurts for a few days after. I drink all the time. I have been getting wasted several times a month since I was 15. Expect 2-3 days of irrational depression or mopes after you lay off the booze. Only drink in social situations. Your brain chemestry is so delicate. Don't give up though because it is also easily righted. 

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  • Posted

    Hi there,

    I am SAOO, 31, suffering depression and anxiety for quite long time. I read your story which resembles mine to certain extent. I also used to be intemidated and bullied by elders. One day when I was in my second elementry school and whie I was heading back home from school with my friend, an older black guy threatened us and took our stationary stuff after rubbing on my friend's back which I had to keep as a secret even from my family (kind of social constraints). That was a shock to me which imbalanced and scratched my manhood until this day. For this I've become falthered about making any relationship with the opposite sex and I am so depressed as I can't feel like other men do normally feel. However, I am not here to narrate my story only but also to advise. Scare from tomorrow should not be contained today as the almighty Allah can turn sdadness to happiness, deppression into pleasure and failure into success in a moment. We need to have faith and hope in something superior to us since we can't change our realities by ourselves. 

    Please stop drinking for god's sake. It won't help but deepen your depression and narrow your thinking, not to mention other health problems. Please pray a lot and try to seek help a specialist. May Allah help us all.


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  • Posted

    I'd say stop drinking go to your GP and tell them the truth about everything as trying to suffocate yourself is more a suicide attempt not an attempt at self harming. That and alcohol is a recipe for making a very bad mistake.

    You'll need to take small steps to get better and the first one in my opinion is telling your GP the truth & keep telling the truth about how you feel until you get the right advice/medication for your life and situation.


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  • Posted

    Dear MUFC,

     First I’d like to say how very sorry I am that you (and so many others) had to be subjected to bullying in your young life.  We all need to do more to send the message out there because it has to stop, it can cause so much harm as we can see.


    You are absolutely right, being bullied can end up causing long-lasting damage to victims which is also supported by an increasing body of research. Many people believe that one has to be physically harmed in order to suffer lasting effects of bullying but this is not true.  Words and gestures are quite enough and physical damage sustained for example in a fist fight can heal sooner or later. 


    What is far more difficult to mend is the initial wounds the act causes its victim’s.  Research has shown that bullying can cause quite a lot of damage to one’s identity and is usually an attempt to instill fear and self-loathing making the victim view themselves as undesirable, ineffective or an incapable person.


    It is known that the long term effects can make one increasingly susceptible to depression and/or angry and/or bitter or capable of self-harm, all of which you mentioned in your post. Being bullied teaches you that you are not safe in the world, and (when it is dished out by individuals that are built bigger or are older and believe themselves to be superior) that you are relatively powerless to defend yourself. When you are forced, again and again, you come to believe that you can't do anything to change your situation, which in turn sets you up for hopelessness and depression.


    Once again, I am so sorry that you have had to deal with bullies, as you can see, it does do a lot of harm.

    You need to learn how to feel safe again in this world (or safe enough so you can lead a life). Everyone has something to offer in this world and you are one of those people.  


    I’m very happy that you made your way to this forum and you will find that there are so many supportive people that will do their best to answer your questions.  The fact that you are once again willing to go back to your Doctor is a wonderful stepping stone to getting back to feeling much better – and YOU CAN feel better given proper medical treatment.  You didn’t say, are you taking meds now or did you discontinue them?


    When in this predicament, or when feeling as you describe, things feel awful and many feel they have nothing to live for.  Please remember, this is not something you simply can shake off, it seems you are going through bouts of anxiety and panic, exhibiting anti-social behavior and attempting to harm yourself.  Please, go see your physician and get the help you need, you will be okay but you must make that move.


    I’m going to quote a study so you can see how this is more common than many think.


    Doctors should routinely ask children if they have been the victim of a bully, the researchers said.

    "The importance of this early intervention should not be understated," study co-author Dieter Wolke, a professor at the University of Warwick, said in a school news release. "If we were able to eliminate bullying, while other exposures remained constant, there would be a potential to prevent 20 percent of all self-harm cases."

    The researchers examined information on nearly 5,000 children who participated in a study based at the University of Bristol. Children were evaluated to determine if they had been bullied between the ages of 7 and 10. Years later, when the children were 16 or 17, they were asked if they had engaged in self-harm.

    The study found that 16.5 percent of teens had engaged in self-harm in the previous year. Although kids who deliberately hurt themselves may be trying to relieve tension or internalize their distress, the study found that nearly 27 percent of those who hurt themselves felt like they "wanted to die."


    So as you can see, you’re not alone, buy you can be one that gets themselves the help they require to get better.  You can do it, and you have many friends here cheering you on.  Please let us know how you are doing.

    Big hugs, H.

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  • Posted

    HI MUFC,

    I empathise and see you have alot going on emotionally.   I started with full on depressesion in my 39th year...having never experienced any serious problems until then. For the last several years I have been up then down, then up and down again......still scratching my head how it all happened!!   I'm not going to talk of my own personal experience here, but there are somethings you need to get to the bottom of, and you won't do all of this alone, you need professional help and people around you who are quality support...if you see what I mean.  Lay off the booze completely and don't be tempted to self medicate with any other substance that isn't legal.......they don't help and make everything worse believe me!   On the issue of GPs I find some helpful and some useless......its also these days hard to see the same GP everytime.  Check out your local GP service ...there's usually one thats good at mental health.   I found seeing a psychiatrist extremely helpful in part of making sense of why my world was so dark, but although very helpful seeing a psychiatrist is only a part solution.....some of the solution is there somewhere in you......I say that because after a few moderate and one serious bout of depression I'm still here to tell the tale smile.  Remember most of what you have described are emotional experiences and if you don't know this depression lies to tells you things that aren't true......our cognition changes when depressed.    Go and see your GP or if your lucky to be an area with a good mental health team go to them....they will assess you and decide on what help you need.  If ou have money y\ou can pay for help.....??     Its an awful experience and after nearly 3 years of relatively depression free living I'm back here myself

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  • Posted

    Thankyou all for all the support i am planning on a date to go see the gp i have stopped drinking as all of you said that wouldnt help in the long run and im hoping everything will turn around soon

    Thankyou all x 

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