in need if help with my story

Hey man. 21 US male here. In hs I dealt with situational depression. My parents sucked. I was overweight for half of it and had a lot of sh*tty girlfriends. They tried me on 4 kinds of antidepressants. None of them worked for me and I ended up working out a ton and changing my mindset but I think meds might be good for you too. They tried you on prozak but you should ask about wellbutrin, lexapro and Zoloft. You should definitely start an exercise routine. Work sadness out. All progress benefits your life and pushes you to a greater level of being. Drinking helps for the short term but hurts for a few days after. I drink all the time. I have been getting wasted several times a month since I was 15. Expect 2-3 days of irrational depression or mopes after you lay off the booze. Only drink in social situations. Your brain chemestry is so delicate. Don't give up though because it is also easily righted. 

Hi there,

I am SAOO, 31, suffering depression and anxiety for quite long time. I read your story which resembles mine to certain extent. I also used to be intemidated and bullied by elders. One day when I was in my second elementry school and whie I was heading back home from school with my friend, an older black guy threatened us and took our stationary stuff after rubbing on my friend's back which I had to keep as a secret even from my family (kind of social constraints). That was a shock to me which imbalanced and scratched my manhood until this day. For this I've become falthered about making any relationship with the opposite sex and I am so depressed as I can't feel like other men do normally feel. However, I am not here to narrate my story only but also to advise. Scare from tomorrow should not be contained today as the almighty Allah can turn sdadness to happiness, deppression into pleasure and failure into success in a moment. We need to have faith and hope in something superior to us since we can't change our realities by ourselves. 

Please stop drinking for god's sake. It won't help but deepen your depression and narrow your thinking, not to mention other health problems. Please pray a lot and try to seek help a specialist. May Allah help us all.

 

I'd say stop drinking go to your GP and tell them the truth about everything as trying to suffocate yourself is more a suicide attempt not an attempt at self harming. That and alcohol is a recipe for making a very bad mistake.

You'll need to take small steps to get better and the first one in my opinion is telling your GP the truth & keep telling the truth about how you feel until you get the right advice/medication for your life and situation.

 

Dear MUFC,

 First I’d like to say how very sorry I am that you (and so many others) had to be subjected to bullying in your young life.  We all need to do more to send the message out there because it has to stop, it can cause so much harm as we can see.

 

You are absolutely right, being bullied can end up causing long-lasting damage to victims which is also supported by an increasing body of research. Many people believe that one has to be physically harmed in order to suffer lasting effects of bullying but this is not true.  Words and gestures are quite enough and physical damage sustained for example in a fist fight can heal sooner or later. 

 

What is far more difficult to mend is the initial wounds the act causes its victim’s.  Research has shown that bullying can cause quite a lot of damage to one’s identity and is usually an attempt to instill fear and self-loathing making the victim view themselves as undesirable, ineffective or an incapable person.

 

It is known that the long term effects can make one increasingly susceptible to depression and/or angry and/or bitter or capable of self-harm, all of which you mentioned in your post. Being bullied teaches you that you are not safe in the world, and (when it is dished out by individuals that are built bigger or are older and believe themselves to be superior) that you are relatively powerless to defend yourself. When you are forced, again and again, you come to believe that you can't do anything to change your situation, which in turn sets you up for hopelessness and depression.

 

Once again, I am so sorry that you have had to deal with bullies, as you can see, it does do a lot of harm.

You need to learn how to feel safe again in this world (or safe enough so you can lead a life). Everyone has something to offer in this world and you are one of those people.  

 

I’m very happy that you made your way to this forum and you will find that there are so many supportive people that will do their best to answer your questions.  The fact that you are once again willing to go back to your Doctor is a wonderful stepping stone to getting back to feeling much better – and YOU CAN feel better given proper medical treatment.  You didn’t say, are you taking meds now or did you discontinue them?

 

When in this predicament, or when feeling as you describe, things feel awful and many feel they have nothing to live for.  Please remember, this is not something you simply can shake off, it seems you are going through bouts of anxiety and panic, exhibiting anti-social behavior and attempting to harm yourself.  Please, go see your physician and get the help you need, you will be okay but you must make that move.

 

I’m going to quote a study so you can see how this is more common than many think.

 

Doctors should routinely ask children if they have been the victim of a bully, the researchers said.

"The importance of this early intervention should not be understated," study co-author Dieter Wolke, a professor at the University of Warwick, said in a school news release. "If we were able to eliminate bullying, while other exposures remained constant, there would be a potential to prevent 20 percent of all self-harm cases."

The researchers examined information on nearly 5,000 children who participated in a study based at the University of Bristol. Children were evaluated to determine if they had been bullied between the ages of 7 and 10. Years later, when the children were 16 or 17, they were asked if they had engaged in self-harm.

The study found that 16.5 percent of teens had engaged in self-harm in the previous year. Although kids who deliberately hurt themselves may be trying to relieve tension or internalize their distress, the study found that nearly 27 percent of those who hurt themselves felt like they "wanted to die."

 

So as you can see, you’re not alone, buy you can be one that gets themselves the help they require to get better.  You can do it, and you have many friends here cheering you on.  Please let us know how you are doing.

Big hugs, H.

HI MUFC,

I empathise and see you have alot going on emotionally.   I started with full on depressesion in my 39th year...having never experienced any serious problems until then. For the last several years I have been up then down, then up and down again......still scratching my head how it all happened!!   I'm not going to talk of my own personal experience here, but there are somethings you need to get to the bottom of, and you won't do all of this alone, you need professional help and people around you who are quality support...if you see what I mean.  Lay off the booze completely and don't be tempted to self medicate with any other substance that isn't legal.......they don't help and make everything worse believe me!   On the issue of GPs I find some helpful and some useless......its also these days hard to see the same GP everytime.  Check out your local GP service ...there's usually one thats good at mental health.   I found seeing a psychiatrist extremely helpful in part of making sense of why my world was so dark, but although very helpful seeing a psychiatrist is only a part solution.....some of the solution is there somewhere in you......I say that because after a few moderate and one serious bout of depression I'm still here to tell the tale .  Remember most of what you have described are emotional experiences and if you don't know this depression lies to you......it tells you things that aren't true......our cognition changes when depressed.    Go and see your GP or if your lucky to be an area with a good mental health team go to them....they will assess you and decide on what help you need.  If ou have money y\ou can pay for help.....??     Its an awful experience and after nearly 3 years of relatively depression free living I'm back here myself

Thankyou all for all the support i am planning on a date to go see the gp i have stopped drinking as all of you said that wouldnt help in the long run and im hoping everything will turn around soon

Thankyou all x 

Hi MUFC,

The first step in asking and receiving the help we need is always a difficult one, it's wonderful to see you've done that.  I wish you the very best and pray you get to a healthier and happier place.  Take care of you. 

Cheering for you,

Big hugs coming your way. 

Very touching stroy.