Increasing frequency in suicidal thoughts. When will this end?

Hello Ryan you really are suffering and it hurts me to hear how deeply depressed you are! On this site you will find kind people that will understand and will try to help you find solutions on how to live more comfortably! Have you considered calling your GP and trying to get help for your depression. At this point it is urgent that you see a doctor and get some help. I do not want you to continue to suffer. What do you think about my suggestions? Please keep writing to us. We care about you. Diane

Hi ryan54591. Depressive feelings, inner negativities, perhaps a sense of hopelessness - those are things which can drive the thoughts to suicide. Yes, I think talking to your doctor about therapy regarding your present situation - be honest - can help you begin to find some happiness again. Life can be difficult but depending on how you approach it, it can also bring really good times as well. It really can, I've been there. Go to YouTube and listen to techniques on mindfulness or type in how people overcame suicide. There's a lot of helpful stuff there. All the best, you'll rise above this don't worry.

Sorry ryan54591. My previous reply is still waiting to be moderated - probably because I mentioned a popular video sharing website. Everyone knows the one. Because on there you can find a lot of helpful stuff concerning the things you're talking about. I use it in a self help way. Personally, I can't really say what's fully worked for me because I still struggle, but mindfulness helps me cope. All the best and keep fighting! 

Hi Ryan - who will be left to grieve you? How will they feel? Will they blame themselves because they didn't see it coming? Will they feel rage because you have done this? What will happen to you? Will there be complete oblivion? Will you cease to exist? Will you relive the pain caused by your act? Will you see how you interrupted the span of your life and failed to be here when your presence was crucial for some event? Crucial for someone else? Will you have to relive your life as it has been to get past that point you chose to leave? Will it be harder the next time around? Will things seem even more bleak than this time?

Forget about trying rope for size. Don't go down that path. Pick up your phone and call the doctor. Make an appointment to discuss what you are feeling. It is your job to explore every possible avenue to help yourself before you even contemplate what you are describing. There is help if you look for it. There's a future for you. Meanwhile we are always here to talk.

Hi Ryan. To be honest. My doctor has put me on  anti depressant. Citalopram.   It has helped me big time. 4 / 5 weeks ago I was trying to figure out the easiest way to die but what  stopped me was the fact I don't want to upset  my family.  Please go see your doctor.  What has happened in your life to make you depressed ? 

Hi Ryan,

Even though you might not think it or feel it, there are people out there that care about you, right here all these people commenting care about you otherwise they wouldnt take the time to write. always remember this.

Always remember also, that if anything did happen, how would your family find out? how would they cope? your birthday every year would turn into the blackest day of the year because you weren't there. Every Christmas would be awful. You are feeling awful now but IT IS temporary, if you were no longer here, that isn't temporary for your family. Thats the rest of life. I have been exactly where you are several times, and I planned it and fantasized and thought about it for hours and then I thought about after, how I'd be found, what mess I'd be in and I honestly could not put my family through that. 

We are always here whenever you need.