1. Community
  2. Infections
  3. Genital Herpes Simplex

Initiating sex after diagnosis

Posted , 7 users are following.

josiphine24649
josiphine24649

Me and my BF haven't had sex since before I was diagnosed. We see eachother on the weekends-last weekend I had my first ob so obviously we didn't, this weekend he has the flu, but my ob ended

He's we'll aware that I was diagnosed last week & says it won't change a thing

But what's it like having sex for the first time after you know you have this? I miss making love so bad but I feel like the whole time I'm going to feel self conscious & worried sad

0 likes, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • Koolredd
    Koolredd josiphine24649

    Posted

    If you ask me sex will never be the same . I recently did it and it feels a little painful at first . You gotta get use to it , and some people can be sensitive to the rough sex and all that ., can't say I have had that issue yet. I only had one outbreak so far .

    But sex before I got diagnosed to now . Is just blain. I seriously am not too much interested in it . If and when I do have sex I Always make sure it's at night time I'm so insecure and it's hard for me to see down there clearly so I always ask my boyfriend if I'm clearing up of not .

    Are you on suppressive medicine ? I take it as he Isn't diagnosed with it ?

    I guess it's different for everyone who has it .

    what type do you have ?

    • josiphine24649
      josiphine24649 Koolredd

      Posted

      I have hsv-1

      I'm 99 percent sure that I got it from him giving me oral (he gets coldsores on his mouth at least once a year) so from what I've heard it would be really hard for him to catch it on his genitals? My doctor didn't put me on treatment, since I've just had one outbreak, and although there were a lot of sores, it didn't even last a week. I'm sore free now thank you for your advice! Not sure how to go about this

  • jacqueline05484
    jacqueline05484 josiphine24649

    Posted

    josiphine, this is such a big issue now in society please don't feel ashamed or reluctant to have sexual relations.  It is a little difficult to have relations during an outbreak as many nerve systems are involved and like others have said, it is different for everyone.  I would wait until I was cleared up and let my boyfriend know all repercussions of having sexual relations with you now that you have the virus.  If it doesn't bother him, then don't let it bother you.  I agree you should be on suppresive drugs as they keep you from possibly breaking out so often. I sincerely wish you the best and as I always say, if it doesn't feel good, don't do it.

    When it feels better, proceed.

                                              Fellow sufferer

     

  • tiffini_a85221
    tiffini_a85221 josiphine24649

    Posted

    You said he had the flu thats a symptom of herpes
    • Koolredd
      Koolredd tiffini_a85221

      Posted

      I figured if they both have herpes it shouldn't be that big of a deal should it ? Just as long as they don't do anything while having an outbreak ..

      Correct me if I'm wrong because I'm new to all this .

    • jacqueline05484
      jacqueline05484 Koolredd

      Posted

      I didn't realize she said her partner had the virus.  The only thing is you can have both if I am not mistaken.  If they both have the same kind and it doesn't hurt either of them to proceed, no I guess it doesn't hurt.  Not quite sure on that as I am not a Dr. and there is probably much to be learned yet of the HSV 1 & 2.  Like what other effects does it have on the body long term and how does suppresive meds affect the body long term.  
    • josiphine24649
      josiphine24649 tiffini_a85221

      Posted

      It can be! But he carries hsv1 & has since he was a kid-a couple of his relatives do. So I'm confidant that's where I got it through oral because now I have hsv-1 on my genitals! Just not sure what the chances are of it possibly spreading to his genitals😕
    • tiffini_a85221
      tiffini_a85221 Koolredd

      Posted

      If you both have it, it won't cause an outbreak but it could be uncomfortable.
  • josiphine24649
    josiphine24649

    Posted

    I imagine it hurts incredibly bad to have sex on an outbreak, defiantly won't do that, but can having herpes change the way sex feels, when there's no syntoms?
    • Nicki.J
      Nicki.J josiphine24649

      Posted

      I had my first OB in October and had sex after and nothing changed. Nothing feels different or off or anything like that so dont worry. But yeah, would definately wait until after the OB to have sex. that WOULD be uncomfortable
    • m28548
      m28548 Nicki.J

      Posted

      Out of curiosity are you on any suppressive meds?  I haven't had sex since I was exposed and had my first outbreak, but I am now spending time with someone new.  I feel like things are going well, so I had that awkward conversation with him to tell him that I have HSV2, and he said that it wouldn't stop him from wanting to date me.  We haven't rushed into anything, and I am glad that we are taking it slow, but I am looking forward to getting physical again. Since the worst of my symptoms from the initial OB have gone, I've since had a bad yeast infection, and now I almost feel like I have BV.  I'm nervous that I won't feel completely normal again sad

      I'm glad you said that sex didn't feel different to you, because someone else has posted that it is 'never the same' and that scares me.

    • Nicki.J
      Nicki.J m28548

      Posted

      I am not on any suppressive medication cause mine is very mild. My first outbreak was one tiny leison that I wouldn't have even known if I didn't go to the doctor. I know it varies in severity for everyone differently. My sister has a severe case of it and her sex life is still healthy.

      As far as the yeast and bv, I used to get all that all the time before my HSV-2 diagnosis and its VERY annoying. Just get all the right meds you need for it and everything should clear up soon. I had both at once before along with a UTI so I feel you! lol - just hang in there!

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus josiphine24649

    Posted

    If your bf has Type 1 orally, then he should be largely protected from acquiring it genitally, but exceptions exist. The advice for someone in his position, if he doesn't want it genitally as well, is to avoid exposing his genitals to lesions.

    Sex during an outbreak is not going to be fun anyway, as it may hurt you, make your outbreak even worse, and cause you to worry about transmission. Best to therefore avoid sex during outbreaks and prodromes.

    Having said that, you will likely not have many recurrences with Type 1, if at all, and they should be much milder if and when you do. Once you have had it for 4 months (or 6 months to be extra safe), you should also be largely protected from acquiring it orally, so be careful until then and still avoid cold sores/lesions as best practice.

    P.S. Type 1 affords only limited "protection" against Type 2 and dual infections are possible. Just saying for future reference!

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.