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Intrusive thoughts taking over

Posted , 5 users are following.

beth79547
beth79547

My anxiety is winning. My only release is writing how i truly feel on here without anyone judging me thinking im insane.

Everyday i feel anxious, i get nausea, dizziness and suffer with ibs. My anxiety is affecting my family life and my long term relationship. I dont enjoy life at the moment and feel helpless at some point everyday.

The doctors are useless, CBT didwork and i cant afford weekly trips to a hypnotherapist. Its all started from my extreme phobia of sickness. Everytime i feel even the slightest but dodgy i automatically conjur the worst scenarios in my head. I am not afriad of death so i dont think im dying i just dont want to be ill e.g sickness and diarheeah. Irrational i know but real and scary.

Its gotten worse over the years and even worse these past 6 months.

I dont know what to do anymore? I refuse to take medication as the effects long term and side effects short term are not good sad

I just need constant reasurance and someone to vent to!

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • shez32
    shez32 beth79547

    Posted

    Hey Beth I suffer a similar issue. My anixty makes me had stupid thoughts it's actually crippling as sometimes I belive my thoughts and think I have all sorts of issues. I currently have a tension head ache so all sorts of anxious thoughts of creeping in. The only thing I seem to do is try and occupy my mind, but it's hard as i feel I go in to my own world when they start and feel like am fighting with my self over my own thoughts. When I am busy they seem less frequent but still try to chip at me. Some days I see them as just thoughts. My cbt said I hsve like ocd thoughts and to see them as equal thoughts. She said brown table thought is equal to a thought as am ill or am dying bla bla. Makes sense as thoughts can't physically hurt us ha.

    It's all just anixtey but so hard to see this somedays. Mine come and go with different topics I just try to allow them space.

    Also talking is good at least we can can all let of steam on the forum ha.

  • shez32
    shez32 beth79547

    Posted

    Not sure if my reply went through or not.

    Just wrote a mini essay too ha Arh bugger..

    Oh well It might duplicate.

    I waa just saying I suffer a similar issue.

    My anxity causes me anxouis thinking. I get random topics often. It's annoying as it is just anxiety and most days I can see it as that, but somedays it's hard and I belive my thoughts. It's so stupid as i know I'm not dying etc but like today' I've had tbis awful tension head ache qnd feeling worked up qnd it's led my head to go in over drive. I've ranted on here all day for the first time. Ha.

    I find if I occupy my self I get them less but siting around doing nothing I end up with allsorts thrown at me. Some so stupid but yet so crippling. I've been convinced with my thoughts about 6 months am dying from no idea what.. Anxious thinking maybe ha. When I get my anxity attacks my thoughts go million miles an hour and are so scary and I belive all the symptoms ib my body that am feeling from anxiety are going to kill me and going to pass out and die. I often end up in bed shaking from it. Then I calm down and see it as just anxiety making me thoughts go awol.

    • shez32
      shez32

      Posted

      My cbt tutor told me that it's ocd But the obsessing part. But she did tell me that each thought carries the same wEight

      Eg a brown table is equal to the thought am going to die or am ill etc. I understand this but at times its hard to see it as i actually belived I was dying for 6 months. I'm slowly learning to see that maybe am not and it's jeust my low tired mind playing tricks to try scare me with my worst fears. Apparently anxitey loves to latch on to negative thoughts. It says it's it's not so much the thought it's the reaction to your thought so some allow them space and see them as just a thought but some try pish them ouT. I try to just dismiss them and think of something nice instead. No magic pill for me just power of my own mind as I'm in control of my own thoughts. Most people who get these thoughts are kind loving people who just care maybe too much hAHa.

      Alot or of people write theee thothoughts on paper qnd then bin them. Some cbt tutors told me to imagine a stream in your mind qnd let it down only pick out the nice thoughts. Some say make a waste bin in your head and bin them. Ha. Whatever works for some a guess . Personally I find distractings my self and telling my self it'd just anixty try not to react to it as hard as it is. Hopefully in time we all get over it or at least learn to cope :-)

      Shez

    • beth79547
      beth79547 shez32

      Posted

      Its so hard, today im at work in a silent panic for no reason. If i get to hot i freak out and because im anxious my temperature rises and also i loose my apetite. So then im left wondering why cant i eat and why am i hot is it really my anxiety!?? Its like 1 step forward a million steps back! Theres nothing wrong with me i know but theres always that chance! I have a holiday coming in may and im scared im going to ruin it i need to nip this is the bud now and snap out of it but its so hard.
    • shez32
      shez32 beth79547

      Posted

      I feel your pain Beth I've woke up in a right state, I'm convinced I'm dying from feeling like fluey for a few week. I've called docs they are like we'll what are u dying from.? I said I don't know. They said the symptoms your describing are not that your dying more anixty. Just it feels so real. My sinuses feel like they are causing horrid head ache and got face and conjested all lngt I woke up loaDs..so my heads in over drive. I just can't reassure my self or calm down

      I'm out of answers .Wish I could belive docs when they say am ok I'm fit and healthy etc. I do try tell My self well if I was really bad surely I would feel worse by now as it's been years of anixty. I can't face going out the house todsy never mind work you should give your self credit for getting up and going that's really good. Inside you must be strong deep down. Remember don't worry it's obv just our anxitys trying to scare us today.

    • beth79547
      beth79547 shez32

      Posted

      yep anixety does strange things. Im ok but then but sometimes i panic then 10 minuets later im ok again lol! we just need to rememeber to take deep breaths and chill out!
  • Lauriejane
    Lauriejane beth79547

    Posted

    Hi Beth, you are not alone in this and you should not think for one minute that your mad. There are thousands of people with your disorder some on this site. I suffer from depressive anxiety with health as focus myself I know the pain Iit causes I imagine the worst. Anxiety feeds anxiety and makes your body sensations feel worse. You should not be afraid of taking medication as It can allow you to break out of this debilitating cycle that you are in. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your GP. Ian
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