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Intrusive thoughts up and down?

Posted , 9 users are following.

Star1711
Star1711

Does anyone else have ‘good’ days where the intrusive thoughts don’t bother them as much but then other days where they just won’t stop and let you go about things?! I feel like I’m having one of those days 🙄😪 I had a good sleep, not a particularly stressful day, but my brain is on a non stop merry go round with lots of rubbish today. I feel like I’ve improved lots with my anxiety (not 100% yet) but these thoughts keep holding me back. To everyone else who doesn’t know me that well, or for those around me who don’t fully understand anxiety, I look fine, you’d never guess what I’ve been going through, but I don’t feel ‘fine’ knowing what I’m still feeling. Would love to hear some success stories please, just feeling super fed up. I miss being carefree and not feeling like some sort of prisoner in my own head. I’m fine when I’m out or among company, but when I’m alone the thoughts just appear and are at the forefront of everything. I know they’re not true and I’ve been trying to be more ‘accepting’ of these thoughts but today I just feel so sick of having them. I don’t feel like the medication has calmed them down at all yet...they became present a few days before I started medication, when my anxiety hit rock bottom. I’m not as scared of them as I was, more uncomfortable now, but I just detest them and they make me feel rubbish. Are the thoughts one of the lash things to go? I’ve been on 30mg of citalopram for 2 weeks now. Still early days.

1 like, 39 replies

39 Replies

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  • gemma77546
    gemma77546 Star1711

    Posted

    Hi Star, I’m on week nine of citalopram at 20mg and I’m just starting to see a difference. I’m not getting them during the day every day now, so for the last four days they’ve effected me during the day just once. Mornings are still hard for me but I feel like I’m getting better very slowly. I still have to take zoplicone to sleep through the night though, if I don’t take it then I get anxious in the night and that then sets me back for the day. I’m just hoping to get stronger each day with the anxiety becoming less and less then I’ll be more ready to tackle the nights, I hope.🤞

    • Star1711
      Star1711 gemma77546

      Posted

      That’s great Gemma, glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better and the medication is starting to be more effective. It sounds like you’re on the right path!
  • rebecca96696
    rebecca96696 Star1711

    Posted

    Update I’m on week 5 of 10mg of cit and I feel so much better a lot happier male anxiety has really subsided. Everyone bear with it it’s worth it when it’s starts working. Hope you all feel better soon 😊

  • Paula2019
    Paula2019 Star1711

    Posted

    Hi Star

    It can feel like two steps forward and one step back..........go with it, it can get very exhausting, you have got this far, and as you rightly say its early days.  I remember something a counsellor said to me years ago, she advised me that as I had experienced lots of adrenaline rushes, it can get addictive.  She was right in my case, because, when things settled I used to panic as felt it was the lull before the storm, so to speak, I was so used to feeling anxious I couldn't cope when I didn't..  Awful feeling!  now I am the opposite, so it is possible to recover.

    • Star1711
      Star1711 Paula2019

      Posted

      Hi Paula,

      Thank you. I guess it just feels disheartening when I feel ‘normal’ again in some ways but not at the same time. It’s a strange feeling. What your counsellor said makes a lot of sense actually...I guess it’s like our mind goes looking for anxiety in a way as it’s been there for so long that it gets used to it. My mind certainly feels that way 🙄

    • Paula2019
      Paula2019 Star1711

      Posted

      Hi Star

      Absolutely right, for me it became a habit, it takes time to not only settle on meds but to change our thought processes. Just remember the eating elephant saying.  Also keep a close eye on any side effects you are getting too, list them all.  How are you feeling compared to being on the 20mg dose?

    • Star1711
      Star1711 Paula2019

      Posted

      Hi Paula, 

      I didn’t really have any physical side effects when i increased to 20mg or again when I increased to 30mg. I think this time around I’ve noticed changes in my mood. I do feel a bit more emotional at times and a bit down and I can’t explain why. Did this happen to you at this stage?  My sleep has improved a little though since increasing the dose x

    • Paula2019
      Paula2019 Star1711

      Posted

      My cita was increased just over a year ago from 20mg to 30mg. Alot of last year is a blank and have spent since December to now piecing everything together.

      I remember feeling sad and dead, thats the only way I can describe it, with some health anxiety due to lots of what I now know was neurological side effects, which got worse and worse. I cant remember how long after the increase but I ended up in hospital. After that I had hemiplegic migraines. Look Star its clear to me since being on this forum that my experience with this is different to most, so please do not let what I say scare you. Just be aware and try not to get anxious with feeling anxious, otherwise it will drive you nuts.

    • lois95799
      lois95799 Paula2019

      Posted

      You know Paula my phychiatrist doesn't like to up the dosage ..she says that when she does all hell brakes loose either in the beginning process of celexa or when weaning..she says alot of her patients become worst with side effects..iam so glad to have her ...

    • Paula2019
      Paula2019 lois95799

      Posted

      Lois all hell breaking lose is spot on, you are very lucky to have her, thank you for telling me.
    • Paula2019
      Paula2019 lois95799

      Posted

      What makes me so mad, is when I realised that it was side effects and nothing sinister, the doctors or my friends did not believe me. One doctor said to me when I told her the meds have made me ill, that if I refuse these they the doctors cannot help me. I got up walked out and filed a complaint. Shocking!
    • Paula2019
      Paula2019

      Posted

      Also my boyfriend at the time didnt believe me and advised me to see a shrink, thought I was going a bit crazy, I finished with him. Needless to say he believes me now. Too late. I was completely alone fighting for my health, and am now proud of myself. Dont let people tell you how you feel, you know yourself better than anyone.
    • Star1711
      Star1711 Paula2019

      Posted

      Thank you for your advice Paula. I’m just trying to go about doing ‘normal’ things at the moment. I met up with a friend yesterday and we had some lunch. It was good to not focus on me for a little while, I haven’t met anyone for lunch in months. I’ll keep the awareness. I did notice an improvement in how I felt 6 weeks or so into my 20mg increase so I’ll just keep reminding myself everything is a gradual process. Thank you everyone for your support 🤗 x

  • rebecca96696
    rebecca96696 Star1711

    Posted

    Hi star 

    Let me just say intrusive thoughts are the worst but if your anxiety is improving then they should start to settle down. The thought is scaring you and triggering your anxiety and it’s hard to see past why you think these things but it’s normal everyone has intrusive thoughts  just some of us have the horrid anxiety that comes with it because we are scared of the thought and the more you try to push it out of your mind the more the anxiety kicks in. It’s horrible and I wouldn’t wish this feeling apon anyone. I’ve been on cit for 5 weeks only 10mg for same thing and I feel so much better I feel back to normal almost. Hope same results come your way soon 

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