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Intrusive thoughts up and down?

Posted , 9 users are following.

Star1711
Star1711

Does anyone else have ‘good’ days where the intrusive thoughts don’t bother them as much but then other days where they just won’t stop and let you go about things?! I feel like I’m having one of those days 🙄😪 I had a good sleep, not a particularly stressful day, but my brain is on a non stop merry go round with lots of rubbish today. I feel like I’ve improved lots with my anxiety (not 100% yet) but these thoughts keep holding me back. To everyone else who doesn’t know me that well, or for those around me who don’t fully understand anxiety, I look fine, you’d never guess what I’ve been going through, but I don’t feel ‘fine’ knowing what I’m still feeling. Would love to hear some success stories please, just feeling super fed up. I miss being carefree and not feeling like some sort of prisoner in my own head. I’m fine when I’m out or among company, but when I’m alone the thoughts just appear and are at the forefront of everything. I know they’re not true and I’ve been trying to be more ‘accepting’ of these thoughts but today I just feel so sick of having them. I don’t feel like the medication has calmed them down at all yet...they became present a few days before I started medication, when my anxiety hit rock bottom. I’m not as scared of them as I was, more uncomfortable now, but I just detest them and they make me feel rubbish. Are the thoughts one of the lash things to go? I’ve been on 30mg of citalopram for 2 weeks now. Still early days.

1 like, 39 replies

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  • rebecca96696
    rebecca96696 Star1711

    Posted

    Also yes with me the thoughts were my last thing to go week 4 they subsided good luck!! 😊

    • Star1711
      Star1711 rebecca96696

      Posted

      Hi Rebecca thank you, I hope so too! That’s good you are feeling better and the medication started working for you fairly quickly. 
  • rebecca96696
    rebecca96696 Star1711

    Posted

    Also yes with me the thoughts were my last thing to go week 4 they subsided good luck!! 😊

  • babysteps
    babysteps Star1711

    Posted

    Oh wow Star - you could have written my story!   I'm in exactly the same position as you.  I have got through the worst days and I'm back to doing my hair, wearing make up and choosing an outfit to wear rather than leggings and a hoody.  This is progress for me.  So, on the outside I look 'well' again.   But in my head it still is so debilitating sometimes and intrusive thoughts are back again.  They seemed to have dissipated but I returned to work this week and it has caused a setback I think.  I had a massive panic attack at work on my last day there and I've been off for nearly four months.   Anyway, the anxiety and intrusive thoughts and very horrible this week.   I am on 20mg of citalopram and have been doing face to face CBT.   Both are helping but there are times when I'm just so bored of it all and wish for days when I didn't self analyse constantly.    I have been really open with colleagues about why I was off for so long - most are so surprised at what I have been going through, one person today said I was the pinnacle of someone that they considered had it all together and complete confidence.    She was so shocked that I told her I was off with anxiety and panic attacks.   My sleep is still disrupted and I take zopiclone a couple of times a week.   It had improved so I hope it will continue to improve.  One thing I do realise from being so open about my anxiety is that I'm not alone - I have discovered at least three other people at work on AD's!   Probably more.    I've been on the cit for about 11 weeks - first 5 at 10mg and last 6 on 20mg.   It has helped as I have made progress in my life and activities and I know there is time for further improvement too.   The CBT has been great.   Anyway, onwards and upwards.   Try not to despair too much.   The 

    clouds will pass and blue sky is on its way!   X 

    • Star1711
      Star1711 babysteps

      Posted

      Hi babysteps,

      Yep, that’s how I am...I am back to wearing some make up and thinking about what to wear each day rather than throwing on a baggy jumper and some jeans whilst my hair looks a mess lol. So as I said I look ‘normal’ but I’m tired of the constant thoughts and thinking 🙄 

      I know what you mean, I have found out that a number of people in my family and social circle have had anxiety, I was quite shocked. Just goes to show, you don’t really know what people have gone through, no one really talks about anxiety. 

      Thank you, I hope you manage to make more improvements in your recovery, gotta keep going and not give up x

  • lois95799
    lois95799 Star1711

    Posted

    Unlike you I didn't look normal I look like I had a missing marble...but that's all behind me now..I look back and always say what the hell was that...

    • Star1711
      Star1711 lois95799

      Posted

      That’s great that you recovered Lois and are now able to pass advice to others 
    • Paula2019
      Paula2019 lois95799

      Posted

      You and me both Lois, I look back and am shocked!  I am over my last taper and what a great feeling, my final taper is next Tuesday, just taking a break then preparing my family and friends for the next episode.  then its tapering off Citalorapram, am so nervous about that one, will take it nice and slow, and if its true that Amit is harder, then I should be ok.  We will see. 
    • lois95799
      lois95799 Paula2019

      Posted

      Definitely the amitryptyline is way harder...do the celexa real slow..
    • Paula2019
      Paula2019 lois95799

      Posted

      6 week tapers???? that's what I am planning does that sound ok? am I right in saying that the side effects can be delayed and rear their ugly head a few weeks into it?  Thank you so much.

    • Paula2019
      Paula2019

      Posted

      I meant withdrawals not side effects
    • lois95799
      lois95799 Paula2019

      Posted

      Im having a difficult time answering the 6week tapering for you .I think it should be longer so you don't suffered delay discontinuation symptoms...

    • Paula2019
      Paula2019 lois95799

      Posted

      Hi Lois

      I was thinking 2.5mg reduction for approx. 6 weeks, or depending on when I feel back to normal, but not less than 6 weeks.  Its the delayed discontinuation symptoms I am concerned about. 

    • lois95799
      lois95799 Paula2019

      Posted

      The disconnect symptoms seem to always start at the last dosage ..so stay on the Last dosage for as long as possible..
    • Paula2019
      Paula2019 lois95799

      Posted

      Thanks Lois, I just started a new thread before I saw your answer, felt bad hijacking Stars thread again.  I will take your advice regarding the last dosage that makes sense to me.
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