is it a good thing or a bad thing? bit confused😕

Well the poor bloke got diagnosed with cancer and died withi  2weeks😩... but my fear has always been the dreaded "C" word, so this is y im a bit confused and dont know what to think 😕 thanks for replying ☺ xx

That's ok. Try and talk as much as you can about it, it will help if you air your fears and come to terms with it x

Thanks gillian a lot of what u have said makes sense, ive figured it out but dont know what the hell to do with it😕 im feeling really confused, im just pathetic what am i going to do avoid funerals forever 😢 xx

I know it may be a good thing ive noticed what it is but how do i deal with it??? I just dont know, yes they are part of life....i just cant understand why his funeral has affected me so bad😕 my partner is brilliant And yeah ur right it is really hard for him, he tries his best to help me through this anxiety, i feel awful on him as im not the same person and i just want to be happy again xx

You will be happy again...as we get older, our thought process changes... We lose people or we support others through sadness and loss, and some people who are prone to anxiety take it deeper, take longer to process these things... That's you and me, and lots of the lovely people on this forum. We search for answers and support. You have children now, being a parent can often trigger these deep fears without us realising it because our children are our life and it is our instinct to protect and be there for them. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal, we are only human! Since i have had anxiety i have realised how many people deal with it daily that i never knew were in the same boat and they keep it hidden and suffer in silence. I am not ashamed of being the way i am, i like that i am an empath and a sensitive soul, and now that i am learning to accept it, its getting much better. You are who you are, Gaz obviously loves you and you will get there in the end and accept you just have to keep an eye on your mental health more closely and ask for help sometimes. I hope this helps, i always worry in case my posts come across as a little patronising, but as i am coming out the other end now myself i just want people to know there is light at the end of the tunnel xxx

Do u hell sound patronising...i appreciate ur views and comments and i think its brilliant ur coming out the other end now☺ wish i were haha i will feel better if everything comes bk ok with my smear xx

You will yes, and you will pick up again xx  and it doesn't mean you won't be able to go to funerals, you will just be more aware to keep an eye on yourself and watch your thoughts more closely in the future.. It comes with experience. I feel like Gillian and I are the mummies in here, i have never met any of you guys but i feel very protective over you all.... Must be my empty nest now that my babies are leaving i need some new ones to worry about! 

Awww yeah u and gillian definately are the mums of the group which is a good thing😊 how have u managed to get through this? Im only 27 and dont want to be like this worrying over ever ache and pain...ive always been a worrier but never like this i cant get my head round how im going to be able to stop it and feel normal again, im scared of being happy now just incase my results come bk with something wrong or incase anything else happens... i know it probably sounds ridiculous but thats how its got me now xx

No it doesn't sound ridiculous at all. We have all been there! I was at the point where i could not go food shopping without my mother with me... I have run a house for 25 years and suddenly i was a quivering wreck. I was having panic attacks in the middle of the night and whilst driving and was calling my ex husband to come and sit with me in case i died in the night... Even typing about a panic attack is bringing me close to having one, but i am seeing a very good therapist and am 6 weeks into medication and i am starting to feel more positive. This has been the longest and the darkest place i have ever been to, but im not ready to give in to it! I have 3 lovely kids who have grown up and made lives of their own and i want to be a cheerful and healthy granny when they have kids one day. I know i am getting better because i am remembering that life is a gift and im trying to find the positives in every day and not living in fear of bad things happening. Through all of this i have maintained my job and not taken any time off, work keeps me busy, i work with toddlers, its a joy. There have been times when i thought i would go mad, but like you i have good support... You will get there huni xx

Well i hope i come out the other side like u☺ do u think i should ring the doctors and ask them if any results are bk or should i leave it? Xx

You will!  Ah thats a tough one, if it were me, i would ring, but i know what my docs would say... They would say we will ring as soon as they know anything at all and then i would feel silly for pestering them. If its torturing you, it won't hurt to ring, but im sure if there was a problem they would have rung you.

Well i had it done tuesday so dont know weather to ring or not, im the same i feel stupid if i ring but then if i dont im pondering... xx

They will understand im sure... They have lots of patients who want an answer quickly. How long did the doc say the results would take?

Ive just rung them and nothing is bk yet... not sure what to think of that??? She told me to ring bk tuesday😣 alls i keep trying to think is that those bloods i had done in september would of shown something if something was wrong, my family keep telling me this and the doctor did say it would of, but me being me still worries 😕 xx

I totally get it, but you have got to try and switch off from it for a little while or you really will drive yourself bonkers till Tuesday! Has the discharge got a little better?

No im still losing the discharge when i wipe every now and again i just feel sick im so worried coz ive had another thought...what if its bladder cancer😢😢 and hes mistaken it for a water infection, he did test my urine tho????? 😭FFS its never ending xx

You need to do some relaxation huni, try your hardest to keep telling yourself there is no reason why it should be one of those nasty illnesses, get out in the fresh air if you can even for 15 minutes, phone someone for a  chat, but don't suffer! I do know how you feel and its awful but you are young and i assume otherwise healthy...

I kno its just so hard 😢 im ending up an absolute nervous wreck for a whole week now my anxiety is through the roof, why am.i constantly thinking bad things ??? Its awful is this xx

Awe Nicola....Us women have so much to put up with as far as "women's things" are concerned. There are times for all of us when things don't seem what we would cakes as "right" downstairs!! It's a pain in the butt but I know for some of us,that once that seed is set in our heads that it could be something else...all the reassurance in the world doesn't help make us feel better. A lot of the time we need proof,validation that we are going to be ok...that it's not what our worse fear tells us it is.

I wish I knew how to talk you down from this. All I know is it is thought that came with a feeling of anxiety and you must tell yourself over and over that you are going to be ok...It's just a anxious thought.

I know how awful it is. I had a ok day yesterday and today I feel a quite ropey again. It's no fun. We don't just want to get by and cope,we want our lives back to how they where before this nightmare.

I think it starts with days where we cope better and eventually them days turn to good days with no thoughts or fears...and at that point maybe the occasional bad day that may rock the boat a little but we find it easier to get back on track,push them thoughts away or don't react to the,

((((HUG))))) xxx

I don't know what "cakes" had anything to do with that reply. Spell check is worse than me at getting thing right

i just read your post and the phrase "empath and a sensitive soul' jumped out at me.  I have found that I may be an empath as well and am trying to find information to confirm it.  How did you come to this realization?  My experience with taking on the feelings and illnesses of other that I am close to has made me think this is what I am.