is it social anxiety?

Posted , 3 users are following.

Ive posted something similar before in depression but probably it wasn't the correct place

I have a weak personality, low self esteem and no confident and I'm stupid. for now I feel like interacting with some people generates my “I hate myself” feeling. I hate how weak and stupid I am. to my friends I’m pretty sure I seem that sweet, kind, and dorky person who goofs around a lot cuz this is what I show, I always pretend I don't know and I don't know why but I wish I’d stop

Im starting to realise I'm the one causing my self frustration..I have this huge fear of people judgment and what they will think/say about me. I cant be myself nor I know what is myself..I feel so stupid and a whole embarrassment.I feel everyone hates me,and I hate everyone. I think negatively about them,I always say to myself that I want to be alone or I'm better off alone but when I'm really alone I feel pathetic , and the people passing me sees me pathetic too and I get this feeling that every one is looking at me, gossiping me… when I'm speaking with people I'm comfortable with and I noticed someone near us looking at me after saying particular thing i cling my teeth thinking whether what I said was stupid

today my sister’s friend texted me saying she wants to pay her a surprise visit, that just stressed me out so much to the point I’d cry..stressed about what if this whole surprise thing failed ? its gonna be my fault and this actually happened before when other friends wanted to surprise her for her birthday I was stressed for a week and I thought its not gonna happen again but here I go, and I’ve got exams coming up next week.I really don't like interacting with her friends

I hate why I'm like this, I don't want to care about what others will think about me..I don't want to be weak..when you talk to people about this, they may see you dramatic and extreme and get fed up with you..but really this is something I cant help..I thought this may be social anxiety “I could be wrong” but Im buying cognitive behavioural therapy books , if you may recommend some books too I’d be very thankful and thank you, the story about my sister’s friend got me so much that I wanted to talk about, sorry if this post seems odd and not connected together I had all the things in my head but couldn't get it written.

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  • Posted

    Hi not odd at all. I think we are all on here searching for answers as to why we feel

    Anxiety/ panic and depression.

    It sounds like to me like it's depression? Do you get anxiety feelings when you chat? All jittery, sick etc

    It's not abnormal to worry what people think... Some of us are built that way. I'm the same. I can't switch off and worry if I offend anyone. Where as a few of my friends shrug their shoulders... It's just part of who we are. You are not stupid at all.

    Talking to people who can relate to anxiety helps, talking to a friend or a family member is good too. My friends can spot me having a bad day just lately... This whole panic and anxiety is new to me and I feel a failure as I can't do the most basic tasks like helping my 15 year old daughter with homework.

    It's hard mate it really is... But you have people on here who can help x

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    • Posted

      hey Louise thank you for taking time to reply to my post

      I feel uncomfortable/stressed and sometimes I get heat sensation on my ears but not much..I mainly avoid to talk to people whom I feel Im going to get stressed and think about what I said and stick to the ones I know Im comfortable with.I talk to my sister on what happens and how I feel but I think it just starting to bore her and she doesn't want to hear me over thinking every little thing

      as feeling failure I know what you mean..I see my self failed as a big sister since she doesn't talk to me about her problems because I won't be able to help her nor know what to say, Im not reliable in those things 

      thank you so much really, your words means a lot :”)

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    • Posted

      sad it's tough. I know what you mean though. you can over think things and it makes it worse, talking can make it bigger... I have found that as I have made people aware I'm struggling.

      Go out of your comfort zone and join a class, hobby X easier said than done but I push myself into situations I hate as I think it's not going to beat me!!!!

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    • Posted

      exactly sad sometimes you tell people you wish you didn't 

      I dont have the courage to do that..Im just scared of expressing opinion as I worry they’re stupid

      for you to push yourself into situations you hate thats really brave :”) I envy you I know that doing so would help a lot but Im too damn chickend..for hobby I draw alittle but frustrated on not improving xD

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    • Posted

      I don't think it is built in us, but taught.  I know because I had an overreactive parent that contributed to my thinking. I could not do anythin right.  Well, that programs our thinking.  Louise you need counseling to help unprogram all that negative thinking.  Seek help with counseling.
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  • Posted

    You seem to have depression above all. Maybe best to see a doctor and find out for sure. im not sure a book can make the changes you need. anxiety tricks and understanding can be self taught but depression and self hatred thing needs guidance and possibly medication.
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    • Posted

      I dont know sad all this is inside me and it doesnt seem affecting my life that badly to be called depression or anxiety? its true that somtime I feel so low to the point I dont want to study for an exam but I manage eventually and still kinad get good marks..I still go out, communicate..maybe its like something that I do that make people react like this to me.. my lack of knowledge that make me feel stupid ,how I over think every little thing and how I cant speak well and handle difficult situation. thats why I asked for books that maybe could help me improve myself..its not to the degree of depression/anexiety

      the problem is I dont know! I dont know how to react to things cuz Im afraied my reaction will be too much while it wasnt needed

      sorry if my post seems unconnected..and thank you for taking time to read and reply

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    • Posted

      Research "self-esteem"  It seems that you may be suffering from low self esteem at times?  We all do, and we all can benefit from talking nicely to ourselves.  Try to tell yourself that "I am worthy of feeling good about myself"  When you do simple things for self, washing your dishes, tell yourself "I care about myself, by doing something good for myself, and keeping my things clean"  take this and apply it to all the things you do for yourself.  Maybe if you have a smart phone find downloads of positive self affirmations?
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    • Posted

      I do , I have low self esteem and im weak and stupid..Im so stupid..if I feel my stupidity everyday that prevents me from doing as you said..even if I did something for me and encouraged myself for it it wont have that huge impact because I still didnt beat the main issue which is feeling stupid and useless..yesterday I asked the librarian to make copies for 2 chapters and told her its for our exam on thursday..one of them was not actually included in the test , I cant even make out if I mistook and realised it later or I knew but still said it so she print the other cuz if I didnt she wont im so confused, but im sure i talked to one or couple people and told them I put the 1st and 3rd chapter which is not included..I thought they would know and distinguish between them ,but alot mistook it and started studying both! I thought they would know..I feel horrible to the point I want to cry! I keep telling myself its not my fault and they should have known from the chapter content, but feels as my fault, am I really at fault ? I dont know if she told them this for the test, but if she did then its really is mine..Im scared of them blaming me , judging me, critsize me

      I didnt say anything because Im scared..and sacared by reading this you'll start judging me, I really didnt mean it I thought they'd know..I cant get it out of my mind its frustrating me so much I want to cry..I guess this show how frustrating/stupid person I am

      sorry I vent it all here on you..you dont have to reply me I just wanted to let it out.. and thank you for your reply I really appreciate it

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    • Posted

      Please don't be so hard on yourself.  We all make mistakes, yes everyone makes mistakes.  If making mistakes makes people stupid then everyone would be stupid! Yes I mean everyone would be stupid, because we all make mistakes all the time.  I have made more mistakes than I can count.  But I tell myself, yes I made some.  But I know I will learn from them.  And sometimes I made the same mistake over.  But I guess it just took a couple more times for me to learn.  Making mistakes is a learning process.  No one is perfect, perfection can never be reached!  You seem like a sensative person, which I believe is a character to have.  I am sensative myself.  This means us sensative people are more aware of other peoples feelings, and we will not be mean to others.  Do you have a bestfriend? Are you able to talk with them about your feelings?
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    • Posted

      thank you really for reading and replying me..I know that no one is perfect :”( I'm just scared of being judge based on my mistakes..I don't feel stupid only when I do mistakes..I feel generally stupid..my opinions are stupid..way of thinking is stupid , I don't know what to say the arrangement of speech is odd. I'm stupid because I let chances go away in many different things then I go on regretting it. I don't say a straight no I give stupid unrelated excuses..I heard the word stupid mainly from my family, they do tell me sometimes when I offer an opinion that its stupid, unrelated..I know that these should not mean anything but I just seem to take it to the heart.

      I do have best friends but I don't talk to them about this, I don't know why, I feel they won't understand and I won't feel comfortable if they know, they’re very outgoing and bold where I can't even ask the person behind me to remove their foot off my chair cuz they are bothering me while in class. I hate this its always about “what will they think of me” even if I was sitting on a stool in lab then we get up to see slides then everyone comes front for the attendance & somebody sets on my stool “its just a stool she could set on any other” “we’re finishing now” thats was I was afraid of getting ? I must’ve looked stupid standing. I'm frustrated and I'm a frustrating person.

      I dont want to be aware of others feelings, I pay so much attention for others feeling that I don't even care for mine. I don't know whats to be me nor is there even “me” ? everything I try to do/say has to be impressive, and more of what “they” would like 

       thank you again really,,what you’ve said actually made me feel little better, and sorry if my post seems unconnected

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    • Posted

      I know the feeling and the thoughts.  you have been programmed with that thinking by those most important to you, your parents.  You need to undue that way of thinking and reprogram yourself to be more compassionate to yourself.  This is where I think counseling can benefit you.  If you are not comfortable with that route.  Read self help books on building self esteem.  I don't know you personally, but I know deep down in side of you is a SURVIVOR!  Get a hold of that in you and stand up for self.  I am not advocating be selfish.  But get a hold of you inner strength and confidence and build on it.  There is a say "I think, therefore I am"  It is true in some aspects. But there is also neuroplasticity of the brain.  We can learn to unthink habits of thinking, and change the way we think about ourselfs and the world around us!  Focus on building yourself up, choosing people that genuinually care about you and your feelings.  Talk with them and get affirmation of who you really are.  Work on yourself.  Look up positive affirmations on self esteem and believe them, give them meaning.  I hope this helps. Remember you are the only one who stick up for yourself.  Your a lion!
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    • Posted

      thank you, thank you so much your words made me feel better : " ) I really appreciate it. Im gonna do like you said and start working on myself so thanks for all the advises and support. I wish you all the happiness in your life : " ). thanks again Michael.
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