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Hey everyone,
I hope everyone is doing good. I'm curious who has experienced similar symptoms to mine and if anyone has any tips on how to make it better.
I will try to make this as short and simple as possible.
I'm 25 years old and I'll start by saying I've always been an extremely sensitive person. My mom said that as a child I would be very easily upset by little things, there were a lot of cartoons I couldn't watch because something about them would scare me or I'd get upset by something and obsess about it for days and just cry. I was probably about 10 years old when this started. I've also always had severe social anxiety and when I was younger i always just thought that it was shyness and something that I would grow out of, but I definitley never did. I am basically the textbook definition of anxiety, even in high school if someone would talk to me if i wasnt expecting it, i was literally petrified, i would turn bright red and my voice would literally shake. Over the years i did find ways to manage it but i still experience this on a regular basis. Even though ive always had crippling anxiety, i had never really experienced depression until i turned 16. I have no idea what happened to me but i suddenly started feeling like life was just pointless, its like i had this dream life in my head and i could imagine how good life could be but it was just never as good as i pictured it. Here i am 9 years later and i still feel like im not right. For almost the past 7 years ive worked full time so im guessing thats enough to keep my mind distracted and get me by but thats the problem, im 25 years old and i feel like all im doing is getting by in life. i also have such a "we're all gonna die anyway so why does it even matter" mindset and its awful. i know that i can feel happiness because ive felt it but i dont understand why ive always been so prone to feeling sad and hopeless.
Please message me or comment if you have felt the same way. And also does this sound like anxiety and depression itself or does it sound like some other form of mental illness? Thanks in advance! And also, I have been to multiple doctors and gone to counseling about this, im just curious who else has experienced this and how they cope
0 likes, 4 replies
Neelie44567 taylor_17978
Posted
What have your doctors or counselors said about these symptoms? Have they recommended any treatment plan for you? It sounds like you have been struggling a long time. The right doctor or counselor will be able to steer you toward some good options for these symptoms.
taylor_17978 Neelie44567
Posted
Thank you so much for replying! I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and ocd. I know that these conditions can cause severe symptoms themselves, but sometimes I cant help but feel like i have some kind of personality disorder or something that goes beyond this. I know i probably sound dramatic when i say that but i just dont believe that a person is meant to suffer so bad and see the world so dark at times. Ive taken 3 different medications and i honestly just dont like the way i feel on them and getting off of them is pure hell. I do have some hope and Im open to try to find things to help me but Im also scared that this is something ill just have to deal with my whole life
rebekah77521 taylor_17978
Posted
Hi Taylor_17978,
You sound so much like me.
I am 24 and have also always been a very sensitive person. I thought I was just shy and hoped I would get better once I got to secondary school, then college, then uni, then work but I can now see that I have severe social anxiety as I can find even the smallest interactions quite distressing and want to cry afterwards. I have had anxiety and panic for years but only really developed depression in the last year as everything has been getting on top of me.
I'm not expecting to be a millionaire or have the best job or anything like that, I just don't see why life should be this hard. The hope I used to have that things would get better has gone now. I started January thinking this could be the year I feel better, feel like life is worth living but less than 2 months in and I've got that same 'we're all gonna die' mindset and I'm just waiting/hoping for that day to come. I'm currently having therapy which honestly hasn't helped yet but I've still got some sessions to go.
For both of us, it seems to be anxiety and depression. I guess I cope in that, like you, I work full time and seem ok on the outside but I do feel like I'm slowly drowning. Music and puzzles can help as well as deep breathing and just trying to distract myself from those dark moments. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk, I understand.
taylor_17978 rebekah77521
Posted
Hello! Thank you so much for replying. Yes i am the exact same way! Im 25 and i literally feel like i have the mentality of a second grader on their first day of school! I know anxiety is normal to an extent but i just cannot fathom that a person is meant to feel this way all the time. I also have weird triggers that can make me depressed, like certain movies, songs, and certain places which i know probably sounds crazy. As a child i always wondered why i was so upset by things that didnt even seem to phase other children and now as an adult it hasnt gotten much better. Its almost like i feel too much or something. I just wish i could feel the good things in life too, without my own brain getting in the way. I will message you! Thank you!
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