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I hope everyone is doing good. I'm curious who has experienced similar symptoms to mine and if anyone has any tips on how to make it better.
I will try to make this as short and simple as possible.
I'm 25 years old and I'll start by saying I've always been an extremely sensitive person. My mom said that as a child I would be very easily upset by little things, there were a lot of cartoons I couldn't watch because something about them would scare me or I'd get upset by something and obsess about it for days and just cry. I was probably about 10 years old when this started. I've also always had severe social anxiety and when I was younger i always just thought that it was shyness and something that I would grow out of, but I definitley never did. I am basically the textbook definition of anxiety, even in high school if someone would talk to me if i wasnt expecting it, i was literally petrified, i would turn bright red and my voice would literally shake. Over the years i did find ways to manage it but i still experience this on a regular basis. Even though ive always had crippling anxiety, i had never really experienced depression until i turned 16. I have no idea what happened to me but i suddenly started feeling like life was just pointless, its like i had this dream life in my head and i could imagine how good life could be but it was just never as good as i pictured it. Here i am 9 years later and i still feel like im not right. For almost the past 7 years ive worked full time so im guessing thats enough to keep my mind distracted and get me by but thats the problem, im 25 years old and i feel like all im doing is getting by in life. i also have such a "we're all gonna die anyway so why does it even matter" mindset and its awful. i know that i can feel happiness because ive felt it but i dont understand why ive always been so prone to feeling sad and hopeless.
Please message me or comment if you have felt the same way. And also does this sound like anxiety and depression itself or does it sound like some other form of mental illness? Thanks in advance! And also, I have been to multiple doctors and gone to counseling about this, im just curious who else has experienced this and how they cope
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