Posted , 3 users are following.
Recently, I've shared in the forum that I came up with a new eating plan to try to lose weight and keep my Crohn's disease from rearing its ugly head. It has only been this year, as the peri has taken hold, that I have hit my highest weight ever, but I've been struggling with a gradual weight gain off and on for several years now. Last weekend, I found that I had lost 1.5 pounds. But things got a bit scary this week.
My sister invited me on a one-week beach vacation with her and her two young sons. I came here determined to eat only healthy, Crohn's friendly foods and not to gain weight. For the first four days, I drove myself nuts, being extremely diligent about what I was eating, pushing myself to take long walks on the beach every morning and to go to the exercise room in our hotel daily. I was getting in about twice as much activity as I had at home, according to the unforgiving FitBit that I started wearing not long after I finished a month of recovery from my surgery (I've worn it daily for a month). For those four days, I got in about 5-6 miles per day of walking and also using a treadmill or exercise bike. I avoided having more than something small for a sweet treat, like a small cookie, once a day. And I was hungry a lot.
Yesterday, it all caved in... I had a Crohn's attack and got very sick. I cut back on the exercise and fell back into eating more comfortable foods that helped to stabilize things some. But the guilt I feel is huge. Today, I was disappointed to "only" get in four miles of walking, in spite of the extreme heat outside (which of course helped bring on the attack). I feel bloated and fat again. I went out sightseeing this morning in the heat and had to go into a cool building because I felt sick on my walking tour. I have a scheduled colonoscopy in two weeks, just had surgery two months ago, and I am really starting to feel at war with myself. I hate my body. I worry about my weight making my health worse. It has become a constant fear.
Perimenopause feels like like another disease to me. I can't seem to find a middle ground with this, accept that I don't have to be perfect. But I look and feel terrible about myself all the time now.
I don't know what to do.
1 like, 8 replies