Is this depression? Or...?
Posted , 4 users are following.
My depressive episodes are really weird. They sometimes last around 2 weeks (my best guess is around 13-18 days but my most recent episode lasted a month and a half) and during this time it's absolutely horrible. I'm super suicidal during those weeks and I won't be able to stop crying (I would cry anywhere and everywhere). I also won't be able to stop SI'ing and I get super scared of myself because I think that I might actually take my life. It got super bad at one point where I started hearing and seeing things (happened to me last year; not that recent though) and it was almost like another part of me was haunting me and telling me to kiill myself.
While I'm not depressed I feel ok-ish sad but I'm no longer crying and it's not interfering with my daily life anymore. But with this 'sadness' I get a lot of anxiety. But then sometimes at moments my mood randomly drops to depression and that lasts about maybe 2-3 days or so (maybe a bit more). Then after all this I'm finally in a more stable mood.
also another thing I should mention is that at the times I am happy I know I'm going to crash (relapse) big time. (this happiness is not mania though; more so like a normal happy).
I think I should also state that sometimes my depression is triggered by something but sometimes not. Also sometimes my depression doesn't happen every month. My 3 depressive episodes I had were quite close together (maybe a month gap inbetween where I felt stable). Right now it's been 2 months since I felt stable so I know I'm going to relapse soon; I just don't know when. I'm trying to find a pattern but so far I havent really noticed anything other than the fact that it happens every few months.
So is this something i should be concerned about? or is this normal? Should i go and seek help? Thank you
0 likes, 4 replies
katz31 Sakura00
Posted
Episodes your scared you might harm your
Self I personally think that you should tell
Your GP, if your scared to say this to him/
Her you could show what you have written
Here.
You need to tell them everything.
Please take care, I will be thinking of you
Kate.
claudia90123 Sakura00
Posted
As for the anxiety, it builds on anxiety which makes the SI worse. When you get that feeling of being out of control you can ride it til it passes. Hard to explain, but you know it will pass, so instead of fighting it, which builds up the fear, you can become an onlooker, and let it flow through you without touching you like watching a film. It helps loads.
chris14174 Sakura00
Posted
Sakura00 chris14174
Posted