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I dot really know where to start as I find it very hard to explain because everytime I do I fear I've not explained it correctly (beacuse it never sounds as terrible as it really feels) and I get worried somethings really being missed. I've been suffering for quite some time now (nearly 2 years but have had episodes in the past) but the last few months have been utter hell and I'm constanly petrifed that something is being missed and its something really serious.
From the moment I wake in the morning I feel like I dont know who I am. I feel so strange in my own body like I've just been placed here 5 minutes ago and I dont know who, What or where I am. It's like im experiencing life/being a person for the first time and nothing feels right or 'normal'. I feel like ive gotten so deep into it and struggling to find a way out or accept that anxiety/depression can cause this feeling to be so bad 24/7. I wonder if I'm even real/here or if ive been here before (deep down I knoe i have but it jsut doesnt feel right). Ive gone from driving everywhere, working full time and university to being practically house bound and constantly scared. I keep panicking that I have a brain tumour, in a coma somewhere or have gone completly crazy. I feel like I cant remember what 'normal' feels like so Im scared that I cant tell the diffrence between whether i'm really ill or if its still just dp/dr feelings. I'm not getting any let up from it and just wondered if anyone can relate.
Many Thanks xx
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