Is this the worst time in your life ?

Posted , 10 users are following.

interested in hearing your stories .... I went through this 10 years ago during Peri whereby I went cuckoo but I was married then. Going through this completely alone now ... wow it’s tough . 

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi lori,

    This definitely the worse time of my life and am going through it all alone. U are not alone hun am sure there is other women like us. Hugs

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    • Posted

      Khadija sending you strength and support if we can get through this ALONE it’s a testament to how strong we really are .i don’t even work so I can go days without talking or seeing anybody ... I just take a deep breath and try to remain level headed but boy it’s really tough . I’m still ok looking and should be dating but don’t have the energy and feel lije I look a mess most days ., Remember nothing stays the same and things will turnaround for us. 
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    • Posted

      Thx for your sweet reply. It is weird but I don't even look at men right now, have no desire whatsoever,hope am not gonna feel like this for the rest of my life, feel dating is something of the past, would like to meet someone and share things with unfortunately I only met douch bags that treated me poorly in the past so I stop dating, now I don't think I have the physical or the mental energy for a guy plus am on bunch of meds that put me to sleep so I don't think I will be a lot of fun for a guy

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    • Posted

      Me neither ! To sit there seeming interested and looking happy and making conversation ... can’t be bothered .

      I had for a year when I was 49 a 24 year old boyfriend I know I know 🙄 24 but it just happened only had 2 men in 18 years ... it was so much work and I wasn’t even going through Meno then ! But now at 52 the thought of starting a new relationship and all the energy it involves 🙄 now I see why women are overlooked after 50 . 

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    • Posted

      I’m on mylan estrogen only patch 5 mg . I have Xanax and Valium for anxiety but try to take those only when I really need them . I also have an over the counter progesterone cream that actually helps me sleep .... my dr said don’t add progesterone for 3 months but it’s not strong as may be sensitive to it but this one is a very low dose .
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  • Posted

    YES it is SO tough! Is it anxiety that keeps you from going back to where you were before? With family/friends?I was raising my son alone for 2 years. Was peri and didn't know it until I found this forum. It has helped SO much! Back then, I worked and supported us. Sat here after work, so lonely and depressed. Went through a divorce and had to put down my dog. Life was horrible! I slept on a pull out couch in my living room, for 2 years until I found my hubby. Had known him for 20 some years. We reconnected and my life was SO GREAT. Peri set in shortly there after, and NEVER been the same since. Today is our anniversary. We don't have the energy to go out. God I miss my old self! The one who wouldn't leave the house without make up and looking my best! Depressing!!😕

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    • Posted

      Im so sorry Nancy ... that’s too much all at once . My cat is my life ... but she’s getting on so... agh!! Yes my husband brought me to this little nothing town then left me! During his midlife crisis . My family is in UK and my brother is a 7 hour drive away. I just don’t have the mental stability to move right now . And doing it all alone I just cannot do it. How I’ve got through this completely alone in this boring unfriendly town I don’t know ...

      I know something will turn up as I’ve been pretty lucky in life . Yes I’ve got 4 closets all designer clothes... I was in the fashion industry but now I just don’t care I wear the same sweatshirt and jeans everyday . 

      My Peri at 41 was insanity I literally lost my mind ! Could not leave the house ! I had no clue what was going on .... I leveled out but never got over the panic attacks and agoraphobia . Get your hormones checked now ! If I knew then what I know now 🙄 I would have started hormone replacement many years ago! 

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  • Posted

    Hang in there praying for you
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  • Posted

    Hi Lori, I’ve been reading ur posts over the past few weeks, and really feeling for you. Im actually interested to hear you say you went through this with peri, as being 41 I’m currently going through that and it would like to hear how you coped and  how long it lasts for, seems never ending for me atm - trying hrt patches but don’t think they work for peri as seem to be worse on them ! I’ve got 2 little kids and it’s hard, having a partner isn’t too helpful but it is reassuring, but this forum really helps so many of us just carry on riding this out, big hug to you x
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    • Posted

      Well the Peri hit me like a freight train . I had no clue what was going on and thought it was PTSD due to a bad accident .

      I completely lost my mind it was the scariest time . I could not drive leave the house and could not be left alone . I literally lost my mind . It went on for quite a while many months maybe even a year . I ‘slowly’ got back to a manageable life but never got over the panic attacks and agoraphobia . If it’s that bad for you get yourself sorted now! Don’t waste 10 years like I did ... spent money on countless therapists and treatments but it was a waste as all hormones . I should have just gone to a hormone dr but I just wasn’t educated on Peri . 

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  • Posted

    Good morning ladies I would just like to share what I have been through since age 47 I am now 53 I started with the hot flashes the mood swings the sleepless nights as time went on I developed bursitis tendonitis the ringing in the ears aching joints my shoulders was the worst crawly skin and what I would call how many flops was muscle twitching in my stomach dry eyes burning tongue my allergies went through the roof at times I felt Doom didn't want to do anything lost interest for a long time went into like depression I lost my sister July 9th 2017 two months later I lost my brother September 26th it really threw me for a loop on top of raising children again my sister left behind two beautiful little girls which I love dearly health anxiety panic attacks I had started losing weight which was a good thing but in a bad way it was due to my anxiety I always had a fear something was wrong with me and that made the anxiety go through the roof I have the ringing in the ears I develop carpal tunnel I've been doing my best to hang in here over the years it's been a rough road my intimate life has went away but I'm not sure if it's because I'm just not into my husband because the way he treats me so I think it's both things the menopause and him I work 7 days a week two jobs take care of home children I keep myself busy now so I don't have time to stop and think about all the symptoms some have subsided or either I just don't have time to sit and think about them I think the more I stay busy the better I am the Doctor never put me on anything because he said taking things will just prolong the menopause and once you come off the medicine it will come back with Revenge so far so good I have not been on any medicine except my blood pressure medicine so that's some of my story ladies I hope and pray we all get through this sometimes when we think everything is calm down poww here it comes again sometimes I find myself just going to sleep just so I don't have to worry about the symptoms God bless you all praying for all you ladies

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  • Posted

    Hi Lori,

    I've had some really dark periods in my life but this peri is definitely up there as I can't see an end to it and it's affecting my whole life!! ?? This may be quite long so bare with me.

    My mother suffered badly through the menopause but had a stroke then schizophrenia on top of it, I was aged between 10 and 16 when she went through it all and ended up with a social worker and in a flat at 16 as she ended up in a psychiatric hospital and died there when I was 23. My father was battling cancer at the same time and died when I was 17. I miss them both and wish they were here to help me through this awful time which hit me like a ton of bricks 10 months ago with anxiety which lasted for 3 months, I was taking activan every 2 days and I think I was getting rebound anxiety to as I stopped taking them suddenly not realising your supposed to cut down gradually, I now use them for emergency's only. I have one or 2 weeks where I feel normal then it's back, atm I feel 80 as my tendonitis in my heels are really bad and have finger pain. My anxiety crept back in this morning so hardly slept last night so shattered atm and can't wait to goto bed😦 I have a partner and a dog called kizzy, I lost my 1st dog 3 years ago to complications due to breast cancer she was 10 and I miss her. Ive been taking hrt for a month but don't feel any benefits yet. Ive cut loads out as I don't want to bore everyone lol Here's to us ladies finding light at the end of a very long, dark, peri tunnel. Hugs to you all 🤗

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  • Posted

    Hi Lori. Allow me to share a little story with you to provide encouragement that if women are being "overlooked after 50" as you state; it is because they choose to be. 

    I was married to my first husband for 31 years. He died due to Leukemia. I was devastated and alone. We had no children. I moved from one State to another to be closer to a very loving and supportive sister. I threw myself into my work that served others. I was not interested in dating, but was always appreciative when a gentleman complimented me for whatever reason. After four years, my heart was open to love again; but I did not go looking. One day, my brother called to say, Sis, I found you a man. I responded by saying, "What! I didn't know that I was looking". We shared a wonderful laugh about it and he told me how they met. After speaking with this man via telephone for about 2 weeks, we finally met. My brother was with me on the date because they had already established rapport and liked each other. I was 59 years of age at that time. When we met in person,we both knew that this was it. After dating for one year..we married the next year and w are blissfully happy.

    The point I want to share is if you are not ready to meet anyone; you don't have to say a word because men are getting the message that you really aren't ready. When your heart is "open to get to know someone.....or maybe even love again; that will shine through as well.

    I feel so different in this relationship and shared that concern with a co-worker who happened to be a psychiatric nurse. She provided understanding that I loved my first husband.......but, I am IN LOVE with this one. There is a difference.

    I hope my words encourage you and others, especially at our age to never give up believing that there is someone special looking for us. (Personally, I don't believe a woman needs to look for a man). When it is right, He will find you because you deserve happiness with a companion in this life.

    Be Blessed

     

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    • Posted

      That’s a lovely story and gives us all hope . My ex husband moved me to this little town and it’s been tough ... it’s not the friendliest place its very ‘old’ and with no family around... plus I don’t work so going through all this awful meno stuff alone ... trying to stay positive and yes would love to meet a fabulous man someday . No way I could date now however I’m too unstable ... hopefully better soon ! 
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