its a long n bumpy road - 15wks run-down..... but it CAN lead to a brighter place!!!

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Hi all

Update at wk 15ish. If you've not read my posts before I started getting ill august last yr with dark mood n constant nausea for months and rapid weight loss. Dr said down to anxiety as had happened briefly yr before when I was going through very stressful time. That time I took citalopram for about five months with no side effects felt back to normal after 3-4wks when nausea stopped. Stopped meds around 5 months feeling 100%.

This time went on cit, 8 wks did not improve nausea and still low mood plus was sleeping 3-4 days a week all day as well as night, wiped me out totally. Dr changed me to flu and instantly got more energy but lots of side effects (insomnia, nights sweats, jaw clenching, shakes, etc). The nausea didnt ease til around 6wks after anti sickness pills, propanalol and acupuncture.

Meantime dr started ball rolling on numerous tests to see if underlying cause for nausea. Things continued to improve physically but wk 9-10 slipped back to feeling very low being very tearful. May have been stress of xmas or ongoing medical tests weighing me down (had every scan, camera and physical exam going I think within 6 wks!).

Dr agreed 2-3wks ago my mood should be better (blubbing in her surgery for no real reason). Decided to try upping dose rather than weaning off n changing again. Started 30mg just over 2wks ago (alternate 20/40).

So how's it going? Quite often now I forget the illness, wake up thinking about normal things - thats the best way to describe it. Ive found myself singing along with the radio and teasing the kids plus ive been so much more chatty with friends and at work. Energy is great despite waking just after 5am and ive even been out with a friend for my first two short runs!(well run stagger walk - ive always despised running!).in essence Ive felt like myself despite insomnia occasional night sweats n jaw clenching!

Cant say for def if just timing, upping the dose, relief of medical results being not bad news or what but for now im enjoying being in that sunny place :-)

You need the patience of a saint to get through this which is not easy when you feel crap but there can be light at the end of the tunnel. The meds help though tyou have to make the effort too BUT the way I feel now it was all worth it- long may it last!

Im not daft enough to think thats it, im expecting bad days to throw me at times but will remain grateful for all the good days til then.

Hope this helps people who are just starting or part way through the fluox journey. I dint think id have persevered with the information and advice from this forum, thank you to all the lovely people who have given words if sympathy and support throughout. :-)

Here's hoping you all reach that brighter place soon.

Best wishes

Vix x

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  • Posted

    Just a quick one vix!

    Chin up! It will get better! Also keep on at MH to give you some help as I now get phone counselling.

    Sorry it's quick as iv gotta pack I'm off to centr parcs today which mentioned.

    Big hugs and kisses. Hope u have a fab weekend!

    And stay strong. Xx

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    • Posted

      Thnx michelle

      Hope youre doing well? Jealous of centre parcs feeding ducks n squirrels at your patio door n chilling in spa. Enjoy!

      Vix xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Vix,

    It is a long dark journey and after a while of feelin good am now not so great on 40 mg

    For three months after three on 20. I wondered if 40 was to much and could try 30. I'm glad you are in a good place

    Linda xx

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    • Posted

      Hi linda

      Sorry to hear that youre feeling bad again, its almost harder when youve felt good for a while :-( its difficult to know what to do, change dose, change meds whatever.

      Have you tried any other ssri's? And have you had counselling or cbt too?

      I could be where you are in a few months, such a cruel illness who knows. Im trying to make the most of this good feeling in case it doesn't last.

      Hope things brighten for you.

      Vix x

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  • Posted

    Thanx for that post Vix!! I have given some thought to coming off the flu for the last few weeks, as I felt I was not really getting any benefit From it. By golly gosh, it,s been a rough ride, but hopefully I am FINALLY starting to get out of the tunnel and into the light! Good luck with everything!!
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  • Posted

    Well, it is so fantastic to listen to all the honesty on this forum. 

    I have contributed just a little of my experience of the effect of flu, but I have read with great interested & much gratitude of everyone else's.

    I have been on a daily 20mg flu since 25th Oct 2014 mainly to balance my mood due to anxiety caused by falling for a man who tried to control me & isolate me from friends & family for almost 6yrs gradually making me & my prefious life feel worthless.

    Having being widowed 8yrs ago after 27yrs of marriage, with two 20+yr old daughters, my relationship with my girls suffered through this 6yrs of torment with this man. The little voice in my head telling me from almost day one, this relationship wasn't right, friends & family telling me the same, but I allowed it to continue.

    Being prescribed 20mg of flu put me on the road to accept responsibility for the damaged relationship with my daughters which was hurting much more than saying goodbye to someone that brought nothing to my life other than negativity.

    I have been kind to myself since Oct 25th, sleeping when I needed to (which has been a lot) doing very little around the house, but on the plus side, enjoying my daughters once more & surrounding myself with fabulous like minded friends, which has made me feel good about myself again.

    As it is only the endless need of sleep I seem to require since being on flu, I decided it was time to wean myself off the 20mg, so since Thursday 5th Feb I decided to take one every other day for a week, then every two days for a week & so on.

    I guess I should have spoken to my doctor first,  but reading this forum my problem, seems more a temporary emotional state of mind, rather than an ongoing torment of some kind & I do not want to continue feeling so very tired & lazy from the effects of the flu.

    Hopefully weaning myself off them won't cause me any setbacks, but I'm taking the gamble as my life is happy apart from the tiredness, which I believe is down to the flu.

    I will come back & let you all know how I go on, if you are interested, but in the meantime, thank you to everyone on this forum for taking the time to share your thoughts & feelings. I wish you all a speedy recovery. X

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    • Posted

      You have been through the mill haven't you :-( glad that things are getting sorted with your daughters. Citalopram made me feel totally wiped out so maybe a change rather than stopping would help?

      Please do let us know how it goes, and thank you for posting

      Good luck

      Vix

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    • Posted

      Hi,

      I feel exactly as you do calm but tired beyond belief and lack of motivation

      Is also a problem. I am back at work which is good but at night I have no energy to do anything. I am going to talk to go about reducing from 40 to 30.

      Good luck and take care

      Linda xx

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    • Posted

      I was reading on here that someone has suffered from fibromyalgia as a possible side effect from another drug, so now put on flux.

      i had never heard of it, so looked it up & my goodness, it is exactly what affect the flux seem to be having on me. Briefly, severe fatigue, head aches, jaw ache, poor sleep patterns, muscle pain due to possible chemical change in the brain sending messages to the nerve ends, blued eye sight.

      I have suffered all of these on & off during my time on flux, but it was the swelling & throbbing pain from my thumb moving to my fingers then up my arm to my shoulder that really concerned me, I was wondering if it was a DVT, the blood not pumping through my vains which could in turn cause such tiredness? I then recalled my left calve muscle (was my left hand & arm too) stiffening, thinking it was cramp, I ignored it even though it was very painful, but after experience the hand/arm thing twic in one week, I realised I had several raised vains at the point of the pain in my calve muscle so connected the two?

      I have made an appointment at the doctors for a weeks time so I can monitor how I'm feeling as I decrease the flux so that my doctor has some information to work on.

      Vix has suggested another tablet, but I don't like taking tablets & to be honest I have sorted the cause of my problem, the flux aided me to do that, so to carry on with medication makes no sense to me. Summing it up I am happy now apart from having no energy at all, which I believe is caused by the flux (in my case) so I would like to see if it improves once I'm off them.

      thank you Linda & Vix for your input, I will keep you up to speed with how I go on. Xx

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  • Posted

    oh vix, what an inspiring post! it sounds like you have finally got some peace whilst on this emotional journey, well done for sticking with it, and feel proud of yourself that you alone achieved it, i know from watching daughter its like having  a constant battle with yourself,  hopefully the dark days are now on there way out, and i hope you are smiling most days. big hugs, and once again, well done. xx
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  • Posted

    Just a quick update, three weeks further on and im feeling great. Im me again! :-) making plans for future and getting excited about them.

    For anyone whos just starting or whos struggling through all the symptoms and side effects be patient and it will all be worth it!

    Thanks again to all the lovely people on here who have read and commented on my posts, its really helped me through this :-)

    Wishing everyone a bright sunny day whatever the weather! Big happy hugs to all.

    Vix

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    • Posted

      Hi Vix

      Thank you for sharing your experience its been such a positive read for me. Iv been on flu 10 weeks now (4 weeks on 20 6 weeks on 40) and like you i am starting to feel more like my old self. Not every day is great but im getting there & have more good days than bad. Its reassuring for me to read your comments & hope that things can get better still.

      I have found this site so helpful, reading that people are experiencing similar symptoms to me & getting better as there were times I was convinced I would never be well again!

      I wish you every happiness for the future.

      Take care

      Katie x

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    • Posted

      Hi Rachel, I felt really anxious for the first week following the increase then things slowly started to get better. It didn't take me as long to adjust as when I first started fluoxetine. I went through a month of hell in the beginning. After about 2 weeks following the increase I started to get some energy back, things are getting better every day now Im almost 'normal'.

      Try & stick with the increase I know it is really difficult but in the end it's worth it!

      Hope things get better for you soon

      Take care

      Katie x

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    • Posted

      Thank you Katie for ur experience. I'm on day 5 of 40mg and I'm a wreck crying all the time really on edge (scared) and a awful dizzy confused feeling. I'm worried I won't get better. I was on 20 for 15weeks 7 normal weeks but then I got badly again but feel worse from the 40mg its hell
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    • Posted

      Rachel? How was your anxiety when you first started flu? I'm on paxil now 8 weeks and now feel awful like I'm starting over. I just started on birth control and stopped it after four days I felt like I was going crazy and this is my result after.
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    • Posted

      Have u felt bad for 8 whole weeks ? This is too long. It took me 8 weeks but I had improvements soon like 3 weeks xx
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    • Posted

      Thanks katie. Hope the good days are getting more and more. I feel so full of life its fantastic! I wake up every day feeling excited that I dont feel ill and just wanna get on with life!

      Hope youre there soon if not already :-)

      Vix

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