its been a long haul

Posted , 13 users are following.

I came on the forum over a year ago a few days out from my right TKR. I was hurting and scared.

My story is, I work as an underground miner. Crazy thing is i tripped over on the surface and not underground. Fell onto my right knee. Work flew me out too company doctor. MRI showed arthritis. So pre-existing. Over time I couldnt bare weight.

Long story short. I had a right TKR, 6 mnths later an MUA. Doing great at first then pain started, back to surgeon I hobble. Bone scan show knee cap infected. So I have that removed. Mean while knowing all along this would affect my job.

After a year and abit I am finally getting medically stood down from ever stepping on a mine site. I have shed a many of tear as I love my job. It pays well and allowed me to look after my family.

I have suffered depression. In Feb this year I tried to take my own life. I just couldnt cope anymore. Woke up in a hospital tubes everywhere. I was no longer the strong person I once was.

I dont want sympathy but I want too let people know dont ever give up. After getting a lot of help I am fighting my way back. Finding where I fit in this world again. Only 44 years I still have a lot of living too do. So I hope my story has touched someone that is suffering depression. Dont EVER give up. Fight your worth it 💜💚

Love always Jod

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  • Posted

    Oh Jodie, my heart goes out to you. You have gone through too much. Your positive attitude is a gift all of us here appreciate. Stay strong. We are always here to listen and care about you. This forum got me through some of my worst days. Chico Marx always gives advice with a side of humor.

    Ellie

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    • Posted

      Thanks Ellie

      Such sweet words. I read about so much depression on here. I feel every word I read, as I have felt it too.

      Just dont want people to think they are alone and they are so worth the fight they are going through.

      Some people struggle with a TKR and some dont. At the end of the day there is always tomorrow.

      Xxx

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  • Posted

    You are an inspiration! I am so sorry you have had struggles. I will pray for you and your family. I survived cancer 28 yrs ago bit this had been worse. I am 16 weeks post TKR, had MUS a month ago and was just released from Physical Therapy last week with bend at 122+. I admire your drive to work. I am 67 and retired. Thank God my husband has helped me. I just want my life back. Look into jobs that interest you. It's never too late to learn something new. Hang in there. You'll find your purpose. Life is good on the whole. You are much better now than many. Peace & prayers!

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    • Posted

      Thank you Karen

      We are all worth fighting for. The crazy thing is I know what deprssion and taking your own life does.

      4 years ago we lost my beautiful, funny caring 21 yr old niece. She walked out her front door and never came home. I will never forget the pain and agony on my sisters face and I still see it today.

      Then 6mnths to the day I will never forget seeing my middle sister laying in a hospital bed, lifeless. We are a very close family. For 3 days no one left her and just held her hand. I will never get out of my mind the damage she had done to herself. I will forget her childrens faces and the pain as they wheeled her out to take her organs to save other peoples lives. I remember the coversation I had with her the night before.

      People look at me and think " how could you do that to your family after what they have been through and knowing the pain caused". Thats it when you get that depressed it all goes out the window. It did for me. I felt I let them down. The fact is I didnt. I stopped seeing the love and support that was right infront of me.

      I wish I could have our two back. We miss them every day. So more of my story. Just dont give up.

      Xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Jod. Yes, never give up is a motto and for many of us, our credo here. I feel empathy for you. But change is a given in human existence so embrace it and know that with hope and a positive attitude much can be achieved. I am grateful to be here, grateful to be in only a little pain, even grateful to be supportive to my dearest friend recently diagnosed with life threatening illness. Life is precious and yes, painful but we need to choose what kind of life we want and do what is necessary to achieve it. Good fortune to you. x
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    • Posted

      So true Lyn

      So sorry to hear about your friend. Sending a prayer. 💜💚

      Life doesnt go the way we think it should. After my exprience I had to make a choice. I choose too fight. I will forever in the memory of my sister and niece. I will fight the battle of life.

      I only hope this makes me stronger and maybe give someone else hope and faith when feeling the darkness

      Jod xx

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  • Posted

    Never give up!!

    You are young and will find something else that you are good at!

    I too suffered depression, but I'm a tough old bird(63)

    With the help of my doc and husband got thru it!!

    Prayers to you and your family!!

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  • Posted

    Thabk you for sharing your experiences. You are an inspiration.
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    • Posted

      Thanks Jen

      Sometimes we forget our achievements in life and only remember the what we think is failure.

      I have achieved great things. I have a beautiful daughter and a loving hubby. One day I will have another job I love.

      Xxx jod

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  • Posted

    Don't ever consider the thought that you aren't a strong person. Even a Lamborghini has to be looked at by a mechanic once in awhile. Any who can come on this forum and talk about one of life's glithes is a solid individual. Life has so many quick turns its hard to keep both hand as on the wheel all the time. I have mentioned my wife's condition ad nasuem. Parkinson's Disease 8 years ago and we never dreamed what it would do and is doing to our lives. Her physical condition deteriorated slowly at 1st then the descent gained momentum....then the big blow, dementia. It is now taking over at a frightening pace. I knew being a caregiver was going to be tough but had no idea and then added to it the recovery from my various knee surgeries. Everyone says its a day at a time life but you really 1st that message when you are living I t. I've always said that things will get back to normal and it does...its just a new normal. Hang in there and have patience. Its just an old adage but so true, when one door slams shut another will open. No one wants adversity but eventually it will be the fire that tempers the steel.

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    • Posted

      I adore you. I msged you when I first had my TKR, asking help. You did rely and helped me 😀

      You are full of wisdom and I know you have been through so much. Its not easy, life can be the raw end of the stick sometimes. I would even go as far as say a total bitch.

      I will admit I went over the edge. Some days are worse than others. Depression can sit in the corner and wait. I have learnt to pick up the phone when not coping. I have learnt its ok to reach out. I just want everyone to know this.

      Love you fatoldguy 💜💚

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    • Posted

      So sorry to hear that your wife's health has deteriorated so much.  It is certainly not easy.  I am finding it quite hard physically, as my husband now needs quite a lot of help to get in and out of bed, or up from a chair. . .It worries me that as things progress I shall not be able to cope as his needs get bigger,  but so far so good!  There are also the first signs of loss of cognitive ability as well . . . Another 20 years and I'm sure they will found the way to halt the progress of this disease, but unfortuantely, too late for us!  That you continue to cope even with all your operations and problems is so incredible! . . 

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    • Posted

      I think that humans often times underestimate how strong they are under pressure. I haven't been away more than 4 hours at any given time in over a year and I'm lucky to get to sit more than 10 to 15 mind at a time. She has to take meds 5 times a day and can't be trusted with them as she gets b wry confused. I have to write each med on a list so she can write the time. ( she hates meds and wants to visually observe them). Of course she can't cook as she needs to hang on the walker. Even with that the thing that wears me out the most is the dementia. She can't stay on track with the simplest conversation and as is the case with many Parkinson's patients, the voice becomes so soft that I can't hear her unless I'm face to face. The combination of those things is extremely frustrating. She will start with one topic and abruptly be on another one. She can't grasp newspaper or tv stories and will mix 2 or three into the same recap. My hope is that I can keep her at home through the end of the year and then evaluate. We have long term care insurance so financially Its not quite as devastating as it might otherwise be but I want her home as long as possible.

      One of the real hurts is tonight. I have an 11 year old grandson who is turning into an excellent baseball player (pitcher). He has a game tonight and I haven't been able to see him play all year. Baseball was my sport and it breaks my heart I can't go to his games...those are the little things that build up.

      Oh well...you do what you have to do.

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    • Posted

      Please look into Hospice/Respite care. There are volunteers that could come in and stay with your wife, while you get to have a few hours of your life back. I'll pray for you both. Such a hardship. Please seek help. Your local church

      Might have done Volunteer Org that could help you. Please look into that.

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    • Posted

      Thank you...I looked into some things a few months ago but couldn't find the right fit then she broke her hip and that brought on more confusion but, you're right, I need to try again.

      If it wasn't for our faith I have no idea how we would have gotten this far.

      Appreciate your concern

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