ive been depressed for nearly 3 month and im no closer

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Im a single parent have been for 7 years now i got custody of my son when he was 2 ive been sing for nearly all of that time just bringing him up doing the best i can not realy worrying about any relationships i thought if one might happen then it has to feel right for me and my son so diddnt realy look untill jasnuary this year when were i worked a new woman started we got chatting one night and she opened up to me about her last relationship which is fine other colleagues have done that in the past opened up to me for advice and ive always gave the best advice i could but this time was different after about a month we was talking more and more and i felt atraccted to her now nothing in being attreacted to someone but im not the type of person to confess my feelings about someone because i always think they will never be interested but she was different i felt i had to tell her how i felt and to my supprise she felt the same way we ended up having 3 month relationship which i fell for her so hard she was so careing generous kind incredible i couldnt help myself fall in love with her when i told her about it she said she loved me to and that she felt lucky to have me but she suffers from bipolar and she said she didnt deserve a guy like me but i just said she deserved to be happy with what she has been through in her life and thats all i ever wanted to make her she used to say she would hurt me but she also said she realy does love me ive never had a person express themselves like that to me before we spent so much time together it was incredible she didnt want to be away from me we text nearly 50 times a day when one of us was at work even sometimes just to say i love you it felt so right then at the end of april she just said it was over the only reason i got was it didnt work but she insisted that she meant every word she ever said to me she said her bipolar changed her and ive been crushed and depressed ever since it was so real for me then to suddenly have my heart completley crushed ive never felt anything quite like it i cry myself to sleep ive become distant even from my son i just dont know a way forward anymore i feel hurt every day since it even brought up som repressed emotions i hadnt dealt with because i was strong for others and never dealt with them myself ive felt like ive been through hell and i cant get out we still work together which has made it harder to get through this i need help i just dont know where to start i know people have been through much worse but everyones pain hurt and depresion is unique to the person going through it i feel myself breaking down writing this i just want to be me again

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  • Posted

    Jason, 

    I truly feel for you as I have had my heart broken also. The first thing you have to do is get some help. For your sons sake at least. He will be very confused about what is wrong with his daddy and will want his old daddy back asap! 

    Go and see your GP tomorrow and tell him/her what going on. They will be able to point you in the right direction. 

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    • Posted

      I plan to next week when he is back at school hopefully I can get the help I need I thought i could deal with it because of what ive been through in my life I thought I was a strong person but this has brought me to my knees it has completely ruind me I have to get back to being me I hate feeling like this 
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    • Posted

      Don't wait until next week. Go now! If he is still rather young he won't really know whats going in the GP's office. I have only recently started suffering anxiety and I was upset that I had to wait until this saturday to see the psychologist. 
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    • Posted

      Not much choice ive got work and other commitments I cant push back so it has to be next week plus I have to phone first thing and then not guaranteed to get in to see my doctor and id rather not take my son I want him back to his school routine he was diagnosed with autism shortly before we broke up an I haven't been able to do anything ive been so lost so get him back into his routine then get me started on whatever the doctor recomends because I cant seem to function normal anymore and I know I have to its why im asking for help never had to before even before I met her ive even been through other tough times but I managed to get through them but I guess suppressing things isnt dealing with them and its all just crashed around me 
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  • Posted

    Hi Jason, I am sorry to hear of your difficulties. You are doing a wonderful job with your son. Have you thought about Counselling as you would be able to talk to someone and get your feelings and emotions out. Go to your GP when you can and explain how you are feeling. 
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  • Posted

    I am on such a down day today and the  day hasnt even started yet I found a litte note ibhad left in ine of my coat pocket that says she loved me more than I loved her and it has brought me so down today is gonna be a long day
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  • Posted

    I think sometimes we meet people fall madly in love then before we no it its over, and its the worst ,pain feeling in the world , but maybe it just wasn't meant to be maybe the girl/women of your dreams is round the corner and maybe which may seem difficult to believe she will love you more than the last one . I no how your feeling I once fell in love and he left me I was devastated I lost my job every think just when I thought it couldn't get any worse I met my hubby who swept me completely off my feet and I fell more in love with him than the first one . I do hope you feel better soon cos you seem like a really nice guy . Take care Michelle
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  • Posted

    You definitely need some support, but I don't think you should give yourself a hard time, you've been strong so far and you will be strong again. You owe it to yourself and to your son. I agree with going to see your GP and talking about your situation and low mood. It really will help, if you can confide in trusted close family members and friends. Sharing a problem makes it easier. You will love again there's plenty of decent people out there you just need to stop looking. Focus on improving your life in other ways because you are no 1, you are the most important. My auntie is a single parent and one of the toughest ladies I've ever seen. She fought a depression brought on by her cheating exhusbund and overcame postnatal depression after that.
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