ive been depressed for such a long time now,

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ive been depressed for such a long time now, taking fluoxetine, sleeping tablets, oxazepam tablets, im taking more and more of these last tablets, just to give me the feeling im not here any more, ive seen someone talked but have to wait 28 days for more prof. help.   Im 60 years, married, im just so tired of everything, i dont know what to do anymore

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  • Posted

    Hi Astrid, Hang on in there and keep with us.  So many of us on here will understand how you are feeling, as we either feel like you or have done at some point.

    I know it’s a pain having to wait to see someone, who may be able to help you, but surely it’s worth holding on if it will make you feel better.

    Is your husband helpful and supportive or part of the problem?  Sometimes partners can seem uncaring because they haven’t a clue what to do to make us feel better, so they pretend there isn’t a problem and ignore it, which is not that they don’t care, even if it seems like it.  I’ve been widowed for 12 years and the only thing I can think of as being worse than being on my own is being tied to someone who doesn’t care or love me.

    Is there anything that you do like, however small, like a sunny day, flowers, anything that you can focus on that makes you feel good, while you are waiting?  If you have any real friends, talk to them, go visit, do something that you enjoy doing.

    I always think of people like Tony Hancock, who gave up, just before a break would have helped him.  The saying “It’s often darker before the dawn” is so true, so don’t give up, just because it’s hard, it is hard, but you could be denying yourself some happiness, which it really sounds like you need and deserve.

    I’m 65, and still here, sometimes it’s a big struggle when I feel so alone and unloved, but I’m a fighter, guess you are too, as you say you’ve felt depressed for so long.  Be a Warrior Queen and don’t let them grind you down.

    Marie xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Marie,  thanks for your reply.  My husband is a sort of miserable person,he s 13 years older then I am, he s a JW and he works as a volunteer at a mill closeby. So he is always busy.I have 2 doggies, but lately im just lying on the couch, dont bother to get dressed,  hardly take the dogs for a walk anymore. and I am so tired I just dont care about anything anymore,  i hate it being 60 also,  to see. that your body is ageing, and im eating loads of chocolate, while i hate getting fatter. its all so complicated.....
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  • Posted


    Ive been suffering with depression on and of for about 10yrs or so, and I've always carried on going to work but this time I've been of work for some 6 months now as it's the worst bout I've ever suffered. I've been taking Fluoxetine but have recently had these changed and I'm hoping that they will help me with my sadness and general feeling of no motivation. I'm sure that by trying to stay positive helps and hope that you to can carry on and like a lot of us fight this horrible illness to be back as happy as we were before.

    Sorry if I've rambled on and not made much sense but I'm not a great writer, take care . Xx

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  • Posted

    Hi again Astrid

    This is 2nd attempt at reply, pressed wrong button and it disappeared.


    I know what you mean about being upset about your body, I’m probably at least 4 stone overweight and even if I lost the weight,  I’d end up with loose saggy skin, I don’t know which is worse, none of it’s pretty.


    Currently, my love handles have love handles, I find it difficult to put my shoes on, let alone do them up.  Bear in mind that most men of our age (and sometimes younger) are nothing to write home about either.  OK, there are exceptions both with men and women and they make some of us (me anyway) feel inadequate.  Someone I used to work with said about someone gorgeous “No-one normal looks that good, they must be deformed”.  I liked that.  Unfortunately, time catches up with most of us and our glory days are past, good looks and figures disappear, but, unless you can afford cosmetic surgery, it catches us all up eventually.


    Have you seen your doctor and been diagnosed as depressed?  Whether you have or not, you should go back and speak to your GP, you could have some undiagnosed illness such as a low thyroid condition or another illness, and they make be able to provide treatment to help, either with some form of counselling or medication.


    I don’t know what to suggest re: hubby, if he wasn’t so miserable, perhaps you would feel better too, but is it just with you being depressed that he is miserable or has he always been like that?


    Would volunteering or working give you something to focus on and give you a life outside the house?  I know myself, if I do nothing, I feel more tired than I do if I actually do something, so maybe if you took the dogs out more or for longer walks,  it might help.  Just getting dressed may help and if you gradually work up to doing more you may find that you have more energy.  Exercise, in moderation to start with, especially walking in the fresh air can be very beneficial.  If you give it a try and it doesn’t work, you can always go back to the couch.  I’d definitely try the GP though, nothing ventured, nothing gained.


    Warrior Queen Astrid does have a nice ring to it though, doesn’t it?



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  • Posted

    Hi Atrid, me again, I've just read another post on here, and it reminded me of something, There is a belief that depression may be caused by anger being turned in on yourself, if that is the case, what or who have you been angry about especially recently?  Maybe, if it is a person, then perhaps an assertiveness course could help you to deal with the person who makes you angry without wading in and making everything so much worse.  If not and it is something else,
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    • Posted

      I didn't like to say, but I know if it were me, it would be him!  So, it's not you, it's him!  Don't wade in without knowing how to deal with him though.  Try not to put him on the defensive by openly blaming him, that's why you need to know how to handle this without it all coming back on you, as it will only make you feel worse.
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  • Posted

    CONTINUING as I must have pressed wrong button again, CBT may help change how you feel about things that make you angry, hope this may help in some way.
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    • Posted

      what do you mean by CBT,  dont think i mentioned this earlier, im living in holland but i was born in london and i so want to live in England again. but thats just not going to happen, so whats the good if it all....
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    • Posted

      You only have to blink on this forum and the message is gone.exclaim

      Hi Astrid,

      How long have you been living in Holland. I've been here a long time. I am older than you. I am also on ad's and take oxazepam. I have been on my own for years. I don't know whether I am Dutch or English. Apparently it is a problem with alot of ex.pats when they grow older.

      I have been very lucky with the mental health care I get here.

      I hope you are coping the cognitive therapy helped me alot but it is the oxazepam that keeps me going at the moment. You say you are taking more and more, how much do you take?

      take care


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