Just a thought I had about anxiety and how it makes no sense to me atleast. Would love input.

Yes, true. But anxiety has an "amazing" way to override logical thinking. It seems to work off fear. Fear which is probably the most powerful feeling of all. Fear which can make us humans to unimaginable things. Like lift a car to save someone's life, or kill to save your own, it is something that works against logic, if someone was completly logical they would simply look at the car and say I can't lift that but fear can push them to do it. So in order to truly stop or control anxiety we need to learn how to control fear. Which would be hard sense it is a hard wired feeling. Wait, wouldn't that mean that anxiety is a disorder that makes fear more powerful, it just makes us experience fear a bit more than the rest. Because I can't imagine that just everyone else doesn't feel these fears they probably do but not as intensly as us, they can just ignore it as background static when we for some reason out it at the forefront of thought. Just thinking.

Every time you have a thought and believe it you form a connection. A short cut. When this is done in survivor mode (fight or flight response) its a bad short cut. You make a lot of these when dealing woth anxiety. Then automatically you get anxious because your body rememebers what it felt last time. You constantly draw on past experiences in your reactions of your state of mind. Problem here is you get stuck. Stuck reliving  past experiences..or at least the body does. These are called habits. Habits take challenge and hard work to alter or break. You have to replace each and every connector consistently with positive and productive ways. fear is potent and needed to survive but not the way you use it. Learn mindful breathing so you can remove all your emotions from the fear. All your reactions are emotional with this disorder. Fear of fear, fear, sad, angry all emoitonal. The way out is to surrender. Detach all emotions. No hardcore fighting it, no ignoring it all thise are reactions to it won't work. Remove your emotions from it. Surrender to it. Thats the secret to killing fear. Fear is an emotion.  Panic attack physically is ten minute long rush if chemical to prepare your body to survive. If you surrender to it it runs its course and you go about your day. Its understanding what surrender really means here. You arent begging your body to stop it, you arent screaming reasons why to be calm, as you said fear makes you illogical, logic isnt an emotion anyway, you have to surrender to it. Then when its done use logic and heirarchy. Or the goal is to catch it before it escaltes. This is a bit too complicated to explain on here. And your are bright but young so im not sure how comolex i can get. This disorder involved all of you. We are dealing with an axniety disorder so you cant even compare yourself to some who doesnt have it anymore.you function differently. There is a nueroscientist who explains this really well.dispenza ...search that. First name Joe. He is a dr. Lol thats the best way i can write it not to go into moderstaion.utube videos will explain mind body so well and so clear. 

Ok, thanks, haha I am trying to put hard logic on something so illogical, it is like trying to do an English class with only math. There are too many possible answers.

I have full belief you will forge thru all this. Might be slow and steady but you are very intelligent overall. Strong, solid heiratchy thinking skills intact. You just need more knowledge on all this. dispenzas utube stuff is helpful..Evolve your brain and breaking the habit of being you holds some great information. .see if you can watch some of those. Who knows maybe one day you will become a neuroscientist and be part of finding the core of why this disorder occurs. You keep being you.

:-) thanks.

Do you ever have that feeling just for a bit that you don't have anxiety. Then you start to think about it then start feeling terrible because that anxiety just rushed in like, "did you just say something about me"?

Hahaha absolutely. I didnt have it for a long time and did that and it came back. It awakens the memories. Very bad idea. I think everyone has done that and it regretted it.

Haha, ok, good. I almost felt completly "normal" a few minutes ago then well that happened. Now I am not sure if I ever felt normal. Like I might have but I don't know, I can't remember a time when I wasn't like this, but then again I don't remember a whole lot from my past. It is a little scary to think of how much I don't remember.

I am now picking up on little habits I have when I get anxious. Small, subconscious stuff like I move my bracelet back and forth on my arm. Or keep on readjusting my watch, or pick at my figure nails. It is weird I have never noticed this. I don't know why I am telling you this, just I want someone to talk to about this stuff. Someone who doesn't know me, who I will probably never see the face of. Just someone. Is that ok?

I am not sure but one of your posts have been moderated for some reason. Just making sure you knew.

Yes, it was a double from a post 

Ok, good.

Didn't you mention a YouTube channel that talked about anxiety? What was the name of it again i can't find it in your posts.

Is it "normal" to have anxiety about talking with people? Just in general.

Yes that happens. To be honest you probably dont really care what they saying. You got a lot going on in your own world and they are jabbering on abiut what probably feels like nonsense.lol . Dont worry to much about that right now. Hopefully after you get set uo and organzised with handling the anxiety that will calm down, 

thers a couple nor allowed to post them on the forum. Inthiught id send them to you in messages. I dont recall if i did. If your messages are red click that. Otherwise search in you tube beaking the habit of you.   This guy disoenza talk about it. Wonderful stuff.  The other is mindfull breathing 

Ok, thanks.