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Just diagnosed and I'm so scared

Posted , 7 users are following.

bethan67449
bethan67449

I'm 21 years old and today I got diagnosed with herpes. I'm so shocked and scared as I've always used protection but most of all embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I feel so dirty and ashamed and could really just do with someone who could share their own experiences with me as I have nobody to talk to!

0 likes, 25 replies

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  • Koolredd
    Koolredd bethan67449

    Posted

    Everyone feels this way .

    I'm 20 and got diagnosed with Genital herpes on December 15th , what I thought was a chemical burn turned out to be herpes. One of the most embarssing things I have ever been in .. In my entire life . Also I've never had to deal with so much pain down there since I've been diagnosed with this stuff ...

    My boyfriend is acceptive of it and everything but I'm still scared scared of what to do and what not to do , we have been as safe as possible , but to this day I still feel like I have restrictions on my sexual life now things that I've never had to deal with before, I can't just go around having sex unprotected with my boyfriend like I use to and my feelings are some what hurt especially since the person that gave this too me didn't even tell me they were infected ..

    But it opened my eyes to a lot . Makes me want to get my life back on track and just pray and be thankful that it was something worse like HIV , or something more deadly that I can't be excused from .

    What type of herpes do you have .. Type one or two ? Who have you told ?

    Have you had your first outbreak yet ? How did it feel ?

    • luuluu33722
      luuluu33722 Koolredd

      Posted

      I'm so sorry to hear thatsad

      How long did it take for you to feel the burning sensation after having sex with that person??

    • bethan67449
      bethan67449 Koolredd

      Posted

      I went to get checked today. Haven't had the results back but the doctor said she was pretty sure it's herpes although I don't know what type yet.

      First break out at the moment... No blisters no scabs just a couple of little sores and doesn't even hurt. Can't believe I've caught an sti though 😭

    • bethan67449
      bethan67449 luuluu33722

      Posted

      No burning sensation at all! I just thought I'd stretched my vagina a bit during sex.
    • luuluu33722
      luuluu33722 bethan67449

      Posted

      Did they tell you how long it takes to detect it?? Just keep your head up sweetheart🙏🏼
    • bethan67449
      bethan67449 luuluu33722

      Posted

      It can take anything from two days to many years after the initial infection for the first outbreak. They told me it was impossible to know when and where I was first infected!
    • luuluu33722
      luuluu33722 bethan67449

      Posted

      Are you serious? So when you went they checked your genitals (vagina) and the doc went back into the room saying seems like it may be herpes then? 😳 What makes her think it's herpes though?
    • Koolredd
      Koolredd luuluu33722

      Posted

      I only had sex with this person twice and before I went to have sex with them I used nair . So I thought it was a chemical burn .. And I had sex with them WHILE I had my outbreak ., it didn't hurt at the time .. I don't even think I had an burning sensation .

      It burned when I peed especially since it was peeling and I had raw skin ., goshhhh I was in so much pain . I ended up getting a BV and everything , I had discharge that caused an odor and that's what made go to the doctor even the doctor told me it was like a chemical burn / 2nd degree burn .. She wasn't even going to swab me for herpes until I told her to which I'm so glad I did , even the professional didn't think I i had herpes , I was in so much pain girl , like I couldn't sit straight down and I always had to keep myself moisturized down there otherwise it would all rub together .. And HURT !

      A&D ointment was my best friend I couldn't even wash down there my boyfriend had to clean me up I think that's what caused my BV I would be at work 8-9 hours a day and i wouldn't be able to get it cleaned until I got off .. Pure agony I'm scared of what the future outbreaks are . Nobody knows but my boyfriend I'm scared to tell my daddy because I don't want him to look down on me . It's a handful I sometimes just find myself in deep depression out of no where .

      But there are good days and back days .

      How are you holding up ?

    • bethan67449
      bethan67449 luuluu33722

      Posted

      Apparently the most common cause of sores on the vagina is herpes! 60% of people have it even if they don't have symptoms. I'm still waiting on the test results but she said she was 90% sure it's herpes!
    • bethan67449
      bethan67449 Koolredd

      Posted

      Mine is not painful at all unless I touch it! No discharge and only 3 tiny sores. It does hurt if I'm not careful to lean forwards when I wee! Getting urine into the sore was so unpleasant.

      It's so strange and I almost can't even believe I've got it..: definitely in denial 😕

    • luuluu33722
      luuluu33722 Koolredd

      Posted

      I don't have herpes but I signed up for this because I suffer from anxiety and I overthink things, I went to my doctor yesterday to check on my genitals (vagina) and I asked him to please check for herpes as well, he did so and came back and said I only had a yeast infection/hormone woman thing.. Taking medication for it smile but like I said I OVERTHINK things that it's beyond crazy! As well i take anxiety pills and it breaks my heart reading your stories it truly does sad

      He took discharge out of me left the room went to check it under the telescope and came back telling me I didn't have herpes that it was a minor yeast infection. As well, he checked my vagina inside and out.

      But hearing your stories literally breaks my heart!!!!! I just want all of you to know that this is not the end of your life, it's worst having HIV/AIDS. God is with you and always always always keep your head up 🙏🏼❤️

  • josiphine24649
    josiphine24649 bethan67449

    Posted

    Im 17, I've had sex with two people, and I was diagnosed with hsv 1 last month. sad

    The only way I can think of how I got it is from my boyfriend, who has oral herpes. I think that he shed the virus during oral, even though he hardly gets cold sores any more, it's possible. I was with my ex for 2 years, and haven't even seen in well over a year, and I never had any problems down there until now. 😕😕 He's accepting, but I still feel completely isolated, and I can tell he doesn't fully get how devastating it is for a person, or how painful. Or how much it can tarnish your self esteem.

    Anyways, I've had one big outbreak, but it only lasted a week. It was very painful but I kept it clean and dry, and it cleared up nicely, although I think I have a scar on my butt cheek from one of the sores 😕 I think I'm having a second outbreak now- but it's just one blister, and I can actually walk around and go pee without pain😊

    I'm very sorry this happened to you, this forum helped me a lot, and also just knowing that I'm the same person I was before, just with a skin condition in a unfortunate spot, that helps a lot too. 😊Knowing that herpes isn't dirty like everyone says, and knowing that it's very manageable and treatable is a huge help for me. I know that I'm not a bad person and you're not either! 😊 Things will get better, & every outbreak will end!

    Good luck xx😊

    • bethan67449
      bethan67449 josiphine24649

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your kind words! You have no idea how much I needed to hear that!

      I'm just so scared about dating! How do I tell somebody I have genital herpes without making them run away? 😕

    • Koolredd
      Koolredd josiphine24649

      Posted

      My boyfriend just told me last night that my sores are gone and my pigment of my skin is coming back I didn't even think that was possible ...

      It is downing sometimes I say it all the time if things don't work out between me and my boyfriend then I call it quits I don't think that I can go through the whole process of introducing myself and the fact that I have genital herpes

      And I use to look down on people with this type of stuff

      And I have so many questions for the person that infected me but they still want to deny the fact that they have it

      Even tho I remember them talking about it and I downed them .. So I guess it's my fault idk , just thinking about it like messes up my ego and self esteem all over again

    • bethan67449
      bethan67449 Koolredd

      Posted

      I'm single and I don't think I'll be involved with anyone for a LONG time! I'm to ashamed to admit it.

      I've had a few sexual partners but always used protection. I always thought people who got stis were dirty and gross but I've been so careful!

      Serves me right for being so judgmental I guess!

    • josiphine24649
      josiphine24649 luuluu33722

      Posted

      Do you mean how long it takes to show up after contraction? Because my doctor said usually a initial outbreak will happen within weeks of a person catching herpes, but it's different for everyone !
    • bethan67449
      bethan67449 josiphine24649

      Posted

      The doctor today told me that you might not have a breakout when you first contract the virus but that it can lay dormant in the body and break out when you're down or feeling tired or ill and your immune system is weak. I haven't had sex for about 4 months so mine has taken a long time to show up!
    • luuluu33722
      luuluu33722 josiphine24649

      Posted

      Yes because they said it usually takes up to 2/20 days to detect herpes so I was wondering.. or 14/16 weeks I believe? But I think it's more like 2/20 days since having herpes is a really severe pain down there for women.
    • josiphine24649
      josiphine24649 bethan67449

      Posted

      Well I've only had to do it once, and it's a little different cause we had been dating for a whole 6 months when I contracted it, but I made sure to tell him that 1) I would understand if he didn't want to keep seeing me. I think it's important to give them that option & know that a person isn't "bad" if they don't to risk their sexual health. 2) I made sure to let him know we wouldn't do anything that made him uncomfortable. Like no sex during outbreaks cause it's not only painful but spreads easier during that time, start using condoms etc. I just let him know that there were ways to keep it from spreading and that I'd do anything to protect him from it. 😊 In the end some people might run away but not everyone will I know that from expirence there is hope & anyone who bails that easily isn't worth it!
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus bethan67449

      Posted

      Or you didn't notice the first outbreak (could have been very mild), or mistook it for something else. Or it's not herpes.

      I suspect the many years of dormancy till the "first" outbreak business is very much like "asymptomatic" carriers. Turns out most such carriers do actually have (albeit very mild) symptoms they are able to eventually recognise when they are told what to look out for.

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