Just found out a week ago. I have a couple questions

Hi sara12103. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm going to answer all your questions to the best of my abilities.

First, it is possible that you got GH from your brother's roommate, but it is also possible that you didn't. Either way I would tell him so that he could get checked.

Second, you should do as much as you can to learn about GH. You will get more outbreaks. I'm sorry I can't change that. They likely won't be as painful as the first though. You may get another in a month of maybe not for a few years, it really depends on the person. I recommend telling someone that you trust completely and will accept you no matter what. It truly helps in making you feel not alone.

Yes, it is still possible to give it to another person while not having an outbreak and using protection. However, it is still possible to date, don't doubt that for a second. Just be honest with any person you're planning on being intimate with. Be prepared for them to reject you because of it. Eventually someone will come along and not give a $hit. Some will talk but most won't as long as you choose decent guys.

People will never stop ranting about herpes. It will also never stop being infuriating.

Your life is not over. You will date again. Get married. Have kids. Live a normal life. Everything will get easier and you will even stop thinking about the fact that you have it for long periods of time.

When you contract herpes you almost always have your first outbreak within 3 days. An amino acid called L-Lysine will prevent outbreaks. 

When I thought it was herpes I immediately went to doctor's office. The doctor ordered a blood test, because my sore had a scab on it and there was no drainage. Apparently a culture of sore or getting spinal fluid test are the most accurate ways of diagnosing herpes. Anyway my blood test gave a positive reading for past exposure according to antibodies and negative for recent exposure. Should you not be tested first before assuming you have herpes? You can transmit herpes via viral shedding without any sores. The CDC states taking antiviral meds on initial outbreaks reduces future outbreaks and severity. In my opinion if you have herpes it's from the person you last had sex with.

sara12103,

 I was devastated when I found out, not only because I had been with multiple people but because I questioned the people I had been with around the time and some talked about it to people and coming from small town I felt like everyone knew.  It's not the end of the world though. I was 22 when I got my results. I went to the doctor because I felt a bump down there during a shower and it wasn't normal.  You can still have sex if you want.  Seriously, guys do not even care 99% of the time unless during a breakout. I don't even think theres a need to mention it unless you're having a breakout then just avoid the sex.  Just don't do what I did.  I hate the fact that everyone that was the potential giver of it, I wish I had never opened my damn mouth about it because no one would know otherwise.  People can talk bad about the disease all they want but its just a little freaking bump that shows up every now and then.  I'm having my first break out of the year, and in 365 days year not 2014.  they happen less with time as long as you take the medicine for it and I only take the medicine during breakouts, You will be okay. Take care of yourself.

 

First of all, you need to relax.

Although it makes you feel gross and super low remember about 90% of the population have it - on their faces as cold sores.

When I had my frist outbreak it was the worst thing ever, but after I finished my course it calmed down. That was about 8 years ago and since then I've had one outbreak that hurt and one or two that were barely noticable. You need to be calm and relaxed about this, as I think stress is a major trigger.

If you don;t want to tell anyone about it, don't! It sounds like this guy gave it to you, but as with any STI no one really knows where and when the chain started, especially with herpes as it can lay dormant.

Do NOT let the fact you have it rule your life. I call it 'the herps' so it doesn't sounds so gross. Literally only 3 people know I have it and none of them have ever mentioned it. If you use condoms and lay off sex during an outbreak, the other person will probably not get it. You should be using condoms anyway, and if you get in to a serious relationship then just state the facts: I have herpes, you might catch it, you might not. You might just have to use condoms all the time - no biggie.

Don't be so hard on yourself, it happens and you deserve to not feel bad about this.

Hey Sara12103, I completely agree with what Beth has said above.

You WILL date again, I know it seems awkward as hell bringing up the sti talk but it gets easier with time, most guys arent worried as Beth said ^^

I got genital hsv1 when I was 18, I was also devistated but through lots of reading on the net and with a doctor who specialised in STIs, I slowly grew more comfortable and finally I told some close friends and some family members. There is definitely still stigma out in society, so much so, but it can only change if people are educated and know the facts. So I definitely recommend doing all the reading that you can about GH and with time you will accept yourself, your confidence will come back and youll be able to live a normal life again

the severity of outbreaks is different for everyone, try to watch what causes an outbreak for you, I found from day 1 that streas played a huge part, so much so that my antiviral medication wasnt working in the initial outbreak. After that I decided not to take medication and definitely see positive results from relaxing, not thinking about it!, and staying healthy. 

I have tried lysine tablets but I personally found zinc to be a lot more efficient, but perhaps that was something my body was lacking and therefore my immune system was weaker, which would lead to an outbreak. im not sure! but lysine didnt seem to have a huge impact. I think consuming foods with lysine and low in arginine will be just as helpful, for eg. chicken. (so you dont end up taking 100 tablets a day)

It will take time, but dont stress too much look after yourself nd do some self pampering.

and! you might find by telling your close friends that their opinions about herpes will change, and that they will mature and stop gossiping about it. 

Also I just want to mention, did you get tested or did the doctor just assume? a swab test during what you think is an outbreak or discomfort can clarify that, a blood test will also work but wont be specific as to whether it is hsv1 or hsv2 at the site of infection. (theyre basically the same but hsv2 tends to be more severe genitally than hsv1, in saying that I have hsv1 and get outbreaks regularly if im stressing)

Best of luck!