Just have had my first outbreak

Thank you so much for your reply. I applied tea tree oil and it is really good for mild itchiness. I wonder how long I should wait to be with my bf again. I can't decide if the outbreak is finished or it is still very contagious when itchiness continiues.

I started to take L-lysine and vitamin d to help my immune stytem. I don't know if I need to be on medicine again just after the outbreak. 

First of all, which HSV type do you have, and how do you know your bf doesn't already have it? Although it's possible for herpes to lie dormant for years, in most acute cases the source is usually the most obvious, in which case there's nothing much to worry about (besides possible autoinoculation) if you both have the same type. He can be a carrier without symptoms, just fyi, and can do an IgG blood test to find out, so that you both know where you stand and how to proceed (i.e., precautions or no need).

Sex can aggravate outbreaks, even trigger them in some people, and since you just had your first outbreak, it might be good to wait a little until everything feels normal down below again. As for HSV type, Type 2 is more infectious than Type 1. It also recurs and sheds more often. If you don't know your type, it's both useful and important to find out (for prognosis, transmission, etc.).

I don't know which type I have. 

I don't know which type I have. My bf thinks that herpes lied dormant and got trigered by something. He went to the doctor and the doc told him that he can't pass it if there is no symptom. He seems to be convinced. Honestly, we didn't know what genital herpes was. I am waiting for some tie to have my blood tested and try to understand about the symptoms I have and how frequently I will get it. Last week, I was about to hurt myself, but I am trying to be better now. I guess I have type 2 since no oral sex occured for some time.  

If you get lesions again, have them swabbed within 2-3 days max, otherwise you can also do the IgG antibody blood test (not IgM). Usually they say to wait 3-4 months from infection, but you can test a bit earlier. In fact, if you test now and are still considered negative, then there's your proof that this is a new infection (assuming it was definitely herpes), not an old one! Good to test for both types, if you do. Type 1 usually causes cold sores, but also genital herpes. Type 2 nearly always only causes genital herpes.

No offence, but his doctor is a fool, lol. Up to 70% of new infections occur as a result of (near) asymptomatic shedding. That means the virus sheds at the surface of the genitals *without* symptoms (or perhaps only very mild symptoms that can be mistaken for a pimple, yeast, jock itch, etc.) and can be transmitted to others. That's why herpes is relatively common.

P.S. It used to be believed that you could only spread herpes during an outbreak with lesions, but that has been disproven for some time. Same goes for testing. No need for symptoms to test anymore.

I know that the doctor is fool even though he is a prof in a reputable clinic. I saw 4 doctors and none of them explained it properly to me. They only diagnosed and gave some medicines. I will have tested and hope for type 1 although I am very pessimistic about that.

If you did not engage in much receptive oral sex, then it could be Type 2, unfortunately. Still hope for the best and be prepared for the worst! Some people have what looks and seems like herpes, only to find out that is not. Or they only have Type 1.

I had no such luck, lol. Hoped for gonorrhea/chlamydia instead, then hoped for Type 1 when I tested negative for those, but ended up positive for Type 2. My "giver" allegedly had no symptoms, supposedly no idea, never tested, because he thought you couldn't without symptoms, blah blah blah, and now I'm stuck with this, heh. But life goes on!

Now I have the same story. I feel depressed and but surely we have to hope for better. I will try to strenghten my immune system and see how the outbreaks go on. I've seen some people on web, who only have one outbreak and never has anything since. I don't know if it can be like this with type 2.

Thank you so much for all the information and support. I can't have any help from anyone here and it has been such a relief to talk to you.

No problem, let me know how it goes, and happy to talk again or answer questions, etc.

I have a question if you don't mind When a person had a cold sore lets say 2 years ago and never had anything since. When you kiss that person, is it contagious even when he doesn't have any symptoms? I am asking this to compare it with genital herpes. It will help me to understand how genital herpes can be so contagious even when there is no symptoms.

It is only contagious when the virus is shedding, which happens from time to time , completely at random, and not always with (obvious or recognisable) symptoms. Same for both cold sores and genital herpes. If a person is run down, with another illness, for example, they may be more prone to viral shedding. But it can happen even when seemingly healthy, so it's kind of like Russian roulette, lol.

It s so hard for me to understand. I walked in the street last night and saw at least 3 people with cold sores. They seem to be fine with all that. I am sure that they don't even know that the virus is shedding at random times and they can be contagious when they kiss. However, it seems that virus shedding is much more severe when it comes to genital herpes. Do you know the percentage/possibility of the contagion when the virus is shedding? So sorry to bother you with all that, but I really need to understand this condition fully as I am stuck with it for the rest of my life.

Shedding varies by HSV type and location, which is another good reason to confirm your type. Genital Type 2 sheds the most (about 30% of days), closely followed by oral Type 1, then further behind is genital Type 1, with oral Type 2 shedding the least (only 1% or 3% of days, if I recall correctly). Shedding also varies from person to person and decreases over time, but is never zero. The first year of infection is the worst, especially the first three months.

If sex during outbreaks/prodromes is avoided, female to male transmission is 4% per year (not per sex act). Plus condoms, 2%. Plus condoms and daily HSV antiviral meds, 1%. But this assumes an established, monogamous, hetero relationship with full disclosure, so the percentages would probably be higher otherwise. This is for Type 2, btw. Type 1 would be even lower.

Right. I fall into this category. So i don't know when im actively shedding... Im asymptomatic.

You don't get outbreaks?